A shift in your vibes that can save your relationship/get an ex back

[ilovemefirst]

Hi Guys,

 

I wanted to share something i read online:

 

If you’re spending a lot of time and energy thinking about a guy, you might be alarmed to hear that it makes you less attractive…even if he doesn’t even know you’re thinking about him! Here, Rori Raye shares a simple Tool that shifts you out of over-thinking and makes HIM start thinking about you.

 

If you’re at all like me, a predictable thing happens to you when you start dating a new man you like. At first, you’re all excited, there’s a spring in your step, and you feel all aglow. People ask you what you’ve done differently.

 

But then, as you get to know him and become even more interested and invested in him, something else happens. You start to think about him all the time, you begin to worry that you might mess things up, and you’re constantly wondering what he’s thinking about you. You talk about him with all of your friends, dissecting his every move. But there’s no harm in it, because he knows nothing about this – right? Wrong.

 

OVER-THINKING CHANGES YOUR VIBE

 

When you think about a man too much, several things happen. Emotionally, you become drained from all the analyzing. You have less energy for the other things in your life – the passions and people that made you the person he was attracted to in the first place.

 

At the same time, your self-esteem goes down. Why? Because you start hanging your self worth on whether or not things will work out with this one guy. You go from the carefree, spirited woman you are to a fearful, worrying creature. And it shows. Believe it or not, a man can sense when you’re doing all this internal acrobatics about him. Your thoughts affect your feelings and your mood.

 

But telling yourself to stop thinking about him isn’t so easy. You need a two-pronged approach: a way to stop yourself from focusing all your attention on one man too soon…and a Tool to boost your self-esteem so that you’re being your most attractive you.

 

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T STOP DATING

 

Once you’ve found a man you think is a potential keeper, it’s tempting to clear out your calendar for him and not even consider other dates. But this is exactly what makes you become fearful and worried about whether he’s going to call and what’s going to happen next. Result: you can’t stop thinking about him, and he’ll pick up on the fact that you’re hinging on his every move.

 

That’s why you absolutely need to keep connecting with other men and going out on dates with them. When you do, you’re immediately taking the pressure off both you and the guys you’re seeing. It will stop you from over-thinking about any one man, which means you won’t have that clingy, fearful, unattractive vibe I talked about before. The fact that you’re on eHarmony means you have a fantastic Tool at your disposal to keep yourself from prematurely cutting off your options. Use it!

 

THINK OF YOURSELF AS THE PRIZE

 

Often, and especially when we meet a man we think could really be “it,” something inside us immediately starts to sabotage it. It’s what I like to call the “nasty voice,” and I’m sure you’re familiar with it – it’s that negative-thinking part of you that says you aren’t good enough to have all the love you deserve from a truly wonderful man.

 

Well, you do. And since I like visual Tools, I want you to think of your favorite dish. Let’s say it’s chocolate cheesecake. Think of everything you love about chocolate cheesecake and what makes it so wonderful. Who wouldn’t want a piece of that? Same goes for you. Now, whenever you are feeling overcome by feelings of inadequacy, I want you to immediately think of that dessert and say to yourself, “I am the chocolate cheesecake!”

 

I know this sounds silly, but believe me – it works. It’s so silly, that it will instantly lighten your mood and hence your vibe, so that you really do loosen up and become instantly more attractive. It’s similar to what happens when you’re walking down the street and you’re remembering that great kiss you had with your guy. Instantly, a smile washes over your face and people want to know: “What did you do differently?”

 

 

There are specific things you can do to raise your self-esteem that will make you irresistible to a man. To learn more. subscribe to Rori’s free relationship advice e-newsletter. You’ll discover a whole new way of relating to men that will make you feel better about yourself while you find the relationship of your dreams.

 

 

This really resonated with me, and it was so hard to explain to others that this is how i started implementing in my relationships. I was once needy/clingy/hopeless..i did not know how to fix my relationships, until i decided to let go. Of course when i let go, i started focusin on me, and he started coming closer. It was a major shift that turned tables. I no longer wanted him back, because i loved the person i was without him.

This doesnt have to be this way for everyone, but we must learn that when someone backs off, we must look at it that we may be putting presure on them by just overthinking.

 

I hope this post opens everyones eyes, that the best way to have a healthy relationship is not to ever lose yourself. We should NEVER put our partner on a pedestal. WE are on the pedestal..if you love yourself, then only someone else can love you.

[d0nnivain]

THINK OF YOURSELF AS THE PRIZE

 

 

I agree with this. You have to love yourself 1st. Until you are a whole balanced person you will be clingy if you think somebody else will make you happy.

 

 

The power of positive thinking (a/k/a fake it 'til you make it) works!

[ilovemefirst]

I agree with this. You have to love yourself 1st. Until you are a whole balanced person you will be clingy if you think somebody else will make you happy.

 

 

The power of positive thinking (a/k/a fake it 'til you make it) works!

 

Def! I had to share this, because i read so many posts that make me cringe.

Dont get me wrong, i was once a clingy gf, and a clingier ex ( if thats even a word)..but i learnt alot from that experience. I guess even though he hurt me, i am grateful because i am alot stronger today. I want everyone to open their eyes to this, its very important to love yourself first.

[The_Dork_Lard]

We should NEVER put our partner on a pedestal. WE are on the pedestal.

 

... and yet, we men are continually bombarded with messages not to put women on a pedestal.

[NoLeafClover]

Never stop dating men...wtf is that all about.

How about take some time and cope.

[ilovemefirst]

Never stop dating men...wtf is that all about.

How about take some time and cope.

 

I dont think you read it properly. Its for women who put all their eggs in one basket when they meet a guy...they suddenly cancel all dates with other guys because they are focused on one guy before they even get to know eachother properly. They dont mean, break up and start dating all the other men.

 

Get it right