leehamilton Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Hi everyone. I met a guy online and went on our first date and had a great time, on the date he mentioned he wasn't into having a serious relationship until he's lived in the city for a full year (he moved here a 5 months ago). We get along amazingly well, but I left the date seeing him as just a friend…we didn't even kiss. A week later we went on our second date…same time as the last had a great time full of laughs and full of drinks. On this date I realized that I'm very attracted to him and we end up sleeping together. Few days after we meet out late that night with friends, I end up staying at his place again. Next morning we go to brunch with friends…stay at his once more that evening. We text pretty regularly, he calls once in a while, but we since that brunch it's been a month and we've only seen each other very little. I haven't laughed or gotten along with someone this well in a very long time. He makes me very happy and I find myself thinking about him all the time. I've been trying to go on other dates with different guys to think about someone else because he did say he wasn't interested in a relationship. I can't also help but think we might have slept together too soon? I would love to be in a relationship with him…should I move on and keep looking elsewhere or be honest and express my feelings for him? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 He already told you he doesn't want a relationship. Your continued contact and sexual intimacy with him suggests you're fine with that. I would stop hanging out with him and move on. You're not looking for the same things out of this. 1
brokengirl85 Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Why did you ignore what he said? He said he's not looking for a rekationship. It's on you to continue as friend with benefits. But then don't come back here crying because he's ignoring you or because he's found the one. I'm really amazed. Guys are simple (mostly) and this one was honest. You need to understand that sex is just that for guys. They don't get attached. 1
angel.eyes Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 You had all the information you needed by the end of the first date. What was the point of going on a second date with someone who clearly told you a relationship with you was out of the question? 1
thecrucible Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 He's using "I don't want a relationship until I've lived in the city for a year" as an excuse and way to keep you on a string. Since he hasn't said no, it might be an attempt to keep you interested without him making any kind of commitment to you. 1
sunshine2 Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 When a man says he is not looking for a relationship you need to believe him. You slept with him, too soon for sure, knowing that and now you are attached to him. There is no way that he is going from not wanting to have a relationship to wanting one just cause you had sex either. He was being honest. If you want a relationship, this is not the guy for you.
NYC-BigKat Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Hi everyone. I met a guy online and went on our first date and had a great time, on the date he mentioned he wasn't into having a serious relationship until he's lived in the city for a full year (he moved here a 5 months ago). We get along amazingly well, but I left the date seeing him as just a friend…we didn't even kiss. A week later we went on our second date…same time as the last had a great time full of laughs and full of drinks. On this date I realized that I'm very attracted to him and we end up sleeping together. Few days after we meet out late that night with friends, I end up staying at his place again. Next morning we go to brunch with friends…stay at his once more that evening. We text pretty regularly, he calls once in a while, but we since that brunch it's been a month and we've only seen each other very little. I haven't laughed or gotten along with someone this well in a very long time. He makes me very happy and I find myself thinking about him all the time. I've been trying to go on other dates with different guys to think about someone else because he did say he wasn't interested in a relationship. I can't also help but think we might have slept together too soon? I would love to be in a relationship with him…should I move on and keep looking elsewhere or be honest and express my feelings for him? Just keep seeing him & take it a day at a time & tell him how he makes u so so happy when u with him & that's all u do for now. Maybe one day he'll fall for u back .
angel.eyes Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Why are you encouraging her to hang on to false hope??? OP, he doesn't want a relationship with you. You can accept that now, or hang around hoping until you discover he's found someone he does want as a girlfriend. The longer you hang on hoping, the more emotionally invested you'll become, and the harder it will be for you when you finally have to accept what he told you point blank on your first date. 1
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