RoseyLife Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 hello! it's been a while since i last posted... well i have a crush... i feel like i'm 16 again, lol.... and i don't know how to go about doing this.... everytime i walk into this store, i am smitten by this one emo guy who works there. he seems a little shy and i don't know how to tell if he's interested. i really want to get to know him better but don't know how. i am not the kind to ask a guy on a date, but how does a girl get a guy to do this, aka come out of his shell, and see if he really is interested ? and how could a girl be subtle about this? i've heard guys like mystery, and usually like being the ones doing the chase... but i am not about to let this one pass by! his manager seems pretty strict, and emo boy usually seems uptight about this, by the way... well what do you all think?
Author RoseyLife Posted June 14, 2005 Author Posted June 14, 2005 has anyone had this kind of experience before? liking someone who works in a store and approaching them or finding a way to get them to approach you? come on... i know this kind of thing happens any guys who work in stores and find a woman attractive and don't know how to approach her for fear of coming off "unprofessional" especially in front of a tight boss? or maybe out of some insecurity? what do you all think, any opinions or thoughts appreciated!
pedens001 Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 He may be afraid to make the first move out of fear you'll come back and say sexual harrassment...(Not to say that you would do that) and then he would lose his job which would not be good.. How uptight is his boss? like do this do that blah blah blah or just talks to him in a manner like he's stupid?... I dunno where I work I see lots of good looking girls come and go...many have bf's and some dont' but I don't think I'd make a move just out of fear I'd lose my job... What kinda store is he workin in?...you should go in kinda on a slow day when he's there..try to get him to help you to look for something or get his opinion on it and then start askin him about himself or ask how long he's been working there..As for the uptight mgr I guess just try to be there when he's there but not her that will be your best bet cuz he'll probably act a bit differently when she's not there.. Feel free to PM for any help or what not..good luck
kellyp1 Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 I had a guy like this, worked in a liquor store. We flirted back and forth for awhile until I had a plan of action to ask him out. Funny thing is, he asked me out before I had the chance to enact my plan. Be careful though, after the fantasy of actually going on a date with him was fulfilled, I realized the fantasy was better for me then the reality (he is 6 years younger than I and mentally 10 years younger than I). We went on 4 dates and then both stopped calling each other. I have not stepped foot in the store since. Good luck though!
nicki Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 I also liked like a guy who worked in a store and wanted to go out with him. We ended up going out for about six months. I also didn't know how to get to that first date. What I did was go in the store a couple of times a week. I always smiled, chatted with him, asked his opinion about products, etc. After a few minutes, I told him how GREAT it was talking with him, smiled, walked away, looked back, usually caught him looking at me, smiled again. In an early conversation, I made sure I mentioned that I was single. (He later told me that he assumed I was with someone and was so glad I did this.) I also special ordered something in order to give him my phone number. I asked him to call me personally when it came in. That made it official store business to call me! And if he was interested, I knew he would keep my number...which he did... I also told him that i really liked talking with him and wished we could talk for longer sometime. Maybe we could go have coffee? Then I backed off and waited for him to make a move. I felt really forward doing this, but he didn't think so at all. He (eventually) called and asked me out. He said he never would have done so without a few signals from me... So, I say go for it! But do watch out for the fantasy thing. He may be a great guy, or not. Be sure to freshly assess him when you go out...
orta Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Have you tried walking up to your emo guy, and saying "Excuse me. When do you go on your break? I'd like to meet up with you" ? You don't have to worry about his boss, and neither does he. You, a customer, are asking a question of an employee. For all the boss knows you are asking about the merchandise or services. You will know if mister emo boy is interested. He will either tell you when he can meet you during his break, or he won't. If he's already taken a break, or is not working enough hours that day to get a break, he will either work around that or he won't. I think you will get an answer no matter what. I think the creepiest thing you can do is to keep going into his store, looking very obvious. Just go and talk to him. If you are direct, you have a better chance of actually finding out if something can happen between the two of you.
nicki Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Yeah, the direct approach may be the way to go with this guy....however, i've always been creeped out by guys who don't know me at all, come up to me and ask me out cold...that gets a big NO from me... BUT, if i saw them a few times in the same place, exchanged small talk, smiles, etc., i would say yes to an extension of that talking time by agreeing to go out....that's what the smart guys seem to do naturally...
