shyguy3543 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Hey guys, In reference to the girl I last posted about. For a quick refresher for anyone who doesn't know the story (just about everyone, I guess hahaha), we hung out a few times. I suggested we make a date out of the next time we hang out and she said she'd like that. So we went and got dinner the following week and ended the night with a kiss. This was about a week before she was going away on vacation, but we weren't going to be able to see eachother before she went away. She asked "you won't forget me while I'm away, will you?" I said no, of course not. That's the end of the refresher. Here's my current situation. I wasn't sure when she'd be back home, but judging by the pics she's posted on facebook and stuff, she got back a couple of days ago. I haven't heard anything from her at all. Maybe it's just me, but if I were interested in someone and felt enough spark to have just shared a first kiss right before going away for about a week and a half, I'd get home and contact them pretty quickly to let them know I'm home and that I wanna meet up to tell them all about the trip and also continue with what we had in the works. I was thinking of contacting her on Wednesday if I don't hear from her by then and asking how the trip was or something and maybe toss in a joke saying "You forgot about me! lol" What would you guys do?
yxalitis Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Hey guys, In reference to the girl I last posted about. For a quick refresher for anyone who doesn't know the story (just about everyone, I guess hahaha), we hung out a few times. I suggested we make a date out of the next time we hang out and she said she'd like that. So we went and got dinner the following week and ended the night with a kiss. This was about a week before she was going away on vacation, but we weren't going to be able to see eachother before she went away. She asked "you won't forget me while I'm away, will you?" I said no, of course not. That's the end of the refresher. Here's my current situation. I wasn't sure when she'd be back home, but judging by the pics she's posted on facebook and stuff, she got back a couple of days ago. I haven't heard anything from her at all. Maybe it's just me, but if I were interested in someone and felt enough spark to have just shared a first kiss right before going away for about a week and a half, I'd get home and contact them pretty quickly to let them know I'm home and that I wanna meet up to tell them all about the trip and also continue with what we had in the works. I was thinking of contacting her on Wednesday if I don't hear from her by then and asking how the trip was or something and maybe toss in a joke saying "You forgot about me! lol" What would you guys do? Contact her. 2
Marc878 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 I would think she is expecting a call/date from you. 3
Author shyguy3543 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 I would think she is expecting a call/date from you. Eek, really? I guess I should contact her then. I wasn't not texting her because I wanted to see what she'd do, I just thought it was kind of on the person who just got back. I think the little pessimist in me started thinking that she wasn't interested enough to contact me after getting away from things for a bit. Crap!!
smudge21 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Negative thinking dude, we all do it, doubt ourselves. Then there's that stupid idea that the other person should contact first or something, like it's a rule. You have to do what is right for you and you can't put yourself in their shoes. As you said, you left on good terms, so there's no reason to believe anything has changed. Call her, ask about the vacation, keep it short though as you really want to see her and talk about it then. 1
smackie9 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 From what women on here keep posting, if the guy is interested, he needs to do the initiating. Not my call but that is how most women think apparently. 1
GenuineAttraction Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 The first 2 or 3 dates the guy should definitely initiate and plan fun dates. She waiting for you to call. If she's really truly interested, in my experience, she'll start contacting you first, she won't wait for you to call. And when she does you plan the date, not chit chat forever. But she isn't there yet, so you need to help her along
Zahara Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 If I had just gotten back from vacation, I'd reach out to let him know I'm back to get things rolling again. Not stay quiet for two days.
GenuineAttraction Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 If I had just gotten back from vacation, I'd reach out to let him know I'm back to get things rolling again. Not stay quiet for two days. It all depends on how much she likes him. I'd say she's between indifference and "I may go out with him again to see what happens"
hippychick3 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 If I had just gotten back from vacation, I'd reach out to let him know I'm back to get things rolling again. Not stay quiet for two days. If he hadn't contacted me at all the entire time I was gone, I wouldn't call him when I got back. It may not be popular opinion here. But no matter how much I like the guy, if he isn't showing a lot of interest and initiating texts/calls/dates, I lose interest. 4
ASG Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 If he hadn't contacted me at all the entire time I was gone, I wouldn't call him when I got back. It may not be popular opinion here. But no matter how much I like the guy, if he isn't showing a lot of interest and initiating texts/calls/dates, I lose interest. Yeap, same for me. This kinda happened to me over the summer. I'd been on a couple of dates with this guy and was gonna go on holiday. He texted me a few days before, asking if I was excited about the trip, but didn't even wish me safe travels or anything. He texted about a week after I got back, saying he thought i would have texted him when I got back telling him how it went. I was baffled. Hadn't heard from him in weeks! Why would I text him? I'd forgotten about him by that point. 2
Marc878 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Eek, really? I guess I should contact her then. I wasn't not texting her because I wanted to see what she'd do, I just thought it was kind of on the person who just got back. I think the little pessimist in me started thinking that she wasn't interested enough to contact me after getting away from things for a bit. Crap!! Don't come across as needy or clingy but if you like her you need to step up and pursue this. It's what a man does. If it doesn't work out so what. You gave it your best shot and if you don't do that you'll never know.
