Day 1 after break up

[enchanted771]

I think I may have dodged a bullet...although it's a heartbreaking story

 

Met this guy last summer...thought it was true love. Our kids met each other after some time, eventually he moved in with me, etc. Things were great...at first. I know it's hard living together so I worked through it.

 

He had shoulder surgery back in 2013, but he said he was planning on going to school or getting a job where he didn't have to lift anything over 15 lbs. I was patient because I loved him and he got paid disability so he was able to contribute to the household.

 

Eventually, it started to become too much. I work hard and all he had to do was keep the house clean (it's a 1-bedroom apartment) and every once in a while if I'm lucky he cooked. Rest of the time he complained about the mess my son made, denies ADHD exists, and tries to get us to conform to his germphobe lifestyle which was just become too much to bear.

 

I opened my home to his kids (3 of them) let them sleep in the bed when they visit, cooked for them, made nice holiday meals, took the couch when they came and dealt with all of their BS because they were not easy to deal with. They all had behavioral issues because of the mother. But all of that went un noticed. Never once did he say how he appreciated everything I do.

 

So we been fighting a lot lately and a lot of mean things were said between the two of us. Thought all was good because the other night we were intimate. I leave for work, few min later he message me as usual. Then he is unusually quiet. I call and call no answer. I look on the call record and there's an hour call with a phone number with all 00. So he text me saying how he had a nice time with me but the fight the other night was too much too handle so he moved out.

 

I was crushed how a 39 year old man couldn't have a face to face or telephone convo to tell me. So I'm upset all day at work! Also, the other day he was buying his kids a bed he said for 300.00 even though he doesn't live with his ex! Then he gets there and it's 1,300. He calls me says the finance guy is doing paperwork now and he has to make deposit and pay every month. Calls me back says he needs to use my card because he has a prepaid I said no, I can't do that. So he calls their mom to use hers. So all this went down after he's asking for card info seems iffy.

 

Then last night I found a piece of his mail, from his old address he left buried in the drawer. Come to find out it's a warrant for child support! They haven't been able to arrest him because he was living here for 8 months. Sometimes he would use his money reserved for child support to buy kids Christmas presents, birthday presents, clothes, etc. I told him he isn't going to be any good to them if he's in jail which is what his irresponsible behavior is doing!

[Satu]

I don't see it as a heartbreaking story.

 

I see it as a story where what needed to happen happened.

 

You really did dodge a bullet.

 

Having said that, you will have to grieve the loss of things not working out the way you wanted.

 

It hurts when your hope gets shattered.

 

 

Take care.

[smudge21]

Wow, you didn't just dodge a bullet but the whole firing squad. Unfortunately when we meet someone and fall for them, we fall for the impression they give us; that nice perfect person who we eventually want in our lives and feel will be perfect for us in every way. Love truly makes us blind and it's only when things start to calm down and ease off that we start to see little flaws which in your case, become massive issues. A lot of the time too, we refuse to accept the reality as by doing so, means we fell for the wrong person and that can hurt us more. There's no shame in doing that though as we're only human and can only react on what we do know. I take people at face value and like to believe everyone is good and honest. Sadly that has led me to fall for the wrong person on many occasions, but I still wouldn't change how I am. What you've been through will hurt for a long time as not only is it a loving relationship ending but also you're finding out the truth about someone who you let into your life. It sucks when we get let down, when people we love just let us down and hurt us, but sadly that's just the way some people are. Hopefully you can get past this and move on, find someone better.

[enchanted771]

Wow, you didn't just dodge a bullet but the whole firing squad. Unfortunately when we meet someone and fall for them, we fall for the impression they give us; that nice perfect person who we eventually want in our lives and feel will be perfect for us in every way. Love truly makes us blind and it's only when things start to calm down and ease off that we start to see little flaws which in your case, become massive issues. A lot of the time too, we refuse to accept the reality as by doing so, means we fell for the wrong person and that can hurt us more. There's no shame in doing that though as we're only human and can only react on what we do know. I take people at face value and like to believe everyone is good and honest. Sadly that has led me to fall for the wrong person on many occasions, but I still wouldn't change how I am. What you've been through will hurt for a long time as not only is it a loving relationship ending but also you're finding out the truth about someone who you let into your life. It sucks when we get let down, when people we love just let us down and hurt us, but sadly that's just the way some people are. Hopefully you can get past this and move on, find someone better.

Yes, I think as adults that he could have ended things better especially when there are kids involved. He was thinking only of himself and how he didn't like the thinks I said, etc. But I think in a relationship, if you feel a conversation or words really hurt you or upset you, that you should sit down and discuss it before you just pack up and leave. He just tells me " I warned you from the beginning that I don't like to argue" yeah so when the going gets tough, the tough get packing?? coward.

 

 

But anyways, my son deserves someone more stable in his life, so I am just going to get through it. The way he was talking last night was like he was trying to teach me a lesson. But I wont let him back into his life. Just because his exes begged him back, doesn't mean I will. I actually have standards and dignity.