Angeleyez2583 Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Ok so i told my ex this story of what happened to me Feeling Emotionally Raped because I am Jewish...(it's in the forums, so look it up :-) I'd give u all the link but I found LS over askjeeves) We're good friends now.. I'm over him completely... I have a new guy in my life, but we're not seriously dating or anything. Just hanging out and having fun.. I told him what happened with the whole racism thing.. he kinda laughed..he has supported me with a lot and we usually talk once a week for at least an hour about what's going on in our lives... This is UNCHARACTERISTIC OF HIM... Before I told him the whole situation with the racism thing, he spent 2 hours on the phone with me about my mom who will not go to the doctor and may have serious problems.. Also he has stopped by sometimes to talk about things and show my his brand new car and stuff.. he also said he wanted more then anything in the world to see me happy and find a new guy..... I told him I may have already found one \So when I ask him advice on IM about this new guy, he stops talking to me.. I called him today to get my tools back, told him the racism story, and he snickered.. I told him it really hurt me, and he goes.. why don't u get ur new bf to help u... we've agreed to be good friends.. he broke up with ME.. this is very uncharacteristic of him... what does everyone think.. the whole.. he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me situation?
Devildog Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Don't be silly. He still wants you, he just doesn't want only you. The plan was for him to explore other alternatives and if that didn't pan out he could always come back to you. The "friends" manuever is basically an attempt to be caring enough to keep the dumpee holding out hope that things will work out and you will get back together. And when that plan doesn't work out, i.e., you start dating someone else, the childish dumper throws a temper tantrum. This is what he is doing right now. If you would have been a good little spineless jellyfish and spent the rest of your life lonely and pining for him he wouldn't be acting this way.
miss-gonewest Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 what does everyone think.. the whole.. he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me situation? Maybe he just got a shock... whether or not he broke up with you, he will still need to time to adjust to you dating again... Try and put yourself in his shoes - and no offence fellers - but men do have bigger ego's than women... you have probably just dealt his a blow! Give him space for a few days to lick his wounds and see if he calms down and grows up. Don't think too much on this - it will pass.
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted June 14, 2005 Author Posted June 14, 2005 devil dog... i don't understand.. "he also said he wanted more then anything in the world to see me happy and find a new guy" aren't guys usually clear about things they say?
Devildog Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 People have a tendency to say what they are supposed to, even though they don't really mean it. "You deserve someone that will love you like you deserve to be loved" "It's not you, it's me" "I hope you find someone that will make you truly happy"
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted June 14, 2005 Author Posted June 14, 2005 Well he needs to let me know his true feelings.. the only reason he broke up with me was because of a drunken fight, and he can't be with me because he thinks I have this drinking problem.. but it makes sense to me devil dog... I think he's miserable right now cuz i have gone out and met all these new people and he's still stuck with the same people I've known since we started dating... i am over him, but we were really good friends for a while then he pulls this crapola.. Boys boys boys.. lol
miss-gonewest Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by Angeleyez2583 Well he needs to let me know his true feelings.. the only reason he broke up with me was because of a drunken fight, and he can't be with me because he thinks I have this drinking problem.. .. Boys boys boys.. lol Well, mine came round tonight, we split after a drunken fight, and not that I'm counting chickens before they hatch, but letting them see the situation in the cold light of day, may help some... I made more progress in an hour on the phone, then 4 months in a relationship. Time, space and stuff are worth a whole lot more when you give it to them.... unconditionally.
Sal Paradise Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Its almost impossible to be friends with an ex. One almost always wants the other to get back with them. Why are you suprised by his actions? This is the classic signs of a jealous ex. This is why you should have clean breaks with all exes. Its usually the females who push for the remain friends crap. And the guys who agree are usually the one's who want to hook back up at some point.
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