Zahara Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 (edited) If he hadn't contacted me at all the entire time I was gone, I wouldn't call him when I got back. It may not be popular opinion here. But no matter how much I like the guy, if he isn't showing a lot of interest and initiating texts/calls/dates, I lose interest. I don't expect to be contacted nor would I want to contact if I were on vacation, after only a few dates with a guy. That's just me. But I would reach out upon my return. Edited March 8, 2016 by Zahara
Author shyguy3543 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 Yeah, again, it's not that I'm trying to test her or anything immature or silly like that, I just feel it's kind of awkward to have to be like "hey! Are you back?" when she could be like "hey! I'm back!" lol And maybe it's worth mentioning that on the day she was leaving, I shot her a text saying that I hope she'd have a good time and enjoy it (something along those lines). She said "thanks!" (but in Italian, she was going to Italy) While she was still definitely there, I messaged her once through facebook messenger just to say that I hope she's been having fun and having some awesome Italian food. She again said "Thanks!" in Italian, but that was it. She's not a big texter from what I've gathered (or phoner... she's kinda shy she's said) That being said, I think if I don't hear from her today, I'll contact her tomorrow. Maybe it's the shyness? Maybe she's not feeling it? I don't know.
Zahara Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 That being said, I think if I don't hear from her today, I'll contact her tomorrow. Maybe it's the shyness? Maybe she's not feeling it? I don't know. Seeing that you both parted well and you kept some level of contact with her, you did enough to show her interest. If anything, she should have contacted you upon her return. If you want to contact her, then do so. Maybe she's shy or maybe she isn't interested. You'll never know if you sit back and keep guessing. It won't hurt you to reach out. If anything, it'll help you move forward, with or without her.
GenuineAttraction Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 (edited) I don't know. I don't like the conditions put on the girl after a couple of dates. Love is supposed to be free, you are there to GIVE, not ensure she calls you back as a condition of what you are doing Sometimes she needs a prod now and then. If she accepts great, if not, great. I say contact her and make a date. The fact that you haven't had much communication doesn't hurt you. When you do contact her don't make self deprecating jokes. Just say you were thinking about her and want to set a date. Edited March 8, 2016 by GenuineAttraction Added last two lines
d0nnivain Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Eek, really? I guess I should contact her then. I wasn't not texting her because I wanted to see what she'd do, I just thought it was kind of on the person who just got back. I think the little pessimist in me started thinking that she wasn't interested enough to contact me after getting away from things for a bit. Crap!! Especially because you put some effort in before she left & while she was away the polite thing for her to do would have been to call you when she got home but she didn't The optimist says it's because she has been waiting for you to initiate. The pessimist says she's not interested. Alas, the only way to know is for you to call her.
road Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 Yeah, again, it's not that I'm trying to test her or anything immature or silly like that, I just feel it's kind of awkward to have to be like "hey! Are you back?" when she could be like "hey! I'm back!" lol And maybe it's worth mentioning that on the day she was leaving, I shot her a text saying that I hope she'd have a good time and enjoy it (something along those lines). She said "thanks!" (but in Italian, she was going to Italy) While she was still definitely there, I messaged her once through facebook messenger just to say that I hope she's been having fun and having some awesome Italian food. She again said "Thanks!" in Italian, but that was it. She's not a big texter from what I've gathered (or phoner... she's kinda shy she's said) That being said, I think if I don't hear from her today, I'll contact her tomorrow. Maybe it's the shyness? Maybe she's not feeling it? I don't know. No with the waiting. Contact her today.
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