xxCourt96xx Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 This might make me sound terrible, but I'm tired of being my guy friend's constant crutch We've been friends since the end of JR year. I had feelings for him at that point and it wasn't reciprocated, so I moved on and met someone else. After that he went nuts over me but it wasn't reciprocated. Karma, if you will. So then he met someone else and we settled into a good friendship with no residual feelings. Except... His relationship has become rocky. They've been together about a year or so and things are on the rocks pretty good at this point. The problem I have is Every single time they have a relationship issue, he runs to me to vent about it. At first, I didn't mind because it was only once or twice...I'm a good listener. But now it's getting ridiculous...to the point where I wouldn't be okay with it if I was his girlfriend. It's every couple of days now. He'll text me about breaking up with her because he can't handle the relationship. Like, "I think tonight I'm going to sit her down and talk to her...it'll hurt so much but I have to do it" which yes, he seems absolutely miserable, so I tell him that maybe he needs to do it. I know, I feel terrible for encouraging him but I just hate to see my friend hurting...and complaining... Then the next day she'll post a Facebook post about how they're so in love and they're in this together "forever baby" So I'll text him asking how it went to get "We're going to work things out...teamwork" Then the cycle will begin again. He doesn't really text me or contact me unless he needs to vent and complain about her. Frankly, he might be a good friend of mine, but I'm starting to see where this is wrong...if I was his girlfriend, I'd be peeved that he was texting a girl he used to have feelings for (granted, we're good friends now) about our relationship. It isn't fair to me to be used as a constant crutch and be sucked into their drama. So, is it wrong of me to stop wanting to be his crutch? Like, he's a good friend of mine...but I give advice and it just gets tossed aside. I'm tired of being in the middle of this and his constant complaining about the relationship. :mad:
RRM321 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 There's no reason anyone other than himself needs to know what he's thinking, and when he plans to break up with his girlfriend. He's giving you notice so you can synchronize your watches. He wants a place to land - and your the nice cozy fireman's blanket he's dialing 911 for.
Author xxCourt96xx Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 There's no reason anyone other than himself needs to know what he's thinking, and when he plans to break up with his girlfriend. He's giving you notice so you can synchronize your watches. He wants a place to land - and your the nice cozy fireman's blanket he's dialing 911 for. Unfortunate for him if that's the case, which sometimes I wonder if it could be. He was still hung up over me a few weeks before they got together. But likewise, I'm with somebody else and that won't change.
preraph Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 I think you should tell him, "Look, I'm your friend, but I need you to stop bringing all your relationship problems to me. I only know your side, so I can't be objective, not knowing her side too, and it's her you need to work it out with, and I hope you do -- But once you get off the rollercoaster and want to go do something fun, call me."
Heatemyheart89 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Hey , my friend was like this to me and it really dragged me down. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when she finally dumped her ex . I would be less available and see what happens to it. If it comes to it say ' I am sorry but I am just really busy, you really need to make your own decisions with this' or something like that.
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