Women who hide their beauty because they feel bad being so beautiful?

[losangelena]

I guess that's where the difference lies, but nevertheless it's something to work on.

 

For sure! And I feel bad (not in a condescending way, mind you) that you feel bad about comments like that! I agree that people can be mean and catty, but I think it's much more liberating to come to a place of being able to let stuff like that roll off your back. Life is so short! Why waste time worry about the comments of others?

[Gaeta]

I find it difficult not to be affected and I don't know why. They are strangers who don't matter, but some comments are so hurtful and mean that sometimes it's easier to just avoid them altogether than boast your sexiness and not care.

 

Like what comments?

[Lorenza]

Maybe my story will shed some light why some pretty women keep it simple (and the reason is not jealousy).

 

I've been always told by people that I'm beautiful and I lived up to that until I hit 20 years and got really bad acne because of hormonal wreck caused by immense stress and emotional pain. That is when I started hiding myself. I cut my hair short, stopped putting makeup, would wear jeans and sweatshirts all the time, lost weight and my womanly curves. People could still see the real me behind the blotches on my face, but my self-confidence was destroyed. Once beautiful and with radiant skin, having my face full with pimples was pretty brutal.

 

My skin condition taking 4 years of my life and it taught me to be humble about looks. My long hair, figure and radiance is back, but I'm still keeping my daily appearance super simple, no makeup, no fancy clothes. You could maybe say that I'm hiding, because I do know how I look all fixed, but I just don't want to put any emphasis on my looks. It's fragile and can be taken away any time. I rather focus on my skills and personality

[Hopeful30]

Losangelena and KatieGrl,

 

Thanks you guys I agree completely, it's a work in progress.

 

I'm more sensitive than I allow others to believe, and slight comments like that do get to me, and I agree they don't matter, so I don't understand why they affect me so much.

 

It may stem from my childhood. My mother was extremely abusive and always put me down. I was never good enough, so I suppose now as an adult, when I show true kindness and compassion, I get very hurt when it's reciprocated with hate and aggression (that's what I mean by inner beauty).

 

I would have to dig deep into my subconscious to figure some things out, but maybe my turbulent relationship with my mom could be why I am more affected by women than men (I could not live without my father, he is the best man in the world and I love him to pieces).

[Liam1]

Well, thank you for the link the article. It clarifies things.

 

I think being attractive and dressing too sexy are two different issues.

 

I don't think sexy clothing necessarily equates to beautiful, at least not in my male mind.

 

Still, I do think that woman, particularly plain women, will act catty toward a clearly beautiful woman.

Edited March 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[GemmaUK]

I never thought I was attractive and I certainly wasn't as a child and a teen.

 

But, once I got into my late teens and twenties - even into my thirties I never wore V-necked fitted tops.

My weight always fluctuated by 3-4st over those years - life was always easier the bigger I was in regard to the women who seem to have an issue.

Not all women do but some do. You get that head to toe and back again look, no smile, no compliment, not a word and you are the plague for the night/day/event.

If they have a partner then go forbid if you or he glance in each other's direction let alone speak for any innocent reason.

 

I have a few gorgeous dresses - summer maxi dresses but I get too much toxicity wearing them so I rarely ever do.

 

I work in a team where one of the women is simply gorgeous but she is not one to outwardly say anything about that.

One day a year or so ago I wore a normal work outfit and added one of those stretchy clip front belts. The look she gave me was enough for me to never wear that belt again. My waist is smaller than hers an she has been a cheerleader and gym bunny for years.

The same woman- her wedding - she proclaimed out loud that her male friend's gf had upstaged her. The lady in question did look great but by no means was upstaging the bride.

For her wedding day I was going to wear one of my lovely dresses but chose not to last minute. The bride complimented me as we were leaving saying that everyone loved me. I mingled, talked to her parents, her family and her parents friends.

 

Yes, women do downplay a lot -even the un beautiful ones do.

[Gaeta]

The science of why women are critical of attractive females - Blog - MyNorthwest.com

 

This link is not about beautiful women but about women dressing provocatively. Two completely different things. You used this article and made it about beautiful women when it's not.

Edited March 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Steering off-topic ~T

[kendahke]

What if it's not the looks that make their beauty? What if it's their personality or just the way you are?

