Summer3 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Its not just married couples. Ask anyone, single, relationships etc its all the same because that is LIFE. It can't be all great all the time. There is work to do if you want the things you have to be good. A house needs cleaning, clothes need washing, food needs to be got in, loo roll stocks need to be checked... I think the internet has skewed our views. People think I live a fantastic life. Many are jealous of it for the simple reason that I go out and talk to people. I put my phone down or leave it in the car or at home. I log off. I switch the TV off and actually get out. I can tell you now that I do often spend time at home sat in front of the TV watching a film and wake up an hour later not remembering what went on and with dribble down the side of my face... That is LIFE! That is reality and in my experience its far better than checking facebook all the time or flipping through OLD profiles... No strings sex makes my Fallopian tubes coil up and hide. So I do not engage in it. I know there are many like me out there. Just as I have found it hard to find someone I click with I know many others have. Difference is I am not relying on the internet to substitute for something real. I like reality even if it does fart and snore. If me and my husband divorced I doubt I'd date anyone. In order for me to feel really stimulated I need to know the person I'm with is head over heels for me. It doesn't sound like that happens anymore.
Toodaloo Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 If me and my husband divorced I doubt I'd date anyone. In order for me to feel really stimulated I need to know the person I'm with is head over heels for me. It doesn't sound like that happens anymore. It does, you just do not hear about it, because they don't talk about it and do not see it as a problem to be resolved. When people are quietly content and happy they do not make a fuss. People only make a fuss when they are a bragging or b. miserable as sin. 6
Gloria25 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 When people are quietly content and happy they do not make a fuss. People only make a fuss when they are a bragging or b. miserable as sin. Yep, the more pictures (especially the "staged" ones) a couple puts up, the more they're trying to convince the world of "something". Gotta love the ones who spend hundreds on professional photos. Put up all the photos of you two hugging, "posing", etc. - it's all a pathetic show and tell game to keep up with the Jonses. I rarely put pictures of myself on social media. I have a enough confidence in my looks and my place in life. Don't need constant "reassurance" (those "likes") from people who probably can't/never picked up the phone to talk to me in real life. There was a saying that I heard on the radio years ago. I used to listen to this radio station late at nite in my Hispanic home and this guy would come on with a sultry voice and say things - one thing he said was like 'The perfume you can barely smell, smells the strongest'. In other words, showing off by putting on so much perfume that you overwhelm people is a turn off. Same thing with "couples" who always gotta be yelling to the world that they're a couple...'Less is more'. 1
Summer3 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Yep, the more pictures (especially the "staged" ones) a couple puts up, the more they're trying to convince the world of "something". Gotta love the ones who spend hundreds on professional photos. Put up all the photos of you two hugging, "posing", etc. - it's all a pathetic show and tell game to keep up with the Jonses. I rarely put pictures of myself on social media. I have a enough confidence in my looks and my place in life. Don't need constant "reassurance" (those "likes") from people who probably can't/never picked up the phone to talk to me in real life. There was a saying that I heard on the radio years ago. I used to listen to this radio station late at nite in my Hispanic home and this guy would come on with a sultry voice and say things - one thing he said was like 'The perfume you can barely smell, smells the strongest'. In other words, showing off by putting on so much perfume that you overwhelm people is a turn off. Same thing with "couples" who always gotta be yelling to the world that they're a couple...'Less is more'. I'll give ya the like anyway.
losangelena Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 I found that "article" to be vague, overly-simplistic, and not at all researched. Does this writer have any facts, or is she just going off emotion? Nah, I don't believe it. I think most people still want connection and commitment. I mean, everyone so far to comment on this article has bemoaned the state of our dating culture. Well, so what? We're of the right mindset and everyone else out there are the problem? No, I don't think so. I personally don't think that relationships were so much better in the past. I think the reality of it was that there was a societal expectation to stick it out, and people had fewer options when it came to getting out of bad marriages. Trust me, people found ways to disconnect from each other before the Internet existed. 2
TrustedthenBusted Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Ever been to an Opera? Same *****, different century. 2
GravityMan Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Everyone on Earth has frequent mundane moments. Both women and men, couples and singles, people in the USA, the UK, Japan, etc. Most people keep their mundane moments private, simply because it's well...mundane. They tend to be more public with their exciting, funny and/or memorable moments. (With exceptions of course.) This is nothing new or recent. It's human nature. People did this back in the 1950s, they do it today, and they'll do it 30 years from now. The difference is, it's a LOT easier today to quickly share your exciting stories with a large populace...via social media, dating sites and so on. And it's a lot easier to access memorable stuff...all it takes is a few clicks. It feeds people's desire for instant gratification. Furthermore, the media (especially the 24-hour news cycle) recognized this and took advantage...that's why there's much greater focus on sensational soundbites (regardless of context) than on actual substance. For impressionable young people that don't have much real-world experience, the Internet and social media may skew their perception of others, and may inflate their expectations of others to unreasonable levels. There's also the "vocal minority", which can drown out everything else and influence a person's perception and expectations - usually in negative ways. That said, I believe that most people, including millennials, do eventually have successful relationships.
ufo8mycat Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 The article author should take up writing romance novels. That was seriously convoluted and I can't remember the question. Modern relationship failure is based on an assumption that relationships of past decades were successful (but some unarticulated standard). The article is also contradictory. Memories are generally built by doing stuff. Not netflix and chill.
kztar Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 The problem is everyone ALWAYS wants better. We all want better this and better that in everything. No one is willing to work through issues. I mean why would you sit there and work through issues when you can easily go catch someone else's attention and have the possibility of less issues? It's all about commitment. No one really cares for it. Think about it this way, we live in America where most cars are leased or financed with some purchased of course. Well, most people here don't fully run their car out, what do we do once the one we have is getting old, out of style, or start giving us problems we go TRADE it in for a newer car and the cycle continues. RELATIONSHIPS THESE DAYS ARE JUST THE SAME WAY. For the most part.
JustGettingBy Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 I think its more that we log basically everything digitally. Yes, people go on a few dates with someone and then it doesn't work out, but that's always happened. Way back when, people just forgot about all their failed relationships, now all the photos and social media postings keep hitting us in the face with our past.
Tomogaso Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 I think the article romanticizes and generalizes a bit too much. From my observation the reasons relationships work out less are: 1.There is less holding people together from a cultural standpoint (it isn't "sacred" anymore). 2.People are more introverted, and plenty of them basically don't even know how to talk about their feelings. (if you're like this I suggest you see a psychologist--having someone you know you can trust with anything and will listen works wonders) That being said--who said longterm relationships are necessarily a good thing? As people we've been polyamorous for millenia and monogamous for only the last 2k years (and less in some cultures). Maybe they aren't working out cause they are artificial by design--propagated by the church and state of old to make practical "units" in society, which are in their own way introverted and thus easier to control. 1
kztar Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 I think its more that we log basically everything digitally. Yes, people go on a few dates with someone and then it doesn't work out, but that's always happened. Way back when, people just forgot about all their failed relationships, now all the photos and social media postings keep hitting us in the face with our past. Dating is one thing but a serious relationship is something else. I think this article is past dating. When you're dating is not much of a commitment rather just feeling the person out.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I'm sure guys, men, are gonna get most of the blame
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