Jose1 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Hello everyone I just need someone else's opinion because I blind to this. I started talking to this girl week after week she ask me different question like where do you go so fast or I never see you driving the same way as me. I was working one day I caught her staring at me she look away really fast and look left and right and then back at me and smiled. She always initiates the conversation; and one day out of every week she does not talk to me I'm so confused? She works at the same place I do.
preraph Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 It's always harder to tell with people at work because lots of people at work are being nice to all their coworkers in order to get ahead and have people like them. She has been the one to initiate, so she sounds friendly, but whether it's in the way you hope, no way to know except to ask her out. I think you should go talk to her next time and initiate just talking to her. Then maybe you bring donuts to work or something like that and share with her or sit by her at lunch or ask her to lunch. But you have to be careful because if she wasn't interested and you ask her out (or even tell her she looks pretty today) that can get you in trouble at work these days. So why not go talk to her next time and ask her "Are you from here originally?" and "Are you married?" "Got kids?" At least know the basics before you decide to ask her out. If you ask those questions, it shouldn't be crossing any line and you can see if she is anxious to talk or not that way. Good luck!
Author Jose1 Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 Will I've talk to her. I've got some issue I can't look at her face to face I blush and get to nervous. I'm meek how to get over this??
preraph Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Sometimes the best way to keep that from happening is resolve not to ask her out but to just be friendly and try to get comfortable with talking to her. Of course, do that too long, and you end up in the friendzone. Still, if you're really uncomfortable with her, why not ask out someone who doesn't make you nervous?
Author Jose1 Posted March 17, 2016 Author Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) I never been in relationship before and I've never been interested in someone before. I know I like her but I'm afraid of what if she says yes to liking me. I also think I'm second guessing her and think what if she is being nice to because she feels bad for me? Yesterday She offered to help me look for item I was looking for at work and I don't know what to make of it. I'm really sorry for giving you hard time with this. I'm so unfamiliar with this. I don't want to make her for feel uneasy by asking her the wrong question she is too nice of a person. Edited March 17, 2016 by Jose1 error
OneLov Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Dude you're waaaaaay over thinking this. Does she like you? I don't know? You have not provided enough information for anyone to make a fair and objective assessment of that. That being said, you're probably not going to like my answer. But IME, girls will let you know if they like you. Catching her staring at you in one particular instance tells us nothing. Maybe she thinks you're cute? Maybe you had toilet paper on the bottom of your shoe? My point is: she will let you know. But if you act apprehensive or tense around her that will only cause her to move on. Just be cool about it. If she flirts with you -- flirt back! If she blows cold then focus on something else. But whatever you do please do not mistake her behavior for anything but she may be interested in getting to know you. Don't get all Captain Creepo on her and mistake friendly flirtation for her communicating she believes you're soul mates and wants you to father her first born child. Play it cool.
oldshirt Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Will I've talk to her. I've got some issue I can't look at her face to face I blush and get to nervous. I'm meek how to get over this?? This is a separate issue and is the root of the problem here. You need to work on your interpersonal and social skills so that you are able to express yourself and able to pursue what you want. You may always be somewhat shy and introverted as those are components of your personality. But you absolutely can learned to express yourself and be more assertive with what you want. Shyness and introversion are often components of personality but expressiveness and assertiveness are learned skills. If you can express yourself and assert your wants and needs, you can make things happen even if you don't feel completely comfortable about it on the inside. 1
preraph Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Try not to think about the end game here. For the time being, just concentrate on being friendly and seeing if the more you talk to her, you relax more about it. Don't worry about if she likes you "that way" or not yet. Just work on getting comfortable talking to her. After all, you have to know someone to like them, really. 1
Author Jose1 Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 So I sat down and closed my eyes and reflected on everything. I've come to the understanding that I'm going to take this step by step. Its amazing after that I was able to speak to her clearly and confidently without getting nervous. You are right thanks for the help. 2
preraph Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Amazing what a little self-discipline and making a plan will do!
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