 

Even more of a reason to not hide it. Again, if someone is allowing themselves to feel diminished and jealous, that's their problem to handle, not yours.

 

The answer is never to debase your own value because how far are you going to be willing to go to make someone who really doesn't matter to you feel better about their own dna lottery? The mature person understands there is always someone somewhere who is younger, prettier, skinnier, curvier, richer, etc., and there is nothing they can do to control that. If someone can't get a grip on themselves and work on the things they believe is impacting their own value, then that's their problem to deal with. The whole world can't change to accommodate them.

 

Some people see more beauty in that too, and that's what they choose to attack in you, whether you look good or not.

 

People don't attack you because they see beauty: they attack because they feel they lack; they do not believe themselves to be beautiful, unique and with something worthwhile to offer.

 

I suppose your answer goes in either case. It shouldn't matter what others think. I wish I was less affected, but it's a work in progress.

 

It will come to you as you get older... that is the beauty of time. IF by the age of 45 you cannot accept yourself and the gifts you were born with, you are going to end up a miserable, unhappy person who is never at peace and who no one wants to be around.

[elaine567]

The article is NOT about beautiful women the article is about a study where they gauged female reaction to a female dressed in "jeans, a t-shirt, ponytail, very little makeup" versus the reaction of females to a woman in a "short skirt, low-cut top, no ponytail, makeup and tall black boots."

 

The first female I guess had a neutral response as she was dressed in a pretty neutral way, whereas the second woman sounds a bit overdone, sexually provocative, deemed perhaps lower class and promiscuous, and thus elicited the response noted by the study.

Seems nothing to do with beauty per se.

[Leigh 87]

I am not beautiful but I am considered attractive.

 

Women are often horrible towards me.

 

I am slim with large 32 DD s and a clearly defined waist and slim thighs. The porn stat type body.

 

Women always say that my breasts are fake and that my lips look like they have collagen in them...... neither of which are true......

 

Their boyfriends often hit on me and when I try to tell them, they swear at me and damage my property.

 

Last time it happened was with my neighbor. Last year.

 

And I am not even beautiful or model like. I can only imagine how hard it is for THOSE women.

 

I do have 2 friends who have model good looks....

Wait. That's right. I only hwve 2 genuine female friends. And they are significantly hotter than me.

My other less hot female friend tried to shag my bf.......LOL.... And apparently told him that he was only with me because of my looks since I am a real bimbo according to her!

 

Do I play down my nice figure? Hell no! God I'll be old one day! Ima show it off and love every second of having a naturally hot bod without even having to est right or exercise at all!

[Leigh 87]

I heard one young woman saying to her bf " her lips look fake and come on, someone that slim sooooo doesn't have bib boobs"

 

She sounded jealous and insecure.

Her bf retorted with: " oh dear, she may be slim but look at her gut...( I am slim but very curvy and will ALWAYS have a curvy shaped stomach even if I were to starve myself.

I have had men point at me while next to their gfs and point out my apparently " gut" to them. LOL.

 

It honestly has no bearing on how " beautiful " I allow myself to appear! I ALWAYS naturally prefer to look good. In my clothes and minimal make up.

[Jabron1]

I've been working with a lot of females in these last couple of years. It's been eye opening, to say the least. Women are horrible to each other.

 

One job I had, was with a group of females (between the ages of 20 and 28) in a retail warehouse. It was the most stressful job I've ever had. The level of politics at play between these women made the job feel like game of thrones.

 

They were always competing with each other. At one point, the most beautiful girl got teamed up against by the others, who started getting downright cruel to her. However, she still had more power than them, because she could command the most male attention - which just made them hate her even more.

 

The other girls had orbiters too, to do stuff for them, and for security. There was one woman that was engaged to be married, but had this 18 year old lad following her about, and waiting outside to ride home with her each night. She used him for numbers, and to do the work she didn't want - he was never getting any in a million years

 

Nearly all of them, at one point or another, said to me in private 'this is why I would rather work with men'

 

I ended up having to play referee with these girls. They would try to make me take sides, but the sides changed all the time. I don't think I would have been able to tolerate for as long as I did if I didn't know game.

