Metty Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 We were best friends until fours years ago when I created distance between us because I wasn't happy with her constant talk about herself and I was going through a hard time in my life where I shut everyone out. I didn't answer calls and that includes her calls so one day she just stopped talking to me. Years of friendship and suddenly we don't talk anymore and it just goes from there. I know now that she was sad about it but I didn't know what to do, I didn't know back then what was going on so I let it slide thinking it would be okay in the end but instead she started hating on me? With time I began to receive angry looks from her and if we were in the same room she would leave. I had no idea what I had done wrong. Eventually she openly confessed that she realized what true friendship is and that to her was a big lesson in life, apparently. A year of us not talking had gone by so I figured I could talk to her and solve things once for all. She said I could absolutely text her any time, so I did. I apologized and wanted to talk things through. She said she would get back to me and never did. I was like okay I've done what I can do but that was not it, instead she became mean towards me. I remember her stealing me and my friends table on purpose and laughed about it. She for some reason turned our mutual friends against me who no longer speak to me, she called me a bitch, she told her new friends about me so whenever they see me they start talking and once elbowed me on purpose. She deleted me from Facebook with the quote "prioritate those of prioritate you." This is what's been going on for the last four years. I have felt so guilty and sad because of one mistake I did four years ago. My friends just shrug it off and say move on but how can I? I still feel very hurt and have lost friends because of this. I am making new ones but it's not the easiest thing. I don't understand why she did what she did to me, I tried to make things up but instead she revenge me then cut me off. She was my best friend. I do think about it a lot as I'm seeing her and my old friends having fun together and the last person on earth whose welcome is me. I know she sounds like a jerk but she was not at all like this when we were friends, she was the kindest and most loyal person I knew, I really looked up to her. I would really appreciate some advice or just someone to talk to you know.
basil67 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 It's unfortunate that she took revenge instead of just telling you that she has no intention of being your friend anymore. But different people react differently to situations. All you can do is learn from what you did and never repeat it with someone else. Meanwhile, just give her as wide a berth as possible. If she doesn't see you or hear from you, her anger towards you will die.
preraph Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 The times I've been shut out by friends it's been because they were in an abusive relationship and hiding it. I did get very sick of only hearing from them when things reached a crescendo, only to lose them again when they went crawling back to their abusers. However, I did shut people out when I was depressed over a long period. So I know different things can cause it. But I also know my true friends at least tried to maintain contact during that time. Whatever you did, it hurt her and made her mad. My experience has been if a person does you wrong once and you forgive and go back, they are very likely to do it again, knowing you'll put up with it. But since you didn't disclose the circumstances under which you did it, it's hard to advise here. 1
Author Metty Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 The times I've been shut out by friends it's been because they were in an abusive relationship and hiding it. I did get very sick of only hearing from them when things reached a crescendo, only to lose them again when they went crawling back to their abusers. However, I did shut people out when I was depressed over a long period. So I know different things can cause it. But I also know my true friends at least tried to maintain contact during that time. Whatever you did, it hurt her and made her mad. My experience has been if a person does you wrong once and you forgive and go back, they are very likely to do it again, knowing you'll put up with it. But since you didn't disclose the circumstances under which you did it, it's hard to advise on here. I hear you. I was too depressed that's why I shut everyone out. She did call but I didn't pick up the phone. We would run into each other at school back then and it was all fine and she would always invite me to do this and that which I could not put myself through during my depression so I would always turn her down. I never ever said anything mean towards her, I just "faded" but I never wanted to lose her as a friend. One day she just stopped. She stopped texting, calling and talking to me. We never talked about it and the suddenly she started to dislike me which eventually turned into hate and being mean towards me. When I did get better and could recognize my mistakes I tried to make up with her but that did not work out well like I mentioned.. I am truly sorry for whatever I have done towards her? I don't exactly understand myself what happened or why she is hating me and for so long. Not sure if I answered you correctly here but yeah.
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