road Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Many times I read about people having problems finding a good man/woman to date. I think most of the time it is the complainers fault for lack of success. Such as when a woman asks a bunch of qualifying questions. The man responds quickly. The man is concerned that maybe the woman is losing interest so he asks a question in hopes saving this relationship before it even gets started. The woman's response was hours later. Lame excuse after lame excuse to why they leave the man hanging in the wind to not be prompt in responding back. Example: from time to time I have done some women's work AKA cooking diner so I know there is always the time to squeeze in ten seconds to send a text. Better yet to use that 21st century device, drum roll, the speaker phone and talk and cook at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking too. Respect and manners are a two way street. Time for middle aged men and women to face reality. The reality is that finding a mate that is a 10 and has no baggage is never going to happen. First all of those people got snatched up years ago. Think of it in terms of buying a car/truck. You can't afford new. You want a car/truck. You get the best deal you can on a used one. You decide what are your most important needs. Decide what you can live with and what you can live without. You really want low mileage and need a lot of interior space. The only low mileage auto's you can afford are sub compacts. The only large auto's you can afford are high mileage Suburbans. Now some will make the mistake and buy a full sized sedan with mid mileage and mid sized interior space. They will never be happy. They never got the low mileage nor all the interior space they wanted. So then go for the mileage or space? I say get the Suburban for you can ignore the odometer and not pay attention to the mileage. However you can never ignore the lack of interior space. Interior space can be used. The mileage is something that can never be used. You see every thing can not be a deal breaker. More so when you are just an average person. Next problem is over using and misusing technology to date. How? It is one thing to find someone online to contact. People are replacing actual going out and getting to know people with "Pre Date Courting" through the internet and other forms of technology. I see too many women on LS being super critical making men walk a mine field of worthiness tests before they even go from text to live phone calls. When a BS comes on LS and says I think something is wrong with his WS and tells what is going on. We all reply can't you see all the red flags your WS is cheating. Trust your gut your gut is never wrong. Well to the single women here I say go back to the days of your mom's and if needed your grandma's and trust your gut. Give a man a shot. Give a man a shot does not mean you have to give all a shot. Just the ones you feel potential. Though keep in mind that if you keep getting jerks that maybe it is time to reconsider the kind of men you are willing to date. Texting is not dating. Texting does not show will a man honk on his horn for you to come out instead on knocking on your door when picking you up on your date. Texting does not show will the man open the car door for you. Texting does not show will the man remember to walk between you and the curb. Texting does not show will the man open the door for you when you enter the restaurant. Texting does not show that a man will do all the things that he is supposed to do when he is courting a woman. Texting does not show a man how he acts in a variety of settings. Yet women will used texting to decide everything. When there are many good men out there that are not good with writing. And for the men out there struggling to get a date. In life I have seen it be a numbers game and fear of getting rejected. Average men get more no's then yes'. So get out there and ask. It is the only way to get a yes.
Toodaloo Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Wow road. You do not like texting at all do you... I concur with much of what you have said though. I have spent the past few weeks off of On Line Dating. I am soooo much happier! I am also meeting the same number of men as I was On Line but the difference is that now I can just happily get to know them and spend time with them in a social setting and go from there. Much safer, much friendlier, much more fun! I will not rule out OLD, but then I have always seen it as a tool to meet people and nothing more. If the right people are not on there at the moment I see no point in bothering to waste my time with it when I could be doing something more fun and productive. I have found with OLD that it goes in waves. You meet some lovely people then it goes dead and you end up getting the abuse etc for a while, then you meet some great people, then back to the dregs of society again! I actually do not like to text all that much. I prefer to talk. I also don't want to be texting while cooking and cleaning my house because lets face it those are chores and I want the initial stages of getting to know a guy to be fun! I want to concentrate on him not checking my spelling and punctuation... I am also not attached to my phone and tend to leave it about the place. Unlike you though I am still holding out for my 10... Thing is I think the things that make up my 10 are different, having children or being divorced don't really count as anything on my score card...
losangelena Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Why do only women need this reminder? A man I met at a birthday party last week has texted me everyday since then, and has yet to ask me out, despite my leaving the door wide open for him. Shouldn't he just take a chance already? Surely, your texting lecture goes both ways. Also, cooking is "woman's work?"
Author road Posted March 11, 2016 Author Posted March 11, 2016 Why do only women need this reminder? A man I met at a birthday party last week has texted me everyday since then, and has yet to ask me out, despite my leaving the door wide open for him. Shouldn't he just take a chance already? Surely, your texting lecture goes both ways. Also, cooking is "woman's work?" Your first question: I was thinking of you when writing this thread (read between the lines/see below). Well I did make mention regarding men at the end. And yes it does go both ways. As to woman's work there are times I assume that the women here would be able to read in between the lines and see where I'm just poking fun. Should he take a chance already? You see this is my point. You both are hiding behind technology. If I remember your middle aged. You want a relationship. Chances are this man does not have the confidence to ask you out. So why not jump start this yourself. Tell him you do not want to spend time having a pen pal. If he would like to go out on date you all he has to is give a phone call. See you nudged him. You gave his confidence a boost. And the best part is he does not make a move then you just ignore his texts and move on to your next opportunity. Life if too short to waste time.
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