Jen1983 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 (edited) I know this is probably just me being insecure but need opinions. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We are serious, and talking about getting engaged, married, etc (he has asked my ring size and we've looked at rings). My issue is he does not have one picture of us or me on his facebook. We are facebook "official", as a matter of fact, he is the one that linked us when we first started dating, and we do interact, where he tags me in things, and does refer to me as his girlfriend. He is also friends with my family. I have pictures of him and us, which he has commented on. I guess it stems from my jealousy of his ex (they broke up a few months before we got together), and that he has pics up of their vacation, granted none have them in it, and there are no pictures of her on his page, just scenic pictures from the vacation, but none of us. Am I being completely insane in feeling insecure about this? Edited March 8, 2016 by Jen1983
hippychick3 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 What happens when you tag him in a picture? Doesn't it show up on his page?
basil67 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Does he have pictures of his other friends and family? Does he post many pictures of himself? Does he accept you tagging him in joint photos? I'm trying to get an idea of his FB use before I comment. 2
The Poster Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 It's amazing how much social media screws with people's heads in relationships. I do think you are being insecure here. I mean, you say he's the one