ilovemusic3 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Who has never had a first kiss? I started dating this guy he is 30. We went out last night and we had a good time, and we seem to like each other. We were talking and he started to say how the longest relationship he's had was 3 dates and that he has never kissed a girl before. He did go to a Christian college, so the most guys and girls could do there is hold hands. He is 30 now though. He said he doesn't always know when it's time to kiss a girl and he doesn't want to be rejected. Is this okay? Is it weird? I'm not that experienced either, but I have done sexual things with a guy before. Thoughts please?
smackie9 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 I have been with virgins, not at 30 but whatever, you have to take the lead at first to increase their confidence, then it usually becomes natural for them after that. 3
basil67 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Generally speaking, it would only bother me if their personality was the reason they were still a virgin. The Christian college thing would make me wary though. Sure they could only hold hands at school, but there's a whole lot of after school too. I'd want to hope that his decisions aren't still guided by religion. 2
GenuineAttraction Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Who has never had a first kiss? I started dating this guy he is 30. We went out last night and we had a good time, and we seem to like each other. We were talking and he started to say how the longest relationship he's had was 3 dates and that he has never kissed a girl before. He did go to a Christian college, so the most guys and girls could do there is hold hands. He is 30 now though. He said he doesn't always know when it's time to kiss a girl and he doesn't want to be rejected. Is this okay? Is it weird? I'm not that experienced either, but I have done sexual things with a guy before. Thoughts please? The most important thing is how do you feel when you are with him? I would say have a good time until you know your answer. Let him lead. You could be his coach, but I mean...you may be trying to fix him. Does coaching him sound appealing?
jen1447 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Years ago I dated a very inexperienced guy who ended up being a great kisser once we got it sorted out. So don't assume anything as far as that goes. 6
road Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Many shy men delay dating because they are shy and lack confidence. Until they each the point and are willing to face rejection as part of getting a girlfriend. So give him credit for being honest with you and take the lead to get him started with the physical side of the relationship. Believe me he is attracted to you and wants to get his share of kissing done. Appreciate him saying he does not know how or when to start kissing for he does not want to get you mad at him for being to forward.
RRM321 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 LOL. Well, if you don't like the way he kisses - you have only your self to blame! Good luck teacher.
Author ilovemusic3 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Posted March 9, 2016 Well should I be concerned that he's gay, because how could a guy make it to 30 without kissing a girl? Or that there is some other negative reason why he hasn't? Wound anyone be uncomfortable being his first kiss?
Chris2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Well should I be concerned that he's gay, because how could a guy make it to 30 without kissing a girl? Or that there is some other negative reason why he hasn't? Wound anyone be uncomfortable being his first kiss? Quit analyzing it too much! Seems like you like each other. Swap spit already! To answer your questions: No. No. No. I'm essentially your guy. When I was around age 33, first hand hold; french kiss; 2nd base. She pretty much initiated, and I loved it! I'm rooting for this guy, and you OP!
Author ilovemusic3 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Posted March 9, 2016 Quit analyzing it too much! Seems like you like each other. Swap spit already! To answer your questions: No. No. No. I'm essentially your guy. When I was around age 33, first hand hold; french kiss; 2nd base. She pretty much initiated, and I loved it! I'm rooting for this guy, and you OP! Wow really, how did you make it to 33 without doing those things and why didn't you date before you were 33?
Chris2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Wow really, how did you make it to 33 without doing those things and why didn't you date before you were 33? No interests/green light from women. Lack of trying/being proactive. Though, not sure how successful I would have been, had I tried/been proactive. And so on ...
Phoenician Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 All depends what you really want , and personality you are . If you are seeking an LTR and a marriage and you are committed religiously you might be fine . If you are an HD person , who likes to explore and sometimes beyond what religion depicts , then you will soon torture yourself. Religiously Committed personnel have a near borderline personality related to sexual desires even what simple ones are considered normal by others ; to elaborate take anal , oral as an example .... what personality are you ? can you be satisfied with missionary a lifetime ? if you do go for it , otherwise ; don't indulge yourself in a failing scenario ...
spriggan2 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Wow really, how did you make it to 33 without doing those things and why didn't you date before you were 33? Word of advice, as a guy whos first kiss came at age 29, pestering your dude with questions like this in a tone of disbelief is going to get old, real fast. Everyone's different but something to keep in mind. 4
Toodaloo Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 And this whole thread is why you do not talk about it but just get on and do it! 1
al78 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Well should I be concerned that he's gay, because how could a guy make it to 30 without kissing a girl? As someone who was once 30 and had never had any intimacy with a woman, I can say it's not that difficult. Basically it comes down to a combination of late development, constantly being attracted to women who already had a partner, then later on asking someone out, get rejected, ask someone else out, get rejected, try again, get rejected, repeat for 10+ years. Try online dating, get the (very) occasional first date, get no further, get more first dates, get no further, repeat for 10+ years. Try updating online profile, enlist help from relationship coach, be more proactive contacting women through the dating site, never get a reply in over two years. Finally take a long break due to being fed up with having a self esteem battered like a Caribbean island in a hyperactive hurricane season. I did finally get a girlfriend through online dating back in 2010, she dumped me after eight months and have not had another since. I'm 38 now so am hoping in 10 years time I might have some chance with the single late 40's, 50's single women of which there seem to be quite a few in my social circles.
road Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Many shy men delay dating because they are shy and lack confidence. Until they each the point and are willing to face rejection as part of getting a girlfriend. So give him credit for being honest with you and take the lead to get him started with the physical side of the relationship. Believe me he is attracted to you and wants to get his share of kissing done. Appreciate him saying he does not know how or when to start kissing for he does not want to get you mad at him for being to forward. Well should I be concerned that he's gay, because how could a guy make it to 30 without kissing a girl? Or that there is some other negative reason why he hasn't? Wound anyone be uncomfortable being his first kiss? Do you not read the posts on your threads, or how about the threads from male posters here having problems with not only not getting a girlfriend they can't get dates? These men are not gay. They are not even happy. They are dating challenged. Re-read your first post. He is into you for he keeps taking you out. Him talking about kissing was his way of saying I want to kiss but I don't know how or when to start and I am being afraid of being to forward and getting you mad. This is him saying to you that I need help get this show on the road. Start driving woman.
Pillow Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 One of my guy friends came to the game late before finally realizing he wanted a gf at 25. He is not gay whatsoever lol. He tries and tries but women don't take to him. He's never been kissed. He's also religious, not the most handsome, and a bit boring. He's respectful with a good job but that's not really enough these days for women. Women also have to feel chemistry and attraction. He can go on and on about a topic that most women don't even think about like 16th century wars and the chemical makeup of aluminum. I don't want to change him because maybe some girl wil find his rather boring topics interesting. Another of my guy friends has never even went on a date. People who don't know him thinks he's a loner serial killer lol. He actually overheard his roommates saying that about him. He's very shy but I don't know why because he's hilarious and sarcastic, fun and gentle. Hes smart too as hell. He's just unsure. I actually found him attractive but I figured he wasn't interested. As an inexperienced woman, I prefer for men to take the lead and make their interest known clearly and I'm attractive enough where I get men who do.
Author ilovemusic3 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Posted March 9, 2016 Thanks so much for your replies. I just had no idea men or anyone for that matter can make it to 30 without kissing someone. The guy I'm seeing is nice, sweet, cute and we enjoy spending time together. I just was thrown he has zero experience. It didn't seem like he even tried in his 20's though. His longest relationship was three dates. I said three dates isn't a relationship lol. I just feel awkward about being his first kiss. I am still confused as to why he hasn't dated anyone to kiss. He seems like a good guy.
smackie9 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Well should I be concerned that he's gay, because how could a guy make it to 30 without kissing a girl? Or that there is some other negative reason why he hasn't? Wound anyone be uncomfortable being his first kiss? There are many! and they haven't for many different reasons. The main one is total lack of confidence.
smackie9 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Thanks so much for your replies. I just had no idea men or anyone for that matter can make it to 30 without kissing someone. The guy I'm seeing is nice, sweet, cute and we enjoy spending time together. I just was thrown he has zero experience. It didn't seem like he even tried in his 20's though. His longest relationship was three dates. I said three dates isn't a relationship lol. I just feel awkward about being his first kiss. I am still confused as to why he hasn't dated anyone to kiss. He seems like a good guy. Maybe you are the only one that has ever seen these great qualities in him. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 OP, don't underestimate the power someone's faith has over them. Having been raised Catholic, I can tell you it's a heavy burden to walk such a straight and righteous path for fear any little will send you to hell in a hand basket. The fire and brimstone taught to kids at such a young age in many bible-thumping churches can and does wreak havoc on one's social development. He may very well just be a late bloomer. Is that such a crime? Stop over thinking it and enjoy already.
jen1447 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Well should I be concerned that he's gay, because how could a guy make it to 30 without kissing a girl? Or that there is some other negative reason why he hasn't? Wound anyone be uncomfortable being his first kiss? God ....an inexperienced guy isn't automatically hiding a closet sexuality. No offense OP but are you sure you're ready for an adult relationship? You sound a little guileless tbh. 3
losangelena Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 My ex had a great way of explaining his lack of experience. We were out with some of his coworkers one time, dancing, and talking about how one of them always had a different girl with him. I said something like, "he's not terribly picky, is he?" My ex looked at me, said, "I'm very picky," and then gave me quite a smooch. That was over a year ago, we're not even dating anymore, and I still get a bit swoony when I think about it. 1
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