MidwestUSA Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 On your way out the door of this mess, report her to CPS, or whatever your equivalent of that is. You're basically an accessory. At least try to make right by the kid. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 You type paragraphs of crap about how she treats you, a pathetic mess of a man. And you devote one sentence to "she hurt her child". And then again " she doesn't love me boo hoo" FFS!!!! Stop coming here and posting about this mess of a relationship, report her to the police or psychiatrist or something. I don't think anybody cares about this crap anymore. Fix it. Fix yourself. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 She hurt her kid, and you did nothing? And you're only fixated on your own happiness? I can't deal with such self-centeredness anymore. You allowed her to hurt her child. No sympathy for you whatsoever. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Protec Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) Wait, back the truck up: She hurt her child? And you sat by and...watched? The both of you need help. How awful for that poor kid. It was accident. I was not nearby at the moment. I was downstairs and she was upstairs putting kids to sleep and they started fighting so she pulled them apart. Edited May 16, 2016 by Protec Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 It was accident. I was not nearby at the moment. I was downstairs and she was upstairs putting kids to sleep and they started fighting so she pulled them apart. How did she hurt her kid by pulling them apart and how did you witness her hurting her child "again" when you were downstairs and she was upstairs? In any case, you mentioned that she hurt her child "again". The fact that you said nothing then, and still say nothing now shows how submissive and weak you are , but most importantly, self-absorbed. Your only goal is to get this woman to validate you. Both of you -- dysfunctional. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Protec Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 How did she hurt her kid by pulling them apart and how did you witness her hurting her child "again" when you were downstairs and she was upstairs? In any case, you mentioned that she hurt her child "again". The fact that you said nothing then, and still say nothing now shows how submissive and weak you are , but most importantly, self-absorbed. Your only goal is to get this woman to validate you. Both of you -- dysfunctional. She accidentally scrached her kid with her nail, and heard the older kid yell "OW MOM!!! You scratched me!!!" It's not my job to raise her kids. And it's not like she beats em up. We talk about old school discipline here. I am thinking about sending a message to her mother about this. She is not well atm. She does not take all her medication etc. I just want her to be well. For herself and for the kids. i can always find a woman or not. But i want her to be well and want good for her kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) She accidentally scrached her kid with her nail, and heard the older kid yell "OW MOM!!! You scratched me!!!" It's not my job to raise her kids. And it's not like she beats em up. We talk about old school discipline here. I am thinking about sending a message to her mother about this. She is not well atm. She does not take all her medication etc. I just want her to be well. For herself and for the kids. i can always find a woman or not. But i want her to be well and want good for her kids. I think your story is fluid and changes to accommodate the tone of the board. It's hard to find credibility when you say she hurt her child AGAIN so it seems there's more to this than just this one scratch. Then you tone it down when you get negative responses that it was only a scratch. It's not your job to raise her kids but when you state that she's hurt her child AGAIN, then you have a responsibility as an adult to do the right thing when there is abuse going on in the household. Instead you waffle through your words. It's old school, it's discipline, she's not beating them, etc. Then how does she HURT them? The reason you can't and won't do anything about it is because that rocks your boat with her. You can't take the risk of ruining any chance you have with her. As to the bold -- there's a saying, "You can't pour from an empty cup." Best to take care of your own dysfunctions rather than focus elsewhere. Avoiding issues in your own life and shifting focus onto others is the easier thing to do. Edited May 17, 2016 by Zahara 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I think your story is fluid and changes to accommodate the tone of the board. It's hard to find credibility when you say she hurt her child AGAIN so it seems there's more to this than just this one scratch. Then you tone it down when you get negative responses that it was only a scratch. It's not your job to raise her kids but when you state that she's hurt her child AGAIN, then you have a responsibility as an adult to do the right thing when there is abuse going on in the household. Instead you waffle through your words. It's old school, it's discipline, she's not beating them, etc. Then how does she HURT them? The reason you can't and won't do anything about it is because that rocks your boat with her. You can't take the risk of ruining any chance you have with her. As to the bold -- there's a saying, "You can't pour from an empty cup." Best to take care of your own dysfunctions rather than focus elsewhere. Avoiding issues in your own life and shifting focus onto others is the easier thing to do. He is an enabler. That other half that stands by watching the abuser abuse 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I think OP is back-peddling on the child thing because he's delusional enough to think that the mom's mistreatment of HIM was the real newsworthy element; not an innocent child being hurt "again." It shouldn't be forgotten that the mother was supposedly at risk of losing custody of her children a while back. Each child has a different father, so it seemed unlikely then that this was an instance of a vengeful ex. This latest revelation only adds to the possibility that this woman isn't a fit mother. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne08 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 She accidentally scrached her kid with her nail, and heard the older kid yell "OW MOM!!! You scratched me!!!" It's not my job to raise her kids. And it's not like she beats em up. We talk about old school discipline here. I am thinking about sending a message to her mother about this. She is not well atm. She does not take all her medication etc. I just want her to be well. For herself and for the kids. i can always find a woman or not. But i want her to be well and want good for her kids. I want you to read the first part of what you said again. It doesn't make any sense from a logistical standpoint. It makes less sense when you consider what you posted before. You said yourself you weren't there. You were downstairs. How do you know she scratched the kid "accidentally"? By your own admission, you did not see it. You "heard" the kid yelling. And, as others have pointed out, the fact that you said this happened "again" makes it even more likely this wasn't an accident. You want to believe it was an accident just like you want to believe