LookAtThisPOst Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Giving a stranger specifics on real life location are against security advice. You shouldn't ask and I would never tell a man who has seen my photos where I hang out in real life. I wouldn't even respond. Huh? I don't even see how it's a "security" issue. This is called "Getting to know you." You're in the minority here. Sounds like a lose/lose situation with OLD. Too vague, you're seen as "boring" too specific..."you're violating so-called security advice!" *eyeroll*
road Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Horrible OLD pic, a smoker when I CLEARLY said in my profile no smoking. Seriously overweight, a bunch of kids still at home (said no kids) bottom line when women clearly did not read my profile. If men/women were women/men magnets they would be having no trouble getting dates in real life. Wake up everyone. This is why they are on OLD. They read the no kids, or whatever. They take a stab any way because maybe the person that they like is not getting any dates either so they figure the person they clicked on may just say why not. Hoping the will feel: I'll give them a shot better then sitting home alone another 52 Saturdays this year, again. Or they are the other kind of people that go to OLD not to get a date but just to get their ego boosted and brag how many people responded to their profile. Why in the world should a person feel offended when an unattractive person wants to date them? Them liking you has nothing to do with how you feel about them or a negative reflection on you. I mean just learn how to act gracious. Just say thank you for thinking that I am special that way, though I am sorry to say I do not feel that way about you. You will find someone that feels you are very special to them.
Larryville Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Sooooo, by that logic, a disinterested woman who does not reply politely to you is rude, entitled and/or attention-seeking… Nope did not say or imply that… I (personally) don’t take offense at someone not responding to me as an insult. Me personally I have NEVER had a woman be rude because many who have replied to me at least recognized that my intro was sincere. Been turned down LOTS of times, but being turned down or even ignored is not necessarily a bad thing. I will say and I have had many women (closer to my age range) frankly admit that they are not necessarily "looking" just testing the waters. Why in the world should a person feel offended when an unattractive person wants to date them? That is not the point I was making, if someone is wanting to seriously meet me, then read my profile. If you message me and you clearly have issues in your profile why would I respond to you? Not simply about being “unattractive”. A woman who takes a bathroom pic with dirty clothes on the floor or a jacked up messy background is NOT serious. By the same token if someone is sending messages to hundreds of women they are not serious either in my mind. If I take the time to message someone I am messaging them because I like how they look and what they have to say and they seem genuine in their approach and the profile pics at least they are making a sincere effort. Kinda like a job interview, if someone approached me for a job and wrote their resume in crayon and came to an interview in jeans they are NOT serious, all I’m saying.
iphone_user1 Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) When she does the match, but she doesn't initiate. Can't you say something? I'm on OLD. Been ghosted so many times I got used to it. It doesn't bother me anymore. Actually I got ghosted 3 days ago after having a clear nice convo with a pretty girl, suddenly, boom! I heard no more from her haha Edited March 14, 2016 by iphone_user1
Kamille Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Woman here. When on OLD, I don't take being ignored personally and also assume most men don't either. I assume only a small minority get offended at the lack of response. Most men I've met say seem to enjoy OLD (and I would qualify them as great average guys). I've also found different people have different approaches to OLD. For some, it's all-encompassing: if they're on OLD, it becomes their priority - and they tend to assume that it is everyone else's. I have a hard time making OLD a priority and can go weeks without checking my account. As a result, I don't see why I would get offended if my messages got ignored. I just assume they're either more interested in someone else, have other things going on or are no longer (that) active on the site. 2
Philosopher Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 How common in reality are "thanks but no thanks" or similar messages? From my experience at least they must be very rare. Over the years I must of sent out literately hundreds of messages and only twice did I get a message back implying they were not interested. Occasionally I do get a message which suggests they are not interested as they make no attempt to further the conversation, like "Hi, I am good thanks". This could be a polite way of rejecting someone. Similarly if I get a message from a women I am not interested I will ignore it rather then message them saying I am not interested as I have assumed that is the way online dating works. Perhaps if I did get rejection messages I would send out rejection messages myself to those I wasn't interested in. Even if a conversation has started, it will either end up with an exchange of numbers or the conversation ending abruptly. Only once has a women said they are ending the conversation. Therefore being ignored seems to be overwhelming the default response by women where I live to getting messages from someone they are not interested in.
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