 

Towards the end of my contract, they offered me a new position as 'supervisor' of these women. I turned it down and left. The extra money wouldn't have covered the cost of the required therapy.

[Leigh 87]

The article is NOT about beautiful women the article is about a study where they gauged female reaction to a female dressed in "jeans, a t-shirt, ponytail, very little makeup" versus the reaction of females to a woman in a "short skirt, low-cut top, no ponytail, makeup and tall black boots."

 

The first female I guess had a neutral response as she was dressed in a pretty neutral way, whereas the second woman sounds a bit overdone, sexually provocative, deemed perhaps lower class and promiscuous, and thus elicited the response noted by the study.

Seems nothing to do with beauty per se.

 

Except I have had maaaaany females who were dead set jealous of my figure even when I wore jeans and dressed in a singlet.

 

They reacted by putting down my breasts as " fake" and accusing me of getting lip fillers. For no reason.

 

Their bfs had to calm them down and pointout that my stomach is curved just to make their insecure gfs feel less bad about their own bodies. .........

 

One guy even told me " yeah....with my gf, I love her natural lips.....no guy likes puffy lips" ( which I have). And why was he telling me this? Weirdo! He must have felt baD LOL cos he soon added " oh, sorry, I hopeI didn't offend you, you do have a lot going for you oook wise, I just personallly dislike puffy fake lips on women"

 

His biatch of a gf looked so peaved when he apologised for unnecessarily insulting me!

 

 

 

Maybe females are just nasty. Prob why I don't make many female friends.

 

What do they expect, for ne to wear dark coloured lipstick so that my fuller lips appear smaller? I am SO sure they would stop being nasty to me then snd be oh so pleasant! LOL...

[Summer3]

The extra money wouldn't have covered the cost of the required therapy.

 

LOL!

 

I've been shamed in real life and shamed online (when I had pictures posted) for being too sexy. Women can be really brutal to each other.

 

So maybe the article was about "sexy" women not so much "beautiful." But in the end it's the same. It's about female competition: The sexiest and most beautiful women get to pick the best males.

 

And that's the way it is because men are biologically driven to pick the mates they feel will produce the best off-spring.

 

This angers less attractive women...

 

Oh well.

[Leigh 87]

Every once in awhile I'll encounter a woman so naturally stunningly beautiful that I absolutely wouldn't blame her for wanting to go out of her way to downplay it. Beauty is a commodity in this culture, but it also comes with a lot of other stereotypes.

 

I'm not beautiful, but I'm reasonably attractive, good with clothes/hair/makeup, and also have really big natural boobs, especially for my frame. I find that I sometimes get stereotyped as either stupid or [promiscuous].... when I'm well educated, consider myself intellectual, and have NEVER slept around. I have definitely found myself frustrated at being treated this way before. So I wouldn't blame anyone for downplaying their looks, at all.

 

I totally relate. My boobs are big and I'm slim. But both men AND women regularly ask ( or just speculate) that they are surely fake.

 

It doesn't even mean we are beautiful or the like. I don't assume that this bitchy behaviour exhibited by women is because I am soooo good looking; I know I'm not. I HAVE truly stunning friends. I am not at their level.

 

I think other women get jealous of certain venerated attributes that other women have....

 

I am sure they don't act this way towards me because they think I am beautiful.

 

They are just insecure with their own bodies. Clearly. Happy women don't need to comment about other women's bodies unless it's positive.

 

So OP---- Don't assume it is your superior beauty that make women appear downright rude to you. In my case, I have a banging body but I am definitely not beautiful and women definitely aren't jealous of ME as a whole. They just want to be slimmer with bjgger boobs.

 

Women act nasty for these such reasons and not necessarily because you are beautiful per say.

[katiegrl]

Women act nasty for these such reasons and not necessarily because you are beautiful per say.

 

True dat!

 

I too have experienced this nastiness, especially at my previous law firm...however it never bothered me -- I just tried to avoid these ladies.

 

I think I said this earlier, but some women are just catty, gossipy and yes, jealous and insecure in general....

 

Combine that with not having a life (or a boring one)....and you're gonna have some nasty females to contend with.

 

Hopeful ...try to let it roll off.

 

Life is way too short than to be worrying about what some insecure petty females with low self esteem think of you!