Author RoseyLife Posted June 15, 2005 Author Posted June 15, 2005 hey wow thanks for your insights everyone!! after reading your wonderful thoughts on this subject... since i'm new to the area, i might just ask him if he goes to such-and-such university, and if he knows of any good hangout spots/interesting places around, since i'm new to town. unless that sounds too casual, and not enough to get the idea across that i'm interested there's just gotta be a way to get even the shyest guys in a comfortable position to ask a gal out... because although it's a good idea to ask for advice on merchandise (as some bright people mentioned ) he actually works at a womens/mens clothing store, so it might come off a little odd asking him for girls' advice!
pedens001 Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 If he works at a mens/women's clothing store check to see what section he actually works in....like if he is in the menswear ask for his opinion on something u wanna get your dad for father's day or something if its the women's section(doubt it but possible), then ask for his opinion on an outfit that you try on...tell him you need a guy's opinion then strike up a conversation with him... You said your new in this town well ask for directions to such and such place to eat at and then ask him if he'd like to meet u there when he gets off work ...I would suggest you do some major flirting with him if your not already...I work in a video store and I've seen this happen before with ppl and I think a few girls have done it to me..can't ever tell though if they are serious or just havin fun at it..I would definetely ask about if he goes to such and such school that would be a great conversation starter too would get him talking more and u would be able to gauge his interest a bit more... Hope that helps
ConfusedInOC Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by kellyp1 I had a guy like this, worked in a liquor store. We flirted back and forth for awhile until I had a plan of action to ask him out. Funny thing is, he asked me out before I had the chance to enact my plan. Be careful though, after the fantasy of actually going on a date with him was fulfilled, I realized the fantasy was better for me then the reality (he is 6 years younger than I and mentally 10 years younger than I). We went on 4 dates and then both stopped calling each other. I have not stepped foot in the store since. Good luck though! Kelly, which Liquor Store? You can PM if you want. I know OC pretty well.
Author RoseyLife Posted June 16, 2005 Author Posted June 16, 2005 hi pedens thanks for taking the time to give me good advice again you don't think it's too direct to ask him to meet me after work at some place? like oh i heard this place is really good but i don't know where it is, do you? and then if he doesn't, then just "well do you know of any other good places to eat" and then just ask him if he wants to meet me there? doesn't that seem desperate or something? if i was a guy i'd get pretty intimidated by a girl just asking me out like that... wouldn't you? then again, if i just do the casual conversation, he might take it just as that, face value-- casual. how does one show "just" enough interest?
nicki Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Maybe by asking him about the place, smiling and saying "We should go hang out there sometime. I'd really like to talk to you more outside the store" Then smile, be quiet and see if he takes the bait....In my experience, guys like to do the asking, even if you are really doing it...know what i mean? If he says "sure," then give him your phone number. You may feel like you are being obvious, but like the one poster said, a lot of girls might flirt with him. Let him know that you mean it. Be enthusiastic and upbeat...
pedens001 Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 I have to agree with what nicki said though me personally if a gal asked me out I'd be flattered cuz I know that it probably took her alot of guts to do it since most guys do the asking..One thing I would suggest you do if you aren't already whenever you see him call him by his name and smile at him too and maybe touch him... I know one time a few weeks ago when I was at work at the video store..I didn't have any customers in line and the girl I was checking movies out to just outta the blue asked me did I have to work until closing, which unfortunately I did..and by myself on a Friday night a busy nite too!..now I dunno if she was interested in more or just making conversation but for your case asking that question would be good so you know when he gets off OR...if he works during the day and its like maybe 10 or 11 and your talkin to him tell him that your hungry and you were wondering where a good place would be to eat say something about being a new girl in town and you don't know where alot of good places are but maybe a guy like him would and then give him a really good smile when you say that... If all goes correct after that his face should be red and I think if it is you should comment on it and then just say somethin like that is so cute and then say well why don't you come and eat with me and we can have more time to get to know each other then just standing around here talking.. Also when you flirt with him don't just smile at him be sure to reach out and touch his arm or something or as silly as this is just pretend to be brushing a piece of lint or something off the front of his shirt or his shoulder area and he'll probably get red then and just smile and pretend not to pick up on him turning red if he does... Hope this helps you some...nicki really hit home on alot of this so thats all I can really give you for now.. Keep us posted and your more than welcome to PM me for any help or just keep posting..
nicki Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 hey, i LIKE that touching idea...and joking with him about turning red! i'm gonna try it, too...
pedens001 Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Well Rosey what happened? did you go and talk to him?...just curious..
Author RoseyLife Posted June 18, 2005 Author Posted June 18, 2005 hi hi! glad to know you're interested! i really liked reading what you all had to say! well i haven't gone to his store all week, because i know he works sunday afternoons, soo i am thinking of stopping by then. maybe asking him if he knows of any good asian or indian restaurants around here (he looks sort of asian. i hope that doesn't make me look to stereotypical ) i mean... it's one thing that we have in common that's pretty obvious (i'm part asian too ) so that might be a conversation starter? and then just telling him how i'm new in town, and if he has a break, if he wouldn't mind showing me around? i don't want to flat out come out and say i want to get to know him better, because he might start thinking "well on what basis?" and think i'm shallow or whatnot... so far so good? ahh i am so nervous, i am not the stalkerish type and i sure hope i don't come off looking like it!!
