enchanted771 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I'm having a hard time coping with this breakup. When me and my boyfriend met I thought he was the one, and we have been living together last few months. Things only went little sour less than a month ago. We have been having problems, but have still been intimate. We had an argument last Friday, but we were still getting along on the weekend off and on. He was acting kind of mean to my son but he said he's not I just treating him like he's a baby. Sunday, we get in an argument, but the night still went fine as well as the next morning. I leave for work he kisses me as usual says I love you etc. That day he moves out when I'm at work, says he can't deal with the last fight it was too much for him, so he moved out. Like it was nothing. So it's all put on me and he takes no responsibility for the reslayionship or his harsh words. He always has a good excuse for his but with mine I was having an attitude and he doesn't like to fight. I'm having a really hard time coping...I tried talking to him about working things out but it was obvious he needs space. He didn't see what he did to me and my son wasn't right. There was 101 ways he could have done this. He didn't need to do this like a high school kid. It's like he's punishing me for saying something he didn't like. He said I have to be held responsible for my words. So my question here is. Do I give him space and see if he comes around or do I just move on and wait for someone more deserving? No matter what I may have said me and my son did not deserve this.
bathtub-row Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I'm not sure I fully understand how the recent arguments went but I'm pretty sure that constant arguing is a bad sign. It's also a bad sign that he treats your son in a way that you don't like. I'm really sorry it has come to this but from what I can tell, while there may have been some good moments, this relationship seems very toxic. Also, do you really want your son to be around someone who treats him badly, or around two people who fight a lot? Another really big red flag is that instead of talking to you about these issues, he simply left you. This would be the last straw for me. While it hurts if someone leaves, I would have to look at that person as someone who's really unreasonable and doesn't want to work things out. I think if I were in your shoes, I would not try to communicate with him and I would not be willing to take him back. I can't tell which of you is creating the most tension but I think that there's just too much of it between you. You can keep trying to make this work but it will probably keep ending over and over again. I would also give you a word of advice. Your son is the one you're responsible for and he should always come first in that sense. Having said that, I would suggest that you rethink the whole idea of living with someone before you're married. You're inviting someone into your child's life who isn't yet fully committed and that's generally a bad idea. Once you do get involved with someone, you would be smart to make sure that he fully accepts your son and treats him with kindness. If a guy is jealous of your son or treats him indifferently or is mean to him, any of those things should be a complete dealbreaker. In other words, learn to be extremely picky and cautious about who you allow into you and your son's life.
Author enchanted771 Posted March 12, 2016 Author Posted March 12, 2016 We had fights off and on but last weekend was big issue. Money issue and I think you supposed to work as a team. He was being financially irresponsible and I said something and he didn't like it. This was actually the first time I saw him behave that way. He claims he wasn't being mean but I was babying my son, and he was trying to teach him to be more grown up. My son is special needs which he will never admit so he gets sensitive and he never seems to understand that he's just more immature than kids his age. But yes leaving is always the last straw. To me, men who leave do it to either prove a point, or because they didn't get their way. Weak women will give in and take the blame and the cycle continues but he will never be welcome back here again.
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