[Leigh 87]

LOL!

 

I've been shamed in real life and shamed online (when I had pictures posted) for being too sexy. Women can be really brutal to each other.

 

So maybe the article was about "sexy" women not so much "beautiful." But in the end it's the same. It's about female competition: The sexiest and most beautiful women get to pick the best males.

 

And that's the way it is because men are biologically driven to pick the mates they feel will produce the best off-spring.

 

This angers less attractive women...

 

Oh well.

 

 

 

Exactly.

 

My bad treatment from many women is clearly not because I am a beauty. Because I am honestly far from beautiful in.. the world's eyes.

 

But you do have a fair point regarding the perceived threat. .....

 

I noticed a lot of women acted insecure and nasty towards ne when their bfs were present. They were all larger women.

 

So lol. I am sorry if I came across like I assume women are jealous of my beauty. My point was actually tp highlight that BIGGER.... Bigger women will often feel insecure when they are out with their bf abd spot thin girls like me with bjg boobs.

 

Because after all, we get all the male attention that plain women or larger women often lack and crave for..... doesn't make us oh so beautiful but it doesn't take much to make other women jealous.

 

Heck I feel like a troll standing nextto my stunning girlfriend when shopping with her. But I have no ill will or jealously. I am me and don't want her looks. Although I'd like a perfected version of MY looks:lmao:

[Leigh 87]

True dat!

 

I too have experienced this nastiness, especially at my previous law firm...however it never bothered me -- I just tried to avoid these ladies.

 

I think I said this earlier, but some women are just catty, gossipy and yes, jealous and insecure in general....

 

Combine that with not having a life (or a boring one)....and you're gonna have some nasty females to contend with.

 

Hopeful ...try to let it roll off.

 

Life is way too short than to be worrying about what some insecure petty females with low self esteem think of you!

 

 

 

Ppl in my podiatry degree assumed that I was a bimbo. Cos I am slim with large breasts and fuller lips and dress well. And CONSERVATIVELY.

 

Certain attributes come into play here. Look, it isn't cos I am oh so beautiful. It's the tits snd curves that I frankly shouldn't have to " hide " with baggy clothes.

 

And it gets psycho when women have their bfs hit on you and then destroy your property when the truth comes out. I hope this has never happened to you. Tbh I don't actually blame their bfs for wanting another woman; these women waste so much energy being nasty it's little wonder their bfs aren't in awe of them!

 

My own bf adores me all the more because of how kind I am to others.

 

Men appreciate feminine characteristics and traits such as warmth and being nurturing and kind to others and dressing feminine. They don't warm to catty behavior despite it being sucb a FEMALE thing!

[Aniela]

Threads like this always make girls feel they better come up with a "I'm so pretty" story lest the rest of the group think they be butt ugly.

 

 

I usually encounter women who don't see how attractive they are. I'm not pretty, but when an online friend (female, very pretty herself), called me "hot" I blushed. When I look at older pictures, I'm not stunning, but I didn't look as bad as I thought (or that I'd been led to believe, by young men and women alike, in the past).

 

My friend who was called "Barbie", also had a problem in the work place. A man was doing his best to cause trouble for her, and someone told her that he was in love with her. What?? Funny way to show love/affection.

 

I don't think all women are awful to each other. As someone who has been bullied, I remember seeing myself in video, and I had that "deer in headlights" look. There might be something to people in general, being rubbed the wrong way by insecurity.

[Lorenza]

I have never experienced hatred from other females because of my looks. Maybe because I am humble. To those of you who do feel jealousy and anger turned towards you - take a little look at how you act yourselves. I have met girls who enjoy the fact that someone's boyfriend hits on them. They feel superior, they feel empowered. Where's the solidarity to a fellow woman?

We have done nothing to deserve the bodies we got. Beauty will fade. It shouldn't matter as much as it does nowadays.

[Aniela]

*on video. Couldn't edit.

 

I've also had women's boyfriends hit on me. A few of them. I wasn't flattered.

[Leigh 87]

I have never experienced hatred from other females because of my looks. Maybe because I am humble. To those of you who do feel jealousy and anger turned towards you - take a little look at how you act yourselves. I have met girls who enjoy the fact that someone's boyfriend hits on them. They feel superior, they feel empowered. Where's the solidarity to a fellow woman?

