Cooper04 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Been 12 days since my relationship ended and I'm trying my best to move on. Still, every moment I spend alone I seem to be thinking about her. Tomorrow I'm going to a birthday party. The birthday girl is a close friend and confidante and knows about the breakup, but the other guests don't. About 10 people will be there, I would classify them all as friends of mine. My ex's absence will be noticed and people are sure to ask, and I'm not sure what to tell them.. I don't want to spend the evening talking about or thinking about her, as being distracted by something else is my main motivation for going in the first place. When is the right time to tell your friends, and how? Should I lie and pretend we're still together to postpone the whole issue, or will that backfire on me later? Drop the party altogether?
Raina314 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Go to the party. If anyone asks, just be honest and tell them you're not together anymore. I've been there, you don't have to go into a whole lot of back story and you might be surprised at the kindness and sympathy people show you. Most of us have been through breakups and have some idea of how painful they are, so you might find that some people might actually try to cheer you up, which can be nice.
FlipMonkey Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I forced myself for the first couple of weeks after breaking up to go out there and still enjoy myself. People did ask, and I simply said that we had split up and it's a long story. For some people I would add that I will tell them the story another time. It's amazing how people will then do their upmost to avoid awkward conversations about the break-up and do their best to cheer you up. It's definitely worth being around good people like this as it will help the pain. The other thing that came out of it was all the offers from people to have a drink or catch-up sometime, or just say that they are there for me if I ever need to talk. Bottom line, if you feel up to going, don't worry about having to tell people - it will probably become a positive experience. 1
preraph Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Oh, this really won't be that hard. A lot of them probably heard through the grapevine already. All you need to do is put your best social self face-forward and appear to be totally enjoying yourself and mingling. Anyone tries to have a conversation about it, like, "Where's Ella?," say, "Oh, I thought everyone knew. We're not together anymore. Onward and upward!" Any further inquires, just say, "I'm here to have fun. Pick a different subject." After all, this is your coming out party! You are now free to roam. You WANT everyone to know you're now single. There will hopefully be a woman or two who will want to come around now that she knows you're single, so this is your chance to be on top of the world and take advantage of this social situation to let the world know you are free and also that you are fine and what's past is past. It will take a little discipline, but trust me when I say this is the best way. Done it many times. I had a flock of acquaintances come round once they heard of my breakups, some for support, some to try it.
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