red.velvet Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Guys, if you never initiate conversation (calls or text) but you respond when texted or called, is this a sign of lack of interest?
Redhead14 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Guys, if you never initiate conversation (calls or text) but you respond when texted or called, is this a sign of lack of interest? It is one of the ways that a woman strings herself along. A guy isn't calling her, she doesn't "get it", so will do all the initiating. The guy will go along with it so that if his other options dry up, he knows he can come around to you. 1
Larryville Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 One of those questions where that dreaded word "DEPENDS" clearly comes into play... Me, I text good morning and good eve or night depending on the day, activities ect. I NEVER initiate a text or phone conversation. Reason? Most of those I have dated lead very busy lives. Dated teachers or other educators, business owners, administrative types so during the day could rarely talk or text. Me I have an extremely flexible job, I’m 100% in control of my day, I have a 4 minute commute to work. Kids are grown, I live in a small town, some extracurricular stuff but have a pretty chilled lifestyle. So some of the women were moms (constant activities), busy with work, had exercise routines, extra curricular activities, met with friends, had family obligations. So I just say call me or text me when you have the time. I am not going to be bugging her if she is busy or occupied so I don’t bother. I’ve told everyone that. Some after long hard days maybe don’t feel like talking, if they do want to chat or vent I’m available. Boils down to what type of person you are dating and their lifestyle.
d0nnivain Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Probably but it could also be somebody who doesn't like to text / talk on the phone. 1
Author red.velvet Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 If I don't initiate contact this guy will not contact me. We have gone 2 weeks without talking because I didn't initiate contact. And then when I do, he responds. It's positive responses, he is conversational. It feels a little ****ty, like he is not interest in me. I don't know, what do you all think?
SwordofFlame Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 If I don't initiate contact this guy will not contact me. We have gone 2 weeks without talking because I didn't initiate contact. And then when I do, he responds. It's positive responses, he is conversational. It feels a little ****ty, like he is not interest in me. I don't know, what do you all think? He's not interested.
d0nnivain Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 If in those responses he's not initiating a meeting, he's simply being polite by replying to you when you reach out. He has good manners but isn't interested in dating you.
Author red.velvet Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 Thank you guys, I really needed to know, so I can know to stop initiating. I was feeling so confused. We had a brief text chat yesterday and he ended it with 'we'll talk tomorrow' but he will never initiate unless I do. Sigh.
Satu Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Personally I'd rather have one longish phone conversation, than 10 or 12 texts for a few reasons, the main one being that I don't like having to fiddle with my phone when I'm busy doing something. 3
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 (edited) Personally I'd rather have one longish phone conversation, than 10 or 12 texts for a few reasons, the main one being that I don't like having to fiddle with my phone when I'm busy doing something. So you'd rather talk on the phone when you're busy doing something? Not sure how that would work, but okie doke! I like texting precisely because I may be busy doing something and therefore don't have time to respond immediately. I can take a few minutes (or longer) to respond back until I am done doing whatever I am doing. Like when I am at work, I am always getting interrupted with one thing or another - I could never carry on a phone convo. But through texting, we are able to maintain communication during the day and still stay connected even though we are both busy working. Edited March 8, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Satu Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 So you'd rather talk on the phone when you're busy doing something? Not sure how that would work, but okie doke! I like texting precisely because I may be busy doing something and therefore don't have time to respond immediately. I can take a few minutes (or longer) to respond back until I am done doing whatever I am doing. Like when I am at work, I am always getting interrupted with one thing or another - I could never carry on a phone convo. But through texting, we are able to maintain communication during the day and still stay connected even though we are both busy working. Yes. I would rather take a break from what I'm doing, and have a longish telephone conversation, than have to keep picking up my phone to read texts. 1
strawberryshortstack Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Probably but it could also be somebody who doesn't like to text / talk on the phone. Could be, but if he were interested, he'd be initiating at least some contact, I'd think. My current bf isn't a big texter, and hates talking on the phone. But he's never let a single day go by since our first date without contacting me in some form. 1
