CJer7128 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 A little background: My ex and I were together for about a year with a few months break. We broke up a little over two months ago and NC for a little over a month. A few days after NC I met someone when I was out. We went on dates for a few weeks and I also opened an online dating site. Well the guy I had met was a total weirdo and I cut it off. I also found the guys I chatted with online to be less than desirable and I started to miss my ex even more, so I cut everything off. I know the relationship with my ex wasn't healthy and I was not happy. He had stopped making an effort. We had a huge argument and it ended. I had tried to be friends with him and I attempted to work things out, but ultimately he did not want to and I said I couldn't be friends. So we parted ways. I have been doing all that I can to distract myself and make myself feel better. But this week has been rough. I miss him and I still love him, but I would not dare to reach out to him. I don't want to know what he is doing. I am 29 and this is the first time I really ever truly grieved the loss of a relationship. I am usually one to get over relationships pretty quickly(as in a matter of a few weeks). A year before I met my ex, I decided that I wanted to join a reserve branch of the military, but I had a ton of weight to lose. I ended up meeting my ex and he happened to be a part of the same thing. So we spoke about it endlessly and he was such a huge motivator and help. In the two years since I have been wanting to do this, I lost 115 lb in order to accomplish this goal of mine. I have about 5 more lbs to lose to do this, but I am not as motivated before. What really excited me previously now just brings me pain. I know if I don't do it I will be kicking myself later on down the line. I will get over my ex, but it's tough right now. I need to separate him from what has been my goal for so long and something I worked tremendously hard to do. This post is not so much about looking for advice versus me venting, but advice is definitely welcomed. It has been a hard week emotionally. Thank you for reading this long post.
Mr. Disposable Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Hey, CJ. I wish I could give you advice, but the truth is that I'm not really any wiser than you in this particular scenario. Letting go of someone you love is hard. The first time we truly grieve a break up can hit us at any age. The details of your relationship aside, one thing stood out to me. You made a goal for yourself. You worked hard at it. You felt like this other person was a big part of your motivation for completing that goal. Those are all positive things. But please, don't give up on that goal. It's going to help you keep it together down the line. There are some things that you just shouldn't give up during a break up and working on that goal is one of them. The rest will sort itself out with time and kindness to yourself. Hang tough. We're here for you.
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