Women who hide their beauty because they feel bad being so beautiful?

March 9, 2016

I was recently reading an article about female psychology and beauty. They mentioned in the article that a lot of beautiful women are ashamed of their beauty because they're been put down for it their whole life.

They are afraid to "shine" because they don't want to make other women feel bad, so they shrink themselves down to avoid competitive or jealous female rivalry.

Have any of you experienced this? It sounds a bit odd, but then again, women can be very mean and jealous so it doesn't seem far-fetched...

Edited March 9, 2016 by Hopeful30

March 9, 2016

I was recently reading a psychology article about female psychology and beauty. They mentioned in the article that a lot of beautiful women are ashamed of their beauty because they're been put down for it their whole life.

They are afraid to "shine" because they don't want to make other women feel bad, so they shrink themselves down to avoid competitive or jealous female rivalry.

Have any of you experienced this? It sounds a bit odd, but then again, women can be very mean and jealous so it doesn't seem far-fetched...

I'm not beautiful. I'm attractive. But sometimes I do have underplay my looks because women can get very mean if they get a sense that you do know you're more attractive than them. I've always wanted to be more beautiful so there isn't any shame but I need to watch what I say and wear sometimes. That's why I prefer to keep away from other females. It's too difficult having a friendship with them.

March 9, 2016

I'm not beautiful. I'm attractive. But sometimes I do have underplay my looks because women can get very mean if they get a sense that you do know you're more attractive than them. I've always wanted to be more beautiful so there isn't any shame but I need to watch what I say and wear sometimes. That's why I prefer to keep away from other females. It's too difficult having a friendship with them.

It's unfair that people like yourself have to change your behaviour or choices just so you don't have to deal with issues of other women. I'm sorry you have to go through that. And yes you are beautiful! Every woman is in her own unique way. I'm sure you're underplaying your beauty too

March 9, 2016

I was recently reading an article about female psychology and beauty. They mentioned in the article that a lot of beautiful women are ashamed of their beauty because they're been put down for it their whole life.

They are afraid to "shine" because they don't want to make other women feel bad, so they shrink themselves down to avoid competitive or jealous female rivalry.

Have any of you experienced this? It sounds a bit odd, but then again, women can be very mean and jealous so it doesn't seem far-fetched...

I have been told that I'm a very beautiful girl and I believe I am, but I've never felt the way you describe above. I actually love to shine, and if people get jealous or can't handle that, it's their problem, not mine. I find it weird that some women are ashamed of their beauty, I mean it's not their fault and beaity should be embraced, not hidden!

March 9, 2016

I don't get how you can hide your beauty. Beauty is in your face, or your curves so how can you hide it? Half of the reason I don't dress like I want has less to do with women and much more to do with men. I don't know what it is but men can behave like animals/juveniles around me. With women, if I show some cleavage, they probably think it looks good and will compliment me. Some men act like horny slobs like you exist to sexually please them. Also, sometimes you want to fit in but if all other women are overweight, you're gonna have jealousy. I've never known women to be high school though. They mostly just get quietly insecure and lean on their boyfriends. That's very different than how men can act, especially if you're not interested.

March 9, 2016

When I was younger, I downplayed my looks to limit unwanted attention from men. No make up, plain hair, no push up bras, no cleavage, etc.

March 9, 2016

I was recently reading an article about female psychology and beauty. They mentioned in the article that a lot of beautiful women are ashamed of their beauty because they're been put down for it their whole life.

They are afraid to "shine" because they don't want to make other women feel bad, so they shrink themselves down to avoid competitive or jealous female rivalry.

Have any of you experienced this? It sounds a bit odd, but then again, women can be very mean and jealous so it doesn't seem far-fetched...

Oh yes all the time... *cough cough*

I have never thought of myself as "beautiful" but I do think of myself as "attractive".

Women can be mean and catty just as much as men can be nasty too.

Women seem to take attractive women as a threat regardless of whether they are or not. Men don't seem to be so bothered about it as they tend to be more goal oriented.

I have been "ousted" many a time from female groups because they do not like the "threat" of me. Shame really but their loss not mine when you look at it. Insecurity is a very damaging thing.

I have down played my looks and where appropriate still do to this day. I have a male friend whos partner is a bit catty and can be quite nasty. So whenever we go out and I know she will be there I always wear frumpy clothes, no make up and scrape my hair back so she feels more secure. If she is more comfortable being prettier and skinnier that is fine by me.

March 9, 2016

I've never seen a beautiful woman try and downplay her beauty for any reason. That's just my experience with friends and acquaintances though. Also the kind of women who get jealous over looks, money, success etc. are not the kind of people who's opinions matter to me.

March 9, 2016

I have an acquaintance who is a very, very, very beautiful girl, she has this model look, tall, skinny, blond long hair, literally perfect looking. I have never, ever felt jealous of her. I just love to admire her beauty, whenever she posts pics of herself on facebook/instragram, I always like them and seeing her beauty just makes me feel great. I am straight btw. I don't get why women would get catty about other women's looks - perhaps it is mostly the less attractive women who are insecure about their looks.

