Jake200393 Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 Hi I've posted before I can't seem to link the past thread to this but ill give a brief description. Relationship of 3 and a bit years I'm 23 she's 19 Met she was a wild one and I helped her get into her studies. Great relationship She broke up with me one month and a bit ago. Blaming uni and stuff Feel heartbroken and suicidal Broke nc and have found out she's allready slept with someone and all that. I confess it's hard to take her of a pedestal as I think she's beautiful. Okay so that's a brief. I'm struggling to take her off her pedestal is a big problem as when I broke no contact and saw pictures of her it increased my post I've thoughts about her beauty and our relationship. I'm out of work which happened two days before she left. What had increased the hurt I guess. I'm starting the process of becoming a taxi driver in my local town in England. A problem I face is because she's at uni I feel like dog **** compared because okay you can earn good money driving a taxi if you put the hours in its just not glamorous. I really need support as I'm being put on new medication and I'm at an all time low please can someone just keep talking to me if it isn't to much to ask. Thank you
smudge21 Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 You're expecting miracles when it comes to healing and I'm sorry but the more you expect them to happen, the more you'll be held back and hurt. You've got to say to yourself every morning that yeah, you're hurting, you have every right to be, but you're not alone, all of us go through this and we all eventually heal from it, so you will too, in your own time. You can't force yourself to heal anymore than you can force yourself to fall in love. Also don't beat yourself up over putting someone on a pedestal, hell we all do that too. It's getting them off it that's the hard part, no matter how bad they turn out to be, they're still there, looking down at us. Once again though, that comes with healing. Once you start to recover from this wound, that pedestal will start crumbling around her until eventually she's gone from it. You will be better, just fight through it and stay strong. Finally, the suicide thoughts, no... no way... no one is worth giving up your life for. Right now you're at a low point, but that means there's high points on the way.
Chi townD Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 Okay, I think you learned a big lesson on the importance of NC. I'm glad that you're getting help and getting placed on meds to help you get through the tough times. But, when you're describing your life, it sounds like you're not happy with the direction its going. I mean, it sounds like you're going to become a taxi driver for the sake of having a job. So, you're out of work right now. Why not go to school yourself! Get a career and not a job! And if school isn't your thing, well there are career paths that don't require years and years of schooling to make some good money. IT techs can make anywhere between 38 to 50 thousand pounds. Paramedics make about 36,000. Police Officers make about 38,000. X-ray Technicians make about 31,000. Those are just examples of some jobs that don't require a lot of schooling with the highest pay out. Especially for a young single guy! And if you're in England, I KNOW you can claim benefits while you're going to school and even have them pay for your schooling! So, take advantage of it! Here's the rub, you have to seek out these opportunities. These opportunities aren't going to come to you, you have to go to them. So, do some research, think about a career path you want to take and then start asking some questions. No harm in asking some questions. You need to get motivated to start making some positive changes in your life. Is going back to school a scary thing? Of course it is! But, with motivation and determination, it can be done! And it won't take as long as you think! So, you need to let her go. And start focusing on the most important thing, and that's YOU!
Author Jake200393 Posted March 10, 2016 Author Posted March 10, 2016 Okay, I think you learned a big lesson on the importance of NC. I'm glad that you're getting help and getting placed on meds to help you get through the tough times. But, when you're describing your life, it sounds like you're not happy with the direction its going. I mean, it sounds like you're going to become a taxi driver for the sake of having a job. So, you're out of work right now. Why not go to school yourself! Get a career and not a job! And if school isn't your thing, well there are career paths that don't require years and years of schooling to make some good money. IT techs can make anywhere between 38 to 50 thousand pounds. Paramedics make about 36,000. Police Officers make about 38,000. X-ray Technicians make about 31,000. Those are just examples of some jobs that don't require a lot of schooling with the highest pay out. Especially for a young single guy! And if you're in England, I KNOW you can claim benefits while you're going to school and even have them pay for your schooling! So, take advantage of it! Here's the rub, you have to seek out these opportunities. These opportunities aren't going to come to you, you have to go to them. So, do some research, think about a career path you want to take and then start asking some questions. No harm in asking some questions. You need to get motivated to start making some positive changes in your life. Is going back to school a scary thing? Of course it is! But, with motivation and determination, it can be done! And it won't take as long as you think! So, you need to let her go. And start focusing on the most important thing, and that's YOU! Everything you'resaying is right. I've got no education (no gcses) and I've now committed to the taxi driving as they've paid for me to get my licence and take the tests. My game plan was to do this as Im a good driver earn as much as I can as I can work nearly all day everyday. Another problem is im gettingkicked out from my mother's in 3 weeks as she had to move for multiple reasons and can't afford me living there so I need to pay for a room to rent and stuff. I want to go travelling but can't do that without money. Have my heart set on Italy at the end of the year.
Chi townD Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 Everything you'resaying is right. I've got no education (no gcses) and I've now committed to the taxi driving as they've paid for me to get my licence and take the tests. My game plan was to do this as Im a good driver earn as much as I can as I can work nearly all day everyday. Another problem is im gettingkicked out from my mother's in 3 weeks as she had to move for multiple reasons and can't afford me living there so I need to pay for a room to rent and stuff. I want to go travelling but can't do that without money. Have my heart set on Italy at the end of the year. No one saying that you can't drive and study at the same time! I'm pretty sure that there are schools that will let you study and apply for your GCSE exams. And you'll probably have to drive for the company your with until you pay off the cost of them getting your licenses. So, you'll have to obligate some service to them for a while. But, you can still do other stuff! And as for money, well that will come in since you have a job. And I understand that you want to travel (which is awesome). Look at the Groupon website. You can get cheap holiday deals. Hell, I was curious and took a peek. You know that you can get a vacation package for Italy to tour Rome, Florence and Venice for 179 pounds for four days?!?! Again, you have to look, because deals aren't going to come to you, you need to go to them. I strongly encourage you to read the thread just started up by Michael93 "Light at the end of the Tunnel". He was kind of in the same boat as you and he turned his life around. Read it for some inspiration.
Author Jake200393 Posted March 11, 2016 Author Posted March 11, 2016 (edited) No one saying that you can't drive and study at the same time! I'm pretty sure that there are schools that will let you study and apply for your GCSE exams. And you'll probably have to drive for the company your with until you pay off the cost of them getting your licenses. So, you'll have to obligate some service to them for a while. But, you can still do other stuff! And as for money, well that will come in since you have a job. And I understand that you want to travel (which is awesome). Look at the Groupon website. You can get cheap holiday deals. Hell, I was curious and took a peek. You know that you can get a vacation package for Italy to tour Rome, Florence and Venice for 179 pounds for four days?!?! Again, you have to look, because deals aren't going to come to you, you need to go to them. I strongly encourage you to read the thread just started up by Michael93 "Light at the end of the Tunnel". He was kind of in the same boat as you and he turned his life around. Read it for some inspiration. Ye I read that thread yesterday. It seems like you yourself gave him some great advice. I definitely need to keep no contact. I've got rid of fb on my phone along with instragram and have to try and stay strong I guess. I woke up after a dream of her again what's not nice but I just have to except that I'm hurting and keep going. I am worried that apart of me is holding on. And I'm scared i havent Truley excepted it all yet. Edited March 11, 2016 by Jake200393
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