14waysILY Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 So my boyfriend and I started talking in July and then we began dating in August then he had to leave for school three hours away from me. So we decided to work it out long distance. We dated for 6 months and then he told me he had to break it off because he wasn't ready. He told me I was the right girl but it was the wrong time because he felt that he needed to focus on me. He told me he still loved me and needed me in his life and that no matter what he knows we had an amazing connection and is positive that it will work itself out. Yet he doesn't know if he wants it to be a beeak up or a break all he said was he felt like he was making the biggest mistake by letting me go but he also knew he needed this time for himself. I ofcourse agreed to being friends and then over this past month I've gone through so many emotions mostly being miserable for missing him and bitter because he doesn't seem to be as upset as I am. I just don't know what to do he is all I want and I love him more than anything and I want to get him back. Please help me or tell me stories of couples getting back together. He said when he comes back in May he's open to seeing how things go because he loves me he just needs time to focus on himself.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Oh boy. OP, I know you don't want to hear this but don't wait around for him. He can't even decide if this is a break or break-up? Why are you giving him all the power to decide that? He's basically giving himself permission to do what he wants, and you're co-signing on it. May I ask how old you are, and if you've had much relationship experience? For the time being, don't try to be friends with him. It's nearly impossible to be friends with an ex when one person is still in love, because it hurts like hell so stand by and watch your former flame get on with life while you're so upset. You need time to detach and take care of yourself. Go No Contact for now. Do things that make you happy. It's possible he will realize he misses you and wants you in his life as his girlfriend again. But I would strongly caution you against pinning hopes that things will get back to normal in May. What if they don't? You will be right back to Square One. This why No Contact is so important. It gives you the tools and time you need to feel better about yourself again, regardless of whether or not he comes back. And that is a win-win situation.
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Your story is pretty classic. The boy went off to school where he met all sorts of new exciting people, including girls. The girl back home just can't compete especially because these other girls are right there & she's not. Like many girls before you, you lost him the minute he set foot on campus. At best he'll come home for summer, date you while it's convenient then dump you once school starts again. School is changing him in ways you don't understand. He's not the same boy you met last summer. 2
Meli22 Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 The reason he doesn't seem upset is because he knows he has you. He's having the best of both worlds - living the single life at school and having a devoted girl waiting for him back home. If you want this guy to have a reality check then completely cut ties with him. Don't be friends, don't be there for him, don't be anything. Just cut this chord before you get even more miserable. If hes going to come crawling back then it will only happen after you've dissapeared from his life.
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