she loves you when she clearly doesn't. I'm not saying there was any child abuse here as that's a very serious allegation to levy against a woman I don't know. What I am saying is that your story, your description of her behavior and the past and your clarification on this incident don't make any sense when taken together. At the very least, in the interest of her children, there's cause for concern. Nothing is more important than the children here. Especially not your dysfunctional relationship with this woman. Saying she hurt her child and then later attempting to justify it by saying it's an accident or old school discipline is disgusting. Also, saying it's not your job to raise her children when you want to be in a relationship with her just reeks of immaturity from you. True, it's not your "job", but if you're in a relationship with a person who has custody of their children, at some point you are responsible for the well being of those children. You need to end this relationship, do right by those children and report this to the authorities if it needs reporting and then you need to grow up before you get into another relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) He won't, though, because even though he regularly reminds us that he is able to be single and happy, he's shown a remarkable ability to look past any red flags in the pursuit of being coupled up. OP, you have two threads about two relationships, each one spanning some 250+ posts each. You've received numerous responses about what you should do, both for the relationships and yourself. You haven't done anything. You're no better off as a person now than you were a year ago when you started the first thread. You refuse to actually work on yourself, opting instead to latch on to toxic people and then focus all of your attention on fixing them. Because as someone mentioned earlier, it's a lot easier to shift your problems on to someone else rather than work on them. [] I don't think anyone here is sympathetic to you or this relationship at this point. It was blatantly obvious what needed to be done weeks, maybe months ago. Instead of doing what needed to be done, you've done what you've always done: Remained a passive participant in your own life, relying on others to give you direction and purpose. Before, that was just kind of sad, but now, that indecisive behavior is making you an accessory to some pretty horrid behavior toward a defenseless person whose only sin is being the child of a woman ill-equipped to provide a safe environment for her children. Edited May 17, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator redacted insult ~6 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I went to look back for a post from you OP where you said that you didn't know who you should report her to and that also I you did report her you would never see her again. I can't find the post just now as so many have passed since I saw that or I would have quoted but what you said was most telling in that you have clearly thought about it. You as a responsible human being should report her to child welfare and also to animal rescue as she is clearly neglecting her pets but also, what you posted about not knowing who to report to makes me think you know exactly that she is mistreating her children. Or, are those children's and helpless animals lives less important to you than you hearing an 'I love you' and having your lunch made for you before you leave of a morning? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I went to look back for a post from you OP where you said that you didn't know who you should report her to and that also I you did report her you would never see her again. I can't find the post just now as so many have passed since I saw that or I would have quoted but what you said was most telling in that you have clearly thought about it. You as a responsible human being should report her to child welfare and also to animal rescue as she is clearly neglecting her pets but also, what you posted about not knowing who to report to makes me think you know exactly that she is mistreating her children. Or, are those children's and helpless animals lives less important to you than you hearing an 'I love you' and having your lunch made for you before you leave of a morning? Post #254, before it was edited. I had the same thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Post #254, before it was edited. I had the same thoughts. That's why I couldn't find it then. I've been reading but not posting very quick or much lately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Protec Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 I'm done here. All you do is make me feel worse. I don't need this kind of treatment. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I'm done here. All you do is make me feel worse. I don't need this kind of treatment. Neither do those children, nor those animals, please do something Protec! Please man!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 One final thing: you have no future with this woman. She doesn't love you. She doesn't even sound like she particularly likes you most of the time. Don't shield her from justice and put those kids in harm's way just to save something that is not worth saving and never was. Be a man. Just once. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
startinganew777 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 You are done because you came on here asking for advice, chose to ignore the advice, chose to ignore very important and reasonable questions but you aren't done with her after everything she has done to you or her kids?! Wow. I was bored at work today and this thread was def entertaining but very sad. I find this all hard to believe but if it is true, you are far from a decent human being if you continue on with this so called relationship and not report abuse of her children. She is not stable and no wonder she is in danger of getting them taken away from her!!! I'm sure her ex's know her more than you will ever know her. They had children with her. They probably want what is best for their kids. I can't believe you can't see that. But you are off in some kind of la la land because you guys have great sex. That is the ONLY positive thing I see coming from this. God, this is pathetic. All of it. You aren't done. You will probably be back on here complaining about how she didn't put a smiley face after her text and you are worried she is pushing you away. What a joke. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne08 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I'm done here. All you do is make me feel worse. I don't need this kind of treatment. Irony here is that this is what you should have told this woman weeks or months ago. Exactly word for word. I agree with everyone else. You have a moral responsibility now to help make this situation better for someone else. Namely, anyone else suffering abuse at her hands. Whether that's her children or her animals. Please report this behavior. Please think about the other innocent lives here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Looks like this thread has run its course. If the threadstarter would like more feedback, they can request we reopen it via the 'Alert Us' button on this post. Thanks. ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
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