flowerdarkness Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 It is very complicated and even more now. I will start my story with saying that I recently got out of an emotional and mental abusive relationship that lasts four years. However, in the meantime I had a good friend that used to talk to him for about a year and half. We continued talking till one night I invited him over and we end up having a magnificent love making night. Right after the fact, I felt that my emotions are getting attached and I start to freak out a lot, I didn't want to be in love now, I didn't want to be hurt again, I basically associated love with hurt from too much abusive in the past. When I freaked out, I texted him saying " I think what we did was a mistake, I feel like a mess I cant do emotions now and we should be as we were before or something but not this". He freaked out on me great deal, start to trigger some anger with him telling me that " I have layers of fears, doubt and unresolved emotions and I am not stable at all and confused" At first, I agreed and was like thanks for understanding, I text him after two days and then the drama started because he said " please, back off" I couldn't handle being treated this way again so I know it was my mistake, I didn't back off for a month, doing all kinda stuff from blaming, accusation to pleading then again sad... however, he end up saying " we will never talk again or see me again and move on let it go " I could accept it for some reason.... I continued pleading for him to give me a chance to communicate but he contentiously refused. we went back and forth for a month, till he decided to block me then unblocked me again then block me again now saying " I am sick, not normal and crazy and I need professional help" I felt terrible hearing this from someone who I have been so open with.... I feel terrible because I feel that I didn't act right either, I was all over the place and he was all I wanted in a man.... it is crazy that whatever I was looking for before, it was all front of my eyes ( him) now I am lost... I dont know what to do aside from crying myself to sleep dying with regrets for my crazy actions. I know I lost him but I am so tired emotionally to deal with this all over again. I am not sure how to have him back, I miss his presence terribly... Any advise will be so very much appreciated.
howwie324 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Right now you're sounding needy. Most of the time, us men, are pretty forgiving of women. My advice, if you really want him back is to show him you aren't needy. Don't contact him for at least a month, but 60 - 90 days would be better. Work on yourself. Exercise, set goals to work for, find some constructive hobbies, lean on other friends and support that you have and get yourself in to a position that he won't see you as some crazy, needy girl. Then begin to slowly work yourself back in to his life as a friend and see how it goes. 1
DevotedBaker54 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I'm sorry you're going through all this! It's tough when you are honest with someone about your feelings and they don't react in a good manner. Have you considered giving him some space like he has asked? Maybe if you just give him some time to think things over and forgive he'll want you back in his life. Sometimes people just need to be left alone to figure things out in their mind. Have you considered getting counseling for the abuse? I know its uncomfortable but it really does help and maybe will change your mindset about future relationships. Whatever you decide to do I wish you the best! 1
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