Really want to ask out my co worker..but afraid of the "work with her" issue

[Brady_to_Moss]

So i had a crush on this girl back in HS..i am talking 2005-07. She was 2 years younger than me. She lived in the town over from me and her older sister was in my grade.

 

Fast forward to 3 months ago. She's really close with my cousin and hangs out with her a lot. She also is semi close with my mother. They go to country concerts together with my couisn..have been to Nashville together even. My mother was txting when her about a concert and she mentioned that there was an opening at the company she works for and long story short she got me an interview and i got the job.

 

We never really talk at all up until 3 months ago. When i was txting her about the job ect and now that we work together we talk in the office..hang out every Thursday night at our companies happy hour after work with other co-workers and just drink and have fun. I know her oldest sister the best as she's really good friends with my cousin as well.

 

I would really like to get to know her alone or on a date..but afraid of the work connection in case things didn't work out since our 30 employees are so close as we always all go out together.

 

I was thinking about txting my cousin who sees her every now and then to maybe drop a line or two about me to get her take on it and she can report back. Would this be a good route to take?

 

Tomorrow i am going to see if she wants to head to lunch with me at work but i will word it as " i am headed to Panera..you want anything or you want to tag along?" type thing

Edited March 11, 2016 by Brady_to_Moss

[neowulf]

Just going to put one question to you;

 

If this all goes sideways, are you willing to leave your job?

 

or

 

If this goes side ways, can you both be grown ups and move on with a professional relationship?

 

As someone who's maintained healthy, friendly relationships with ex's, with enough maturity, you can both go back to being simply friends.

 

That said, no everyone is willing to or can.

 

Just remember what you're playing with here.

[Brady_to_Moss]

Just going to put one question to you;

 

If this all goes sideways, are you willing to leave your job?

 

or

 

If this goes side ways, can you both be grown ups and move on with a professional relationship?

 

As someone who's maintained healthy, friendly relationships with ex's, with enough maturity, you can both go back to being simply friends.

 

That said, no everyone is willing to or can.

 

Just remember what you're playing with here.

 

Oh if we mutually agree it isn't going to work and we just stay friends..i would be fine with it. Would suck at first but i would get over it. My last ex is not a friendship and i blocked her out of my life..but because she was cheating on me.

 

But if it went bad..i wouldn't leave my job.

 

She was telling the last week at the bar she was looking to move out west at the end of this year but she's not 100%. She likes her job ect and my position is actually one where if the client i am working with like me enough..i may get an offer for them in a year and i could change jobs. But nothing 100%

 

I mean she may not even want to date me..i really won't know until i ask or say go on a few work lunch dates and get a good vibe

Edited March 11, 2016 by Brady_to_Moss

[mortensorchid]

I have one suggestion for you that is summed up in three words : Don't do this. It is too dangerous to make friends with let alone attempt to date anyone you work with. I learned these things the hard way, don't be one of them.

[Brady_to_Moss]

I have one suggestion for you that is summed up in three words : Don't do this. It is too dangerous to make friends with let alone attempt to date anyone you work with. I learned these things the hard way, don't be one of them.

 

Dangerous to make friends with coworkers?

[Tribble]

I have one suggestion for you that is summed up in three words : Don't do this. It is too dangerous to make friends with let alone attempt to date anyone you work with. I learned these things the hard way, don't be one of them.

 

Whole heartedly agree. It's dangerous. I'm one to take a risk with love and I've been burned more than once. Your post doesn't scream to me that you're in love with her, just mildly interested. Don't let it develop any further. Don't let it get to the point where you think the risk is worth it. When it works out (and I know it sometimes does), it is wonderful. That's why I took the risk, the rewards to me were worth it. But I was already too deep. I'd made friends with a co-worker and we fell into deeper feelings for each other and gave it a shot. Don't do that. If it doesn't work out, seeing your own hurt reflected in the eyes of another every day is heart breaking. Every day. There is no possibility of NC. My colleagues are close too and we're a small company. Everyone witnesses your relationship and whether they approve or not, there are problems with either view. Find someone, anyone else.

[road]

I have known countless people that met their future wife/husband as co workers. Go for it.

[Brady_to_Moss]

I have known countless people that met their future wife/husband as co workers. Go for it.

 

See i know a good amount as well. So this is why i am torn. I mean i am going to give it another month or two to decided if i will go further with this or not. I will be hanging out with her plenty of times before this time to get a better sense of things.

 

She's showing me a guy down the street at lunch on Monday and we always go out as a company well 10 or so of us Thursday nights for drinks so we always talk them. I will just keep it to that

[Brady_to_Moss]

oops...double post

Edited March 13, 2016 by Brady_to_Moss

[deckard11]

Said it before and I'll say it again. Don't dip your pen in company ink.