gorilla villa Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 (edited) hey everone, ive been in a relationship for 5 healthy long years untill 2 weks ago, il explain a bit bout myself, i have been taking drugs since im 13 i have been smoking weed 14 years now, and i have the the most amazing gf i could ask for.. we both had bad relationships in the past but when we met, we clicked straight way, the love we have is unreal, but me been me i think i have ruined it. we recently got engaded two years ago at xmas, she has a child not from me but he is in prison and walked away years ago, ever since the child new we were getting married.. stepfather came into the situation and she been 5 years old started to call me daddy, i love the child like my own and every one knows that. but recently we had a big row, actually our 1st ever row in 5 years.. i was so busy smoking weed and not doing anything with her is after havin affect on her and our relationship, she even took off her engadgement ring as she is so hurt from it all. she always asked me to do stuff but i never botherd as i was too stoned to want to do anything. do stuff with the chiild go shopping ect.. id go to the pub and tell her id be home and nope i wouldn come home to busy paryting.. all this is after coming up in our row and after 5 years and what we have im finding this so hard to deal with, i no weed is a big impact in this cos she told me she dont feel special anymore cos i never want to do stuff with her.. its killing me that i never noticed this untill she said it to me, she used to say to me i dont want to do nothing anymore but i never took it to heart like she did cos she seemed happy but obv she wasn, but now we are on a break for almost 3 weeks and she still cant give me an answer. I have stopped smoking it off it a week and a half, it might not seem much but to me its very hard cos i used to smoke it like cigarettes. im afraid i have lost everything cos i was too caught up in a bubble with weed.. im afraid of losing everything that i ever wanted. she keeps telling me since the break, she loves everthing bout me that im the best thing that ever came into her life we never row i mean never but now it feels like 5 years of rows has came up and i think its gone to far, i want her back so much and have told her im going to change and make her feel happy like i did b4, but she things she can never get over it cos she is gone to used to been on her own and doing this on her own.. does weed really ruin relationships?? Edited March 12, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs 1
266696687 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 (edited) Simple answer. YES It's destroyed your relationship as you chose weed over your girlfriend. Weed is more important to you than anything else. You wanted weed more. It's really simple. Seek help. Edited March 12, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redcate full quote of immediately preceding post 2
elaine567 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I really do not understand why so many men ignore when their partner tells them she is unhappy with what the man is doing to the relationship. They put her concerns away in the "no big deal" box and only take notice as she is walking out the door "out of the blue", leaving them devastated... Weed and your attitude, destroyed your relationship, she stuck by you, but it just got too much, she is now self sufficient, she no longer NEEDS you. I do not really know if it is fixable, she doesn't trust you to do the right thing any more. 5 years of resentment will be difficult to get over too. Good luck with the rehab, even if she doesn't come back, being weed free will change your life for the better. 1
bathtub-row Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Yes, it can destroy relationships, and obviously it has. Like most people addicted to drugs, you let everything take a back seat to them. Then you look around and are surprised to see that your world has collapsed. Because of the length of time you've been doing this on a regular basis, I'm thinking that it's highly unlikely that you'll change. But I'm guessing that you should very much try to get away from the drugs because it's no doubt affecting several areas of your life. For instance, your post here is incoherent in some places. Like you can't keep your thoughts together. Like most people on drugs, you probably don't think people notice it but they do. I personally don't know how you do it. You must feel like you're in a mental fog all the time. Don't you miss thinking clearly? Don't you miss seeing the world through an unclouded lens? 1
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 It wasn't so much the weed per se as the choice you made. Instead of paying attention to your FI, you got high. It doesn't really matter if you were smoking, working 80+ hours per week, engaging in a hobby or hanging out with your buddies you made the CHOICE to do something other than nurture your relationship & as a result you lost the relationship. N.B. I am very anti-drug but I mean what I said. While you chose weed over your relationship, even if you had chosen something more positive & productive like work over your relationship, the fact that this other thing / activity was more of a priority to you, drove her away. While I don't think it will work if you are serious about getting her back you need to start a program immediately. After you get 90 days sober look her up. See where she is. 3
Satu Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 It ruins lots of things; not just relationships. It makes people apathetic and passive, and stops them achieving much in life. While they sit in the fog, life passes them by.
VeveCakes Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 It ruins lots of things; not just relationships. It makes people apathetic and passive, and stops them achieving much in life. While they sit in the fog, life passes them by. This is so not true! It's the person who is responsible for their actions - not the weed. Those who do nothing would do nothing whether there was weed or not. It wasn't the weed - it was your choices and priorities. 1
Satu Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 This is so not true! It's the person who is responsible for their actions - not the weed. Those who do nothing would do nothing whether there was weed or not. It wasn't the weed - it was your choices and priorities. Numerous studies have found that cannabis does create a lack of motivation in users. I can't post a link, as I'm on somebody else's not very good phone, but if you do a quick online search, you'll find the relevant studies. If you can be bothered to, that is
benB Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I really do not understand why so many men ignore when their partner tells them she is unhappy with what the man is doing to the relationship. They put her concerns away in the "no big deal" box and only take notice as she is walking out the door "out of the blue", leaving them devastated... Weed and your attitude, destroyed your relationship, she stuck by you, but it just got too much, she is now self sufficient, she no longer NEEDS you. I do not really know if it is fixable, she doesn't trust you to do the right thing any more. 5 years of resentment will be difficult to get over too. Good luck with the rehab, even if she doesn't come back, being weed free will change your life for the better. I am def guilty of this, this was the reason my last relationship ended. I don't understand why I didn't listen when she got upset and thought of it as a minor issue. Now that she is gone my world is upside down, but I should've listened before. It sucks for sure. 2
sorano Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I was wondering the same thing as well. My ex smoked. Not a lot, so she told me. I am not sure if it altered her way of thinking at times. But I do not look back at what caused her to dump me. so many if ands or buts.
Recommended Posts