loveheart543 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Hi guys, I'm new here and this is my first post. I really hope I can find some support from this group. It's been three years since my break up. I've been in a new relationship for the past 10 month (subject for another thread). I still miss my ex, or I think I do. My ex supported me through some really terrible stuff (I was homeless at 16, a load of family turmoil, etc) and with her morale support I found the strength to study and go to uni. about 6 months after being in uni she dumped me. I didn't fit in with anyone from university most likely due to my unique background and so I coped on my own for a long time, I even visited a doctor for help. I tried sleeping around, getting in shape, getting high grades etc, nothing made me feel better. I tried moving on, they were very few I found attractive, and when I did try I got rejected for being black (I'm mixed race) its funny because my ex claimed she left because I was too white. I have tried many times to get back in contact with my ex, we all most did, but because she was all I had I can assume that pushed her away further. she once asked me back, I could only assume at the time she was trying to take advantage of me as she told me some boy robbed her from £800 and a phone. I regret no taking her back to this day. I miss her everyday, and I find the girl I'm with to be a disappointment (subject for another thread). Has anyone else experienced this and could you please share some of your wisdom. Thank you. 2
lillian39530 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 I'm sorry you feel that way. Did you ask yourself what exactly do you miss about your ex? Precisely...? Is it possible that you are idealizing your past relationship? Currently trying to forget an ex boyfriend and to have answered those questions helped me. 1
Satu Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 The sadness stops when you stop 'sadding.' Thoughts and feelings are behaviours, not something you can't change, like the weather. When you finally decide that you've been through enough, you'll stop. Take care. PS: You've been through enough. 2
Mrin Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Hey OP, I want you to watch this video. It from a sermon but forget the religious aspect of it and just listen to the message: 2
Heatemyheart89 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Hey, this is hard but things do get better. I had the same with an ex , no one compared etc. But to be honest quite a few years down the line I do not understand what I ever saw in him! Sometimes I just think we get attached to people that are wrong for us in the long term. One day you will meet someone who you will like more than your ex. 2
Hoosfoos Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 You need to stop wasting your current girl's time. If she is such a disappointment, then set her free and look elsewhere. 2
faithfully Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Hey OP, I want you to watch this video. It from a sermon but forget the religious aspect of it and just listen to the message: That YouTube video brought tears to my eyes Thank you I needed that
Author loveheart543 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Posted March 9, 2016 You need to stop wasting your current girl's time. If she is such a disappointment, then set her free and look elsewhere. I've been very open with her about everything, she wont leave me. Just like all relationships, its complicated.
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 You probably didn't have a chance to develop great emotional coping skills, resilience or a real sense of belonging based on the more immediate problems you had to endure as a teen. Good for you for getting into uni, getting in shape etc. Use the resources at your school to get a little therapy, to jump start the developmental milestones you missed given your other situations. 3 years is too long to be carrying a torch. Do let your present GF go if you are not invested in her. It's not fair to string her along. Instead of looking at all you didn't have, including this EX, celebrate all of the accomplishments you have achieved in your young life. When you realize how amazing it is that you are where you are based on where you came from, things will look a bit more positive. You don't need her.
Heatemyheart89 Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 (edited) I've been very open with her about everything, she wont leave me. Just like all relationships, its complicated. No it isn't . Leave her if it is going nowhere. Edited March 9, 2016 by Heatemyheart89
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