We have done nothing to deserve the bodies we got. Beauty will fade. It shouldn't matter as much as it does nowadays.

 

 

 

I have to also add....

 

Most women love their attractive traits. The beautiful women I know relish their good looks andactually play their amazing looks UP.....I personally love being slim and curvy and 30. I wanna live life to the fullest and celebrate my body whilst I still have this body type. It could all end tomorrow.

 

Very few females are so good looking that they would need to play their looks DOWN. Usually, as in my examples, the women felt jealous of my body only and because they had crappy bfs who hit on me. I don't walk around and have negative or jealous reactions by lone females. Yes people tend to assume I am a bimbo because I am curvy and embrace a good lip balm and my boobs are unavoidable. But it isn't because of my looks per say.

 

Being attractive gives you more options in men and attractive women tend to have more people that like them because their good looks have more people who wantto include them and hence they become more affable wnd socially versed due to their good social life which is largely because good looking people gey handed more opportunities in life.

 

I am a realist. I am treated like I am attractive by society but I so know that I am a 7/10 WITH..... WITH great make up. And a 6/10 in my daily life. The fact I find myself attractive doesn't make me conceited. Just not humble either. I am glad that I have self love surrounding my looks.

 

I actually find it disgusting when women ENJOY other women's BOYFRIENDs, hitting on them......I love men to fancy me and pay me nice but appropriate compliments. Single men. Or else Icannot help but feel their gfs pain.

[Jabron1]

It's about female competition

 

That's exactly what it is.

 

I'll give an example of one these girls I worked with. Keep in mind that she was only one of eight

 

She was 28 years old and engaged. She was rather plain looking. She got the least attention from the men because of these two reasons. This really angered her.

 

So, she started upping her game. She started talking suggestively and sexually infront of the guys. That didn't work.

 

She then started using more make-up. That didn't work either.

 

Then, she started getting irate. She would make snappy comments like 'I am a girl you know!'.

 

Then, she started using her marriage as a weapon - a power play. Who would she invite from work? Naturally, the most beautiful girl there wasn't invited to the hen/batchelorette party

 

Until one day a new kid started an apprenticeship. He took an immediate liking to her, and she would lead him on. She was exploiting him for attention, and getting him to do the jobs that she didn't want.

 

She finally had an orbiter to call her own!

 

Women can deny it all they want. But male attention is the coin of the realm in girlworld. And, it is female competitiveness for that attention that drives most of this horrible behavior.

[Leigh 87]

It's unwinnable.

 

Women can either say that they, too, are beautiful and share their experiences... and sound conceited in doing so.

 

Or women can leave out any mention of their own looks and share what they observe... and be minimized for not having first-hand experience.

 

But you don't NEED to be BEAUTIFUL in order to suffer at the hands of bitter, jealous women!

 

Me and other posters have gone out of our WAY to mention that we are NOTbeautiful yet get the occasional catty woman.

 

Me and another poster even stipulated thatit was prob our small frame and ample bosom.

 

That's not conceit. That's just being honest. Non beauties suffer from jealous women who are lesser attractive than us.... doesn't make us beauties.

 

Being slim and hot is amazing. I love it personally. I have always had my pic of men and feel very worshipped for my figure. But I am not one lf those genuinely beautiful women who experience life as a well..beautiful women.

 

But my 2 female friends are beautiful. They enjoy it. They don't suffer issues over it. I suffer more because my breasts are out there and I amd curvy and outgoing with men despite being an introvert. I suffer MORE than my BEAUTIFUL friendd due to my PERSONALITY and big boobs.........

[serial muse]

It's unwinnable.

 

Women can either say that they, too, are beautiful and share their experiences... and sound conceited in doing so.

 

Or women can leave out any mention of their own looks and share what they observe... and be minimized for not having first-hand experience.

 

I totally agree with this. Upthread someone said caustically that women are now going to post their experiences about being attractive to prove that they are. But the comments -- not necessarily the OP, but the ensuing discussion -- is asking for that, and it's not OK to shut people down who haven't had the same experiences as less attractive. How is that not bullying?