chesca210 Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 My ex broke up with me two weeks ago. Ive gotten the reason (my controlling attitude) under control (ironic, i know) and before he would tell me to give us up, but a few days ago i told him that i know he thinks i have no chance but i wont give up on us, n he said theres a chance. N i told him i really did love him n he said he loved me too. Recently i got a tattoo n i asked him if he still had his tattoo cream cuz my artist wasnt professional and didnt even put cream or wrap it, he said no, but i should have waited and he wouldve told me a better place. I thanked him for his advice on cream and asked him if it would be inappropriate of me to say "love ya", without me actually saying it, and then said "nvm, it most likely is" and he texted me back "love u too". I was in such a shock i just said "thank you". Does this look good for me? Do i have a shot at a second chance? And am i being paranoid by thinking he only said that because he thinks id wanna hear it.
basil67 Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 There may be another chance for you. But I'm dubious about you apparently having sorted out your controlling attitude in two weeks - and if he's wise, he will be dubious too. If it was this easy to change, why didn't you do it earlier? If he does come back, expect it to be a slow process because he will have to learn to trust that you're not a controller anymore. Your promise won't be good enough - he'll have to watch you for many months to be able to trust that you've changed.
Author chesca210 Posted March 10, 2016 Author Posted March 10, 2016 I was being "controlling" because i was worried about him, he ha a small temper and harsh words (never to me). N he has a small record and he cant get in trouble again and with his overprotective mom depending on me to keep him outta trouble i guess i went overboard trying to keep him outta trouble.
angel.eyes Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 Two weeks? This is bargaining, not fundamental change. So, the answer is no.
Cherryz Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 Dont know how old you are. But if you have certain issues in behavior, you cant give 1000 or not even 1 chance without doing things differently. Like getting serious help for YOURSELF first, and second to work on your relationship. If its a issue that is deeper then just liking peanut-butter instead of jelly on your bread, its good for you to work on it, rather your relationship will last or no. Because out of every relationship and situation you can get a lesson out of it. And better yourself for your own happiness and be better in your next relationship. Many times once people break up in the first stage of healing they start miss each other and go back or start hanging around to see if there is still something there. While there isnt. I think you are just looking for that one answer and probably will see it in anything that he may send you. I dont think he is that much into you like you want it to look like. Move on, and work on yourself. Some issues we have as person often have a deeper roots,(maybe childhood trauma, and so on). So the work we do to work ok that issues will only help yourself. Also once you better yourself there can be also a different choice in partners positively. And better self esteem. You can change bf everyday if you want. But if you keep those issues that are not healthy you will keep dealing with it by guys walking out because of it too. Means working on it is always good for yourself! Beside being controlling often have to do witha deep down fear of losing something.and so on.
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 I seriously doubt that you have reformed in 2 short weeks. It takes at least 30 days to start to even form a habit. Correcting a controlling personality will take months of work with a professional therapist. However, if you are willing to stop trying to be a combo of his mom, his parole officer & his conscious and just be his SO there is a change that you could have a relationship. The problem is you have no control over what happens next. Only he can decide if he wants to come back. Anything you do to try to persuade him to come back is evidence that you are still trying control him, which is what caused him to walk away.
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