March 9, 2016

Oh yes all the time... *cough cough*

I have never thought of myself as "beautiful" but I do think of myself as "attractive".

Women can be mean and catty just as much as men can be nasty too.

Women seem to take attractive women as a threat regardless of whether they are or not. Men don't seem to be so bothered about it as they tend to be more goal oriented.

I have been "ousted" many a time from female groups because they do not like the "threat" of me. Shame really but their loss not mine when you look at it. Insecurity is a very damaging thing.

I have down played my looks and where appropriate still do to this day. I have a male friend whos partner is a bit catty and can be quite nasty. So whenever we go out and I know she will be there I always wear frumpy clothes, no make up and scrape my hair back so she feels more secure. If she is more comfortable being prettier and skinnier that is fine by me.

Are you not bothered that you need to change things about yourself in order to avoid conflict from someone else?

I personally would be.

March 9, 2016

When I was younger, I downplayed my looks to limit unwanted attention from men. No make up, plain hair, no push up bras, no cleavage, etc.

I sometimes get *more* attention from men when I downplay.

Very little makeup, hair in pony, ball cap, leggings, tee and sneaks...for example.

It is amazing how many men go for that type of low key natural look.

Beauty still shines through though, you can't *hide* that.

I think if a woman is friendly and open to women, they won't feel threatened or jealous.

Not my experience anyway, just the opposite ....they compliment me!

Want to be friends with me....

I am very low key though, keeping it natural for the most part anyway...don't flaunt myself, maybe that's the difference.

Edited March 9, 2016 by katiegrl

March 9, 2016

Nope, but you will find the older you get, the less you care about who can't handle how you look.

Anyone who feels less than because of how someone else looks--that's their problem, not yours.

March 9, 2016

Nope, but you will find the older you get, the less you care about who can't handle how you look.

Anyone who feels less than because of how someone else looks--that's their problem, not yours.

What if it's not the looks that make their beauty? What if it's their personality or just the way you are?

Some people see more beauty in that too, and that's what they choose to attack in you, whether you look good or not.

I suppose your answer goes in either case. It shouldn't matter what others think. I wish I was less affected, but it's a work in progress.

Edited March 9, 2016 by Hopeful30

March 9, 2016

Not a woman , lol but I've seen very few women who do down play their beauty , trying to hide that they are beautiful but the issue is that that makes them more beautiful and they get hit on nevertheless!

March 9, 2016

Are you not bothered that you need to change things about yourself in order to avoid conflict from someone else?

I personally would be.

Nope. Not bothered at all. All I am doing is down playing my looks and allowing her to look better. I am not changing the person I am.

I know who I am and I am confident with who I am. I don't need to be the most beautiful, the skinniest or have the longest legs or the biggest boobs to feel good about myself.

I am also kind enough to realise that some people do not feel that way about themselves and for them it can be threatening and uncomfortable to be around those that are.

I am not there to compete for her boyfriend. I am there to spend time with him, as my friend, when I can, because I enjoy his company. When she feels less threatened, she can also be good company. So as far as I am concerned its a win win for the sake of not bothering with a bit of mascara...

Why should I be upset when I get to be lazy and have a good time rather than having to bother and then put up with catty behaviour?

I can wear make up another day. It doesn't matter to me at all.

March 9, 2016

What if it's not the looks that make their beauty? What if it's their personality or just the way you are?

Some people see more beauty in that too, and that's what they choose to attack in you, whether you look good or not.

I suppose your answer goes in either case. It shouldn't matter what others think. I wish I was less affected, but it's a work in progress.

jmo, but I would think if women were to attack you (generic you) because of your personality, it is not because your personality is beautiful, but because there is something about your personality they find off-putting.

Many (not all) beautiful women come off as standoffish ...like they are somehow *better*...either consciously or unconsciously....

That may be the reason why women are viscious, etc.

I see this a lot, especially here in southern California.

Edited March 9, 2016 by katiegrl

March 9, 2016

That might be a cultural thing somewhere. I live in the US and never encountered that in my 63 years.

March 9, 2016

I was recently reading an article about female psychology and beauty. They mentioned in the article that a lot of beautiful women are ashamed of their beauty because they're been put down for it their whole life.

I don't believe this one bit.

If you are beautiful you will have it easier and this from your birth. Beautiful little girls get more attention at daycare, beautiful little girls get more patience from their teachers, beautiful teenage girls are popular, beautiful young women will get the job before the ugly one, beautiful women get forgiven more often, people are polite with them in the streets, over-all, all of their life, it will have been easier because of their beauty.

A true beautiful woman can't downplay her beauty. She is as beautiful in her old pj's as she is in heels and make-up. As per several research what makes a person beautiful is very mathematics, it's the distance between the eyes and other features, it's the asymmetry of the face, the shape of the chin. None of that can be downplayed.

