emi Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I have some problems with my bf thats kinda keep bugging me for a really long time now. Its making me feel miserable. One day we were hanging out, we had lunch( paid by him). Then we walked around the mall. 1 hour later he pulled me into some shop and ask me if i wanted something. I said no. Then we went and walked some more. And he dragged me in second shop, ask me if i want to try some dish . I said "ok this look nice". Then he suddenly snapped at me and said " Why u always want expensive stuff?"". Mind you it was 7 € for some fish with salad . What makes me uncomfortable is he was the one who dragged me in and ask me if i wanted something. And while he said that to me , there were people around next to us. I was so embarassed i stormed off the shop. Some day later, we went out. He also asked me again if i want to eat something. I said KFC would be nice. We got some nuggets and fries for 5€. Then he complained how hella expensive this was and how he would get much better stuff at Burger King and etc. Which make me really uncomfortable. I mean come on im not asking him to dine me at 5 stars restaurants. We normally eat in and when we go out we just have fast food. Hes frugal since his family is also like that. But does it need to be like that???
Author emi Posted March 12, 2016 Author Posted March 12, 2016 Yes i do. But he pays for most things because he works and i study
wonderbug111 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I have some problems with my bf thats kinda keep bugging me for a really long time now. Its making me feel miserable. One day we were hanging out, we had lunch( paid by him). Then we walked around the mall. 1 hour later he pulled me into some shop and ask me if i wanted something. I said no. Then we went and walked some more. And he dragged me in second shop, ask me if i want to try some dish . I said "ok this look nice". Then he suddenly snapped at me and said " Why u always want expensive stuff?"". Mind you it was 7 € for some fish with salad . What makes me uncomfortable is he was the one who dragged me in and ask me if i wanted something. And while he said that to me , there were people around next to us. I was so embarassed i stormed off the shop. Some day later, we went out. He also asked me again if i want to eat something. I said KFC would be nice. We got some nuggets and fries for 5€. Then he complained how hella expensive this was and how he would get much better stuff at Burger King and etc. Which make me really uncomfortable. I mean come on im not asking him to dine me at 5 stars restaurants. We normally eat in and when we go out we just have fast food. Hes frugal since his family is also like that. But does it need to be like that??? Ugh.. I've been in that same situation. IT'LL NEVER CHANGE... Not sure what the pulling you into stores and asking you if you want something is about? Sounds like he's testing you to see if he feels like you're a gold-digger or actually more like a penny-digger
Author emi Posted March 12, 2016 Author Posted March 12, 2016 Ugh.. I've been in that same situation. IT'LL NEVER CHANGE... Not sure what the pulling you into stores and asking you if you want something is about? Sounds like he's testing you to see if he feels like you're a gold-digger or actually more like a penny-digger Uhm? Dont get what u trying to say
BlametheIrish Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Yes i do. But he pays for most things because he works and i study Maybe he's secretly mad that he pays for more and takes it out on you in a passive aggressive manner. Whatever hus reasoning is, he's acting immature. Do you ever call him out on hus we stuff? Like aak him why he's prompting you to get something then.complains about the price? Btw OP I'd be real irritated if I were in your position too.
wonderbug111 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Uhm? Dont get what u trying to say I'm saying it looks like maybe he was trying to see if you only want him for his money... But it doesn't appear that he has much money so instead of you being a "gold" digger, you'd actually only be a "penny" digger
BlametheIrish Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Wow, I really need to start proofreading my posts.
preraph Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 His family is like that and he is never going to change. He shouldn't be trying to act the big shot and THEN chastising you for wanting something that costs $7. My guess is even if you had plenty of money between you, he'd still be criticizing you. Is this how you want to spend your life? It's not how I would want to spend the next 10 minutes. If I need to be frugal (and I do and am most of the time), I can do that without any guidance from a man and do it better myself.
Jersey born raised Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Please clarify his comnent He was annoyed he pays most times? Why money or other issue ? He regretted not pushiing for burger king but did not know how to tell you gracefully KFC sucks e Views it as why am paying the same amount as I would for a great steak. I lived an hour away from NYC and worked in manhattan. This thought crossed my mind often, but traveling an hour each way for lunch just didn't make sense. If you are dancing around the questions of who pays for a date: you ask you pay unless you phrase it as "I would love it if you took me there".
brokengirl85 Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Mmm not really a good sign. He's probably annoyed by you and unhappy. Otherwise, he wouldn't have reproached you the meals he bought for you. Try to think if everything else is ok in your relationship: sex, communication... My guess is this guy is unhappy with you for some reason.
Leigh 87 Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 He is a tight @ss. I have dated them too. Personally I am not into tight @sses and prefer men who naturally like to spoilt their girlfriends. If you have options, def do not settle for a tight wad. There are men who will just love to pamper you and spoil u occasionally without complaining because they actually WANT to do nice things for you! Complaining over KFC? What a loser! Pathetic! Is this really the best you can do
Gaeta Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 How long have you been dating? He's starting to show his true self. Today it's about KFC and tomorrow it will be about groceries, utilities, car expenses, etc. It will be about everything and you'll hear him complain all the time. My friend is dating a man like this. She can't buy herself anything (with her own money) without him complaining about how much she paid for it. Last week she asked me if it was unreasonable for her to buy herself an Ipod. My friend is 50 years old and has been working at the same job for 25 years and her boyfriend convinced her she should not buy herself an ipod. I was beside myself.
NinjaX Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Draw your boundaries clearly or he will continue. In your most loving and sweet voice, tell him something along the lines of "NAME, if you feel uncomfortable with my choices of food, I am glad to pay for them myself. I don't appreciate it when you criticize my choices." I would consider his behaviour to be a red-flag and if he doesn't respect your feelings and boundaries after you have communicated it to him, then it may be wise to rethink your options (and I am not talking about rethinking your choice of food).
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