Breaking up with someone who says they're in love with you....

[supernerd]

I have another thread going about my marital issues. That being said, I'm ready to end the relationship.

 

She says things like, "I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy" and "You're my whole life"... after 15+years of hearing these things, but seeing little to no action or effort, I'm tired, lonely, hurt, and I dont even LIKE HER.

 

Bur, knowing that it'll hurt her, I can't call it quits. Is this a sign that I do love her? I say I don't, but my inability to suck it up and move on makes me think I am possibly still having feelings for her.

 

I don't want to be with her but don't want to hurt her. Is this normal?

[smudge21]

I wouldn't say this is love, more that you simply don't want to hurt her. Nothing wrong with being a nice person to anyone, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. As much as leaving someone will hurt for both of you, surely it's better than living a lie and trying to fix something that is far too broken. Maybe at the very least, some time apart will make you both realise what it is that you both want/need out of life, and it may not be each other. It is sad when this happens, but as much as you're thinking about her feelings you also need to think about your own. You say you don't want to hurt her, but are you currently hurting yourself?

[SammySammy]

"Love is a manifested thing."

 

My pastor says that all the time. Love is what you do, not what you say.

 

If a person says they love you, but you can't see it in their actions they don't love you. They are just using the words to manipulate you.

 

On the other hand, it's possible for a person to never say the words, but show you through their actions that they completely adore you.

 

Pay attention to what people do, not what they say.

[teacherman]

I am going through a similar situation. She always says I will fix it, I can't imagine not being with you, I don't want you to stop loving me, etc. It's tough.