pedens001 Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 Sounds like you've got it all figured out I think you'll do well...and no I don't think your coming off as a stalkerish type you just wanna get to know this guy better..and I really don't think he would see you as being shallow..I mean if this happened to me while I was at work I would be flattered I wouldn't take it as anything more than hey she's interested so what have I got to lose and I might end up having a lot of fun.. I don't see how you liking him cuz he's part asian and you are too..its simple a girl likes a guy race shouldn't matter if you asked me...so there should be no need to worry about sterotyping anybody...I dunno if I would use that as a conversation starter though..stick to askin him about his job or stuff like ask him how long has he been doin this..ask him sorta open ended questions but not too many you wanna save them for when you two meet up later on you'll need that for more conversation starters and to get him to talk to you more.. Like I said I really don't see how he could view you wanting to get to know him as being shallow..your wanting him to perhaps show you around town me, I would be thrilled cuz I would think wow this girl is brand new here and out of all the guys she could have she wants ME to show her around town..I'd be a fool to pass that up.. If you go in there flirt with confidence and just bite your tongue and say what you wanna say ....all your asking him is if he wants to show you around town since your new here.. Good Luck I think your gonna do fine and Im sure the other posters who've kept up advice will also be able to give you some more good tips you can use before sunday...but be sure to let us know how it goes...
Author RoseyLife Posted June 19, 2005 Author Posted June 19, 2005 lol, wellll i dress up nice, and go to the store, browse around for a couple hours, but he didn't seem to be working! i'm a little disappointed especially since i got all ready for this so he doesn't work normal hours... i guess i will stop by the store more often, and hope that his co-workers don't think i'm nutty! that, or just ask his co-workers about him....? or maybe that would not be a good idea... pedens my guiding light what do you think? any other insight appreciated, too!
pedens001 Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Well I hate he wasn't there but here's what I suggest you do...go in there and simply ask one of the employees "hey do you know when so and so is here?" and if they ask why just tell them that you needed to speak with him about something he sold you the other day like a tie or something...Don't call the store and ask if he's there though cuz if his manager answers the phone that could be a problem and you don't wanna get him in trouble thats not gonna look good.. But I would definetely go in and ask them when he's there again, I mean their not gonna think anything of it especially if you go with the line I just gave you, needing to talk to him about somethin he sold you they really won't think anything of it and just tell u when he's there again ..I know how it is working off the wall hours there are times where Im at work 3 days straight and then off for 4 days and they always switch up unless I ask for a day in advance... Good luck
Author RoseyLife Posted June 20, 2005 Author Posted June 20, 2005 hey pedens thanks again! thing is, i don't know his name would it be too weird if i just described him, to a fellow employee?
pedens001 Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 You don't know his name?...does he not have to wear like a name tag or somethin at work saying what his name is..if you so you shoulda caught a look at that but if not its no problem..I would go in and describe him just be sure and mention like the day and time of day so they'll remember..and if they start questioning why your doin this just say you need to talk to him about somethin you were buying or gonna buy.... Also if you've bought anything there and he rung you up, check your reciept alot of times the employee's name or comp ID which in some cases is their name will be printed on there..check that before hand it might save u the trouble...and be sure and call him by his name the next time you see him and be sure to smile.. Good Luck keep us posted...
Author RoseyLife Posted June 20, 2005 Author Posted June 20, 2005 none of them have names on their ID badges unfortunately! but that would have been a good idea! so i think i may just come out and say the truth, that i want to know his name & i think he's cute, when is he working next time... i'll probably tell this to a fellow guy co-worker of his... whichever sex may be more sympathetic my friends are saying that it's illegal to ask about his work schedule, or illegal for his co-workers to give out his schedule... it's like some privacy act or something? hmm....
pedens001 Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 hmm..i've nvr heard of that about the schedulin stuff but your friends may very well be right and Im sure another poster could back that up so I think your new plan is good..None of them have their names on their ID badges huh...I wish I didn't have to wear mine at my job...oh well Just go in and say I am looking for a guy that works here then describe him and then just say whats his name I've been wanting to talk to him but didn't know and when's the next time he'll be here so I could possibly drop by and talk to him... What would really be funny Rosey is if you go in to do this and he's working haha oh man.. Good Luck and keep us posted on here...
Author RoseyLife Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 update! so i went in the store today and told one of his coworkers i was looking for a guy & described him. she told me his name, and told me when he worked really casually, i didn't even have to ask! unfortunately he usually works early afternoons, which is when i am usually working... i might try to get off earlier and catch him? hmm i wonder if she'll tell him a girl was looking for him! if a coworker told you a girl was looking for you, how'd you react? would you ask if she was cute?
pedens001 Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 I dunno how I'd react Rosey...I'd be excited wondering who it is and what she looks like..I wouldn't out and out ask if she was cute..I don't think that would be right..though you can bet I would be askin lots of questions..what did she want? when?, what did she say? stuff like that... Hope your able to get off work early, was nice of that girl working to let u know when he works again...she probably knew why you were asking for him so she figured she'd help you out which was very nice of her... Now u gotta go there when he's working and talk to him...keep us posted
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