March 9, 2016

jmo, but I would think if women were to attack you (generic you) because of your personality, it is not because your personality is beautiful, but because there is something about your personality they find off-putting.

Many (not all) beautiful women come off as standoffish ...like they are somehow *better*...either consciously or unconsciously....

That may be the reason why women are viscious, etc.

I see this a lot, especially here in southern California.

Groups of women tend to be weird and catty. I've done temp work and walking in as the new receptionist I had a target on my back. There are some really nice kind people in this world but they are hard to find.

I keep to myself. It's a little lonely but it's better than being talked about. Plus, I don't have kids; so when women go into their mommy conversations my eyes glaze over.

Whatever.

March 9, 2016

I don't believe this one bit.

If you are beautiful you will have it easier and this from your birth. Beautiful little girls get more attention at daycare, beautiful little girls get more patience from their teachers, beautiful teenage girls are popular, beautiful young women will get the job before the ugly one, beautiful women get forgiven more often, people are polite with them in the streets, over-all, all of their life, it will have been easier because of their beauty.

A true beautiful woman can't downplay her beauty. She is as beautiful in her old pj's as she is in heels and make-up. As per several research what makes a person beautiful is very mathematics, it's the distance between the eyes and other features, it's the asymmetry of the face, the shape of the chin. None of that can be downplayed.

I will say this. Anytime I do think I can use my looks to get what I want I do it.

So there are perks.

March 9, 2016

Groups of women tend to be weird and catty. I've done temp work and walking in as the new receptionist I had a target on my back. There are some really nice kind people in this world but they are hard to find.

I keep to myself. It's a little lonely but it's better than being talked about. Plus, I don't have kids; so when women go into their mommy conversations my eyes glaze over.

Whatever.

Okay, but maybe by keeping to yourself, you come off (unknowingly) as a bit standoffish as I said before.

Have you tried being open and friendly to these women... instead of keeping to yourself?

I dunno, it might help.

Yes it is very difficult walking into a new environment... where groups (clicks) exist.

It takes more effort to fit in but it can be done.

March 9, 2016

IME aggressive/nasty/[] people tend to attack other aggressive/nasty/[] people - they wind each other up.

OR aggressive/nasty/[] people attack anyone they perceive as weak and therefore easy prey.

Few people will attack those who they see as equal or superior, as they know they will probably lose the fight, they instead attack those who they think are inferior.

I do not really think "beauty" has much to do with it.

Of course if a "beautiful" person is feeling insecure and shows it, then she may be looked upon as being an easy target.

It is not her beauty but her insecurity and weakness, that makes her vulnerable to attack.

Edited March 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

March 9, 2016

There are beautiful women who are insecure and don't think they are beautiful, have body image problems or low self esteem, low self worth. By no means do they feel bad for being beautiful....who does that? no one I know.

March 9, 2016

I was recently reading an article about female psychology and beauty. They mentioned in the article that a lot of beautiful women are ashamed of their beauty because they're been put down for it their whole life.

It's not unusual to be ostracized or degraded as a young person (adolescent/teen) who happens to be blessed with physical beauty, mainly due to young folks not yet maturing, and those emotional memories can be carried forward, depending on home life, socialization and the intrinsic genetics of the person's mind.

They are afraid to "shine" because they don't want to make other women feel bad, so they shrink themselves down to avoid competitive or jealous female rivalry.

Fear, yeah, for some; modesty, wanting to be 'equal', wanting to be accepted and valued for who they are not only what they appear like, etc, etc. Lots of reasons.

Have any of you experienced this? It sounds a bit odd, but then again, women can be very mean and jealous so it doesn't seem far-fetched...

Yeah, more on the listening end but my takeaway is they, generally, were there to work and prefer fewer or no distractions to that work and, well, they can be distracting, both to men and other women.

One young lady I've been advising of late, one whom I think has a bright future as a business owner, generally goes without makeup and dresses down and covers up and, watching, this seems to make her more 'invisible' and facilitates both getting more work done and managing others more easily.

I've also seen her, well, putting on the brights, and, heh, nothing gets done and there's a parade of guys going through her office for all manner of nothing really other than basking in her beauty and, yup, the female subordinates get affected too, sometimes annoyed, mainly IMO because of all the guys getting in their way

I don't think she feels 'bad' necessarily, not from what she's shared with me, but rather understands that there's a time and place for everything and, in a blue collar business, being aware of the culture and people and working effectively within that work group can require adaptation. I'll bet she doesn't mind missing the makeup and dress routine when rolling out of bed at 4:30am to get the kids going before heading to work. That's probably pretty cool.

March 9, 2016

Sometimes when we go out with certain friends, my wife will dress to hide her beauty/figure. She doesn't want the other woman to feel uncomfortable, or jealous, and avoid us in the future. They are wonderful people and good friends, if perhaps a bit insecure about their appearance.

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Women who hide their beauty because they feel bad being so beautiful?

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