Is it right for my boyfriend to spend time with his female friend alone at night?

[Flower1212]

Im okay with him hanging out with female friends he has more than one and they usually get coffe or lunch and that fine... like I do my male friends.. I personally hang with my male friends in the day or evening. Building opposite sex friendships are fine... except, for his one specific female 'buddy'. She comes over to his place at 10pm to 1am and they watch movies and talk. Like wtf... i would never spend time with a guyfriend that late unless we were with other people at a party or with friends camping. Never alone at his house when in a relationship because I care about my BFs feelings, and am trying to be respectful. I would never tell him to get rid of his female friends either because i have no right to... But I just want respect. Now... here's the kicker... when I (his girlfriend) go to his house we will hang out and then at around 10:30pm he will get tired and pass out or say he is sleepy and go to bed.. ill beg him to stay up a little bit later and he will say he's to tired, (i do stay the night... but still)... but for this chick, he will stay up untill 1am (from what i know... F*** she could be sleeping over for all i know)

 

He texted me last night 12am and said "Im hanging out with Jenna watching a movie and my cats were laying down in a funny position" then he texted me the picture. I know he did that so he would feel better about him and her hanging out at 12am. I love his cat but comeon...

 

I only see him once or twice a week because he lives 45 mins away in another town he says he's moving to my city... but its no excuse.

Im pissed... i need some advice before I highly concider breaking this off and getting someone who respects boundries when in a relationship.

 

 

He just recenlty told me he loves me too...*roll eyes* i dont believe it one bit.. weve only been dating for 6 months.

 

Am i overreacting?

[CarrieT]

Am i overreacting?

Nope.

 

He just recenlty told me he loves me too...*roll eyes* i dont believe it one bit.. weve only been dating for 6 months.

A. It has only been six months.

B. You don't believe he loves you.

C. You are being disrespected.

-----------------------------------

= Time to Move On.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

That's a tough one but you're definitely NOT overreacting and you're feelings are valid. I don't know many women who would feel comfortable with their bf spending that kind of alone time with another female.

 

I know you don't want him to get rid of his females friends but if you really like him perhaps give him a chance to hear you out and see if he adjusts his behavior. It's always best to communicate your concern with your partner and give him a chance before dumping him. That is, unless you really don't care about him that much.

[kgcolonel]

Dear Seeking

 

Dating is like a test drive...you continue to test drive until you find the one you really want....

 

If it were me....I would tell him that this makes me uncomfortable....I feel disrespected when this happens. Watch what he does...make your decision based on how you feel during the "test drive". You're not married, no kids etc....If he says "there's nothing wrong with it", technically he may be right from his perspective but from you perspective, there is.....IT'S MAKING YOU UNCOMFORTABLE AND YOU ARE FEELING DISRESPECTED.

 

I am sure you are a lovely lady and there are many guys out there that would treat you and your relationship respectably...spend some time and find the one that passes the "test drive" better than one that practices a behavior that makes you feel less that fabulous......

[Satu]

Am i overreacting?

 

No.

 

999 times out of 1000, that feeling of 'wrongness' turns out to be well founded.

 

Ignore it at your peril...

[PandaPookie]

The fact that he stays up later when he's with them would drive me crazy. I think you should let him know exactly how you feel and ask him why that is. See what his reaction is. Even if he's not technically cheating it's still messed up.

[Driver]

That's super screwed up and I would be pissed. It's totally inappropriate and shows a total lack of respect/consideration for you and your relationship. Easier said than done, but if I were you I would walk away. I am sure he loves you, but I don't think he's mature enough to make you his main woman.

[Emilia]

No it's not. I have male friends and we don't hang out in eachother's houses one on one. Might pop in before going somewhere else but there is no intimate hanging out