katiegrl Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Sometimes love isn't enough OP. If it's minor differences people can work through them. In your cases, it's major differences. I really think you two are not compatible at all. You have just become a bit dependent on each other. He wants to start a family...you don't. And he doesn't see you as wife material?! Honestly, I wouldn't say that to anyone I saw a future with. The time to address these major differences (and I'm not sure they even can be addressed) was before you got back together. Nothing has changed, except I suspect he has played around a bit and maybe found it hard work so.us taking you back. For now. Well she is still blocked, so it doesn't appear he is willing to take her back. At least not right now anyway And what's up with the blocking? How old is he? That is so damn rude .... he would be nexted for *that*! 2
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Sounds like he wants to start a family, just not with her. I think so too.
preraph Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 If you try and contact him and continue to try to take blame for what sounds like mostly his own problems and bad judgment, you are only rewarding and encouraging his bad behavior. Quite honestly, these are big issues. Do you want to spend the rest of your life quarreling with him about money and him getting his way on every fight because he shuts himself off and makes you feel bad? Block him back and find a better man. You're young. The world is your oyster. 1
strawberryshortstack Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 In his defence I guess if you start a new relationship with someone new and they start raising issues in the first two weeks, people would run away asap. Maybe I should've waited longer before mentioning? It was bothering me a lot but perhaps I should've waited a few more weeks? Yes when we broke up 2 months ago he mentioned he wanted us to get back together later; new start, no baggage. Sadly I don't think it works that way. Here's the way I see it. You have a history, you can't just "blank out" that history and start "new". It sounds nice in theory, but it just doesn't work. The old issues will pop right back up again, and unless they are discussed and worked through, nothing changes. He can call it that all he wants, but this is not a "new relationship" - it's a second chance at the first failed relationship, but unless he's willing to work with you, there is no chance of it working out. Your best bet is to walk away - go NC and heal, then find someone who wants to put in the work of having a relationship - they DO take work, but in the right one, it won't feel like work. 1
strawberryshortstack Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Again, jmo but there is only one reason why a man doesn't consider a woman wife material ...and that is... He doesn't love her enough ... if at all. Sorry, but he's stringing you along. He has no intention of marrying you. Ever. His excuses for not are just that - excuses. I am sorry to be so blunt about it, but the sooner you realize this the better. There is someone else much better for you out there. ...end it for good with this one and go find him! Your current RL is on a long rocky road to .....nowhere. Again, I'm sorry. Exactly. I was in a relationship with a man for 8 1/2 years who told me that he wouldn't marry me until he'd had a chance to go to a university and live in a dorm with other guys. Then it was that he didn't want to get married until we both lost weight. And then it was something else. And so on, and so forth. End result: I dumped him. He didn't go to college, he didn't live in a dorm room with other guys. No more than two years later, he was married to someone else. Someone who weighed more than I did (and his weight never changed either - at least, not in the downward direction), and thus proving that his excuses for not marrying me were just that - excuses. He simply didn't want to marry me, because he didn't love me enough, and was too cowardly to say so. If he wants to marry you, he'll move heaven and earth to marry you. Clearly, he's doing neither. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Exactly. I was in a relationship with a man for 8 1/2 years who told me that he wouldn't marry me until he'd had a chance to go to a university and live in a dorm with other guys. Then it was that he didn't want to get married until we both lost weight. And then it was something else. And so on, and so forth. End result: I dumped him. He didn't go to college, he didn't live in a dorm room with other guys. No more than two years later, he was married to someone else. Someone who weighed more than I did (and his weight never changed either - at least, not in the downward direction), and thus proving that his excuses for not marrying me were just that - excuses. He simply didn't want to marry me, because he didn't love me enough, and was too cowardly to say so. If he wants to marry you, he'll move heaven and earth to marry you. Clearly, he's doing neither. Yep. Had an ex that pulled the marriage string up and down with me too. He ended up chickening out 6 weeks prior to our wedding. I married a year later to someone else who met me, liked me, loved me and moved all of the obstacles out of the way to marry me. 1
Recommended Posts