katiegrl Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Yes. I would rather take a break from what I'm doing, and have a longish telephone conversation, than have to keep picking up my phone to read texts. I prefer emails while at work. I am working on my computer anyway, and more discreet than constantly looking at my phone ....I would probably get in trouble anyway if I kept texting and talked on the phone. A phone call at night, say before bed, is nice though! 1
katiegrl Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 (edited) Yes. I would rather take a break from what I'm doing, and have a longish telephone conversation, than have to keep picking up my phone to read texts. Fair enough ....personally I would rather save longish convos for when we see each other in person ....to each his own. For me, email and texting are for short fun exchanges.... to bring smiles to an otherwise stressful busy day. For example, this guy I just started seeing (two dates last weekend) sent me a short fun *email* yesterday afternoon that made me smile! I was super busy, but emailed back around 30 minutes with something equally short and fun. These short fun exchanges really brighten my day, and serve to keep us connected.....in a light-hearted, non-pressured way until we see each other again. But like I said, to each his own. Edited March 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
smudge21 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 I've gone from receiving lots of contact, 50/50 even split on the initiating to a bit of a drop off, and now total no initiating from her at all for over 2 weeks. I've initiated and like you, she has come back, but then quickly dropped off again. I agree with the others here, the interest has gone and so must I. If someone is really into you and wants to hear from/misses you, then screw any excuses to not get in touch. We live in a world where you can contact pretty much anyone, anytime, anywhere in the world. Back away and see if he comes to you - if he does, simply bring it up. 1
Summer3 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Thank you guys, I really needed to know, so I can know to stop initiating. I was feeling so confused. We had a brief text chat yesterday and he ended it with 'we'll talk tomorrow' but he will never initiate unless I do. Sigh. Move forward. How old are you?
katiegrl Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Fair enough ....personally I would rather save longish telephone convos for when we see each other in person ....to each his own. For me, email and texting are for short fun exchanges.... to bring smiles to an otherwise stressful busy day. For example, this guy I just started seeing (two dates last weekend) sent me a short fun *email* yesterday afternoon that made me smile! I was super busy, but emailed back around 30 minutes with something equally short and fun. These short fun exchanges really brighten my day, and serve to keep us connected.....in a light-hearted, non-pressured way until we see each other again. But like I said, to each his own. Sorry, I meant longish convos for when we see each other in person! Not longish *telephone* convos for when we see each other in person, that makes no sense...since we are together, in person! LOL
katiegrl Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 I've gone from receiving lots of contact, 50/50 even split on the initiating to a bit of a drop off, and now total no initiating from her at all for over 2 weeks. I've initiated and like you, she has come back, but then quickly dropped off again. I agree with the others here, the interest has gone and so must I. If someone is really into you and wants to hear from/misses you, then screw any excuses to not get in touch. We live in a world where you can contact pretty much anyone, anytime, anywhere in the world. Back away and see if he comes to you - if he does, simply bring it up. smudge, you are still struggling with this same girl? I thought you *had* broken it off. Or is this a different girl? JMO, but if same girl, I think it's time you bid this one adieu.... Sorry...
smudge21 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 (edited) smudge, you are still struggling with this same girl? I thought you *had* broken it off. Or is this a different girl? JMO, but if same girl, I think it's time you bid this one adieu.... Sorry... Yeah, finally took my own advice - which makes a change! Same girl and I do wish I'd followed your kind words before, but seeing how it's turned out now, I think the outcome would've been the same. Thanks anyway. Edited March 9, 2016 by smudge21 updated
Gaeta Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 He is not interested. Even the shyest of guys will text to win over a woman he likes. Even a man that despise texting will initiate texting to win over the woman he likes. My boyfriend doesn't like texting. At first when he was pursuing me he was texting plenty!! he did what he had to do to keep my attention. That's called 'motivation'. Then he replaced texting with calling because calling is his favorite mean of communication. If a man is interested in you he will show is interest, if it's not by text it will be by phone, by email, by messengers, by setting up dates a few days apart. Less than that he's not interested
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