AndrewJ Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Hey peolples just after advice on weather i should try to make contact with a girl i had feelings for once. About 2 months ago i saw her out and ignored her when we ran into each other, later that night i called her phone and left a drunken message. I texted her the next day and aplogised but her reply showed me where to go. She texted back Good Bye which kinda was the end. Lately she has been on my mind a lot. And i was wondering what u fellow shackers would do would it be worth me writing her an email to say that im sorry about the past and realise that i still value her freindship if she would let me be her freind. The question fellow shackers is this ludicrously insane? Also what would be the smoothest way to explain that i would like her as a freind with out sounding desperate and imature?
millefiori Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 It's not going to work, because you don't want her as a friend. Don't write her anything. I actually see you as a fun guy who could meet a lot of other women if he were not so self-conscious. Get some new hobbies, you're in Australia and all Aussies like to do sports. Go out, enjoy your life.
Author AndrewJ Posted June 14, 2005 Author Posted June 14, 2005 millefiori, you are probably right this is what i was going to send, "Hello ___, The last year for me has been a troubled one but finally I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I made a conscious decision to change my life to be the best human I can be, the way I was living was crazy I hadn’t realized that until I gave up the vices that were killing me. I met you in a time in my life where I was not together at all. That’s the only excuse I have for my then irrational behaviour. I thought I knew it all and was so self centred. I see the world these days through different eyes. I don’t want to force or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. I’m sorry for my behaviour it was the reason I lost your friendship. I just felt I owed you that, Andrew
millefiori Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Nope, don't send unrequested explanations. Show her you have changed through your actions, but don't write her how much you changed or that you're sorry. You did nothing that would require extensive apologies months later. Get a life, then run into her by accident and show her how great you're doing, how much you have improved your life, that you really got your sh*t together. That's a lot better than writing anything.
miss-gonewest Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 AndyJ that message is WAY TOO COMPLICATED! I'd hit delete after the first few words - no offence but its just too in depth and self depracating! You don't need to humble yourself to that extent just to become friends.... trust me! And you are sharing your baggage - girls don't need more than they carry - unless its Louis Vuitton! Her pride would have been hurt that you ignored her, and then to follow up with a DM (drunk message) would have confirmed her suspicions about [Aussie] blokes.... (trust me, I know!) Send her a message but keep it short and succint. Tell her you were sorry for messaging her - you were drunk - and that you'd like to make it up to her... a coffee or a meal perhaps? Short, sharp and to the point... if she replies, again keep your reply short, sharp and to the point. Leave her wondering - don't tell her the end before she's picked up the book! We all f***k up, you aren't a superhero, own your mistake and move on. My theory is that you can't have enough friends, if you want more than you are going to have to be patient... earn her trust, be a mate (not a sleaze) and bide your time. If it develops into more than you are a lucky man. If not, you have a new friend. Let me know what you decide...
millefiori Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by miss-gonewest Tell her you were sorry for messaging her - you were drunk - and that you'd like to make it up to her... a coffee or a meal perhaps? He apologized for this call two months ago. It's enough.
Author AndrewJ Posted June 14, 2005 Author Posted June 14, 2005 Miss gone west, I think that her last txt to me 2 months ago which read "Good Bye" was a polite way to say dont evr contact me again. I don't think it would be right to txt her again even though I beleive her to be an awesome soul. If i did txt her I fera she would hate me even more. so hard to leave these things be when they are on ya mind
miss-gonewest Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Look, I'm probably going to start a riot here, but.... but... My favourite adage is "that its better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done" If its on your mind and you'd feel better contacting her - than do it. If she doesn't respond favourably then you are no worse off (other than having a bruised ego). Like I said - if you wish to contact her, keep it subtle and light - ask an open question to which she will need to respond to (good or bad) and then at least you know. Just make sure that your intentions are genuine (I'm sure you will - you seem like you go alright!). I wish you well.... either way.
Author AndrewJ Posted June 14, 2005 Author Posted June 14, 2005 Miss gone west, I too agree that its better to regret something you did than something u didnt do. Ill flipside side that one this time. Being Ill feel better regreting not sending txt than to not have. Life is a strange and powerfull thing, If she wants anything to do with me we will meet again by then Ill be a different person someone she'll realsie that she may have wanted to know till then ill just do my thing. You can't make a scorned woman change her mind
Recommended Posts