Op17 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Even when a relationship ends and time has passed there will always be feelings or love still there for that other person. It's really difficult to completely move on when you still have feelings for that other person but can't express them because they've already moved on with someone else; and that forces you to bottle up all those emotions possibly for the rest of your life. What makes it worst is in some cases, when you actually do share those bottled up feelings, the other person doesn't care and doesn't even acknowledge them; which still leaves you feeling like s**t. So my question to people who've been down this road is: How do you carry the lifetime burden of having to bottle your emotions and not fully be able to express yourself?
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 You don't. Never bottle up your emotions. Express yourself. The other person doesn't need to hear you & the will never understand you but you still get to express your perspective. Closure comes from within not from the person who broke your heart. 9
Ellie35 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Your head will be wrecked with all the unanswered questions, thoughts and scenarios will whirl around in your head and memories will torment you. Write them all down and join a gym or exercise because when you are going through this stage you may as well get fit. Time brings closure and like a previous poster said it comes from you. Thoughts lessen and memories fade and suddenly clarity appears and you begin to see things from a new perspective . Time heals, you won't always feel like this but look on this time as a time where you can learn so much about yourself. 5
jen1447 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Even when a relationship ends and time has passed there will always be feelings or love still there for that other person. It's really difficult to completely move on when you still have feelings for that other person but can't express them because they've already moved on with someone else; and that forces you to bottle up all those emotions possibly for the rest of your life. What makes it worst is in some cases, when you actually do share those bottled up feelings, the other person doesn't care and doesn't even acknowledge them; which still leaves you feeling like s**t. So my question to people who've been down this road is: How do you carry the lifetime burden of having to bottle your emotions and not fully be able to express yourself? No good answer unfortunately. I'm very familiar w/the need to interact w/that person as the only legit remedy ....but many times you'll just never get it. I guess the consolation is that life goes on anyway and time will make you forget and lessen the immediacy of it all to some extent. 2
losangelena Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 You learn to get comfortable with uncertainty. 4
duncsvoice Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 When my ex (before this one) broke up with me, I thought my world ended, never meet anyone else etc...eight months later she popped up on my Facebook through a mutual friend with her new boyfriend. I felt "meh". I'd moved on, my feelings of love and betrayal and confusion turned in to indifference. 1
sorano Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 6 weeks out I'm doing awesome. Everyday gets better. I'm already talking to three women on sites. I'm making myself better. My ex didn't deserve me so I am moving on to someone that is better than her. I don't associate with evil people that lie or fake ass people. On e you come to terms with that and know she or he wasn't the right person, you will say damn, I dodged a bullet and it will all click from there 2
whichwayisup Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Even when a relationship ends and time has passed there will always be feelings or love still there for that other person. It's really difficult to completely move on when you still have feelings for that other person but can't express them because they've already moved on with someone else; and that forces you to bottle up all those emotions possibly for the rest of your life. What makes it worst is in some cases, when you actually do share those bottled up feelings, the other person doesn't care and doesn't even acknowledge them; which still leaves you feeling like s**t. So my question to people who've been down this road is: How do you carry the lifetime burden of having to bottle your emotions and not fully be able to express yourself? Get a journal and write out your feelings. You write letters to the ex (but never send them) for therapeutic reasons, it'll make you feel lighter and help make your own closure because really, YOUR truth is your truth and no ex can give you the closure you want or expect. Other option is, seeking counseling to help work through the pain and so you can grieve in a healthy way and come out stronger and wiser. 1
Joebloggs91 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 I'm 5 weeks post break up. Feelings come and go. But what is holding me back is the unanswered questions. I'll be fine, until I think back to a particular memory we had together. Can't shift it from my head, then it triggers the why why why questions. It was a complete 180. Out of the blue, she didn't want it anymore, all got to serious apparently. I go to the gym as much as time allows me, that helps. Got promoted at work which will mean I'll be working in a different town which will also help. Also booked a holiday to Mexico with a friend. That will also help. What's holding me back is this eating away at me at the back of mind. Just when I think I'm over her, it all comes flooding back again. i hate being by myself still. I need somewhere there to shift my mind away from it. Come on time, heal me!!
JuanDelToro Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 (edited) I'm 5 weeks post break up. Feelings come and go. But what is holding me back is the unanswered questions. I'll be fine, until I think back to a particular memory we had together. Can't shift it from my head, then it triggers the why why why questions. It was a complete 180. Out of the blue, she didn't want it anymore, all got to serious apparently. I go to the gym as much as time allows me, that helps. Got promoted at work which will mean I'll be working in a different town which will also help. Also booked a holiday to Mexico with a friend. That will also help. What's holding me back is this eating away at me at the back of mind. Just when I think I'm over her, it all comes flooding back again. i hate being by myself still. I need somewhere there to shift my mind away from it. Come on time, heal me!! You should pat yourself on the back, you`re doing excellent, you just need to see it for yourself. Don`t fight back the memories trying to push them out of your system. They`re memories instilled with emotions and the more you push them back, kicking yourself for having them, the more they will keep coming back while remaining unresolved. A good method you can apply is to set a specific time every day, during which you`ll let these memories come and flow through you freely, with no judgement on yourself whatsoever. Accept any emotion and all the question marks that come along. Make sure to appoint enough time for the memory to complete its circle (meaning, from coming in strong with all guns blazing, until it starts to fade away). After the time is over, the memory is not welcome again for the rest of the day. Do this for a while until you feel comfortable to cut back on the time allowed (say for example from 20 min to 15). Soon enough you`ll find yourself gradually detaching from, not the memory itself, but from the accompanied emotions. In good time, indifference will take over and the memories will be just images of the past. Edited April 12, 2016 by JuanDelToro
smudge21 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Once you fully heal, totally 100% heal, you accept that in reality you never needed closure and the questions you had would never have been properly answered by that person who turned around and left you. It's a harsh truth but when you heal, you'll understand it. You simply won't care anymore. You'll be free and happy, moving on to something better. The past will be the past.
elaine567 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 How do you carry the lifetime burden of having to bottle your emotions and not fully be able to express yourself? You don't carry any "lifetime burdens", you move on, you don't care any more, Looking back, it all becomes the past and you let it go. The truth is, that what all seems dark and catastrophic and hopeless when you are going through it, seems so much less, insignificant or even melodramatic when you look at it dispassionately from out the other side. If after a sensible time passes and you find you cannot let it go, or refuse to let it go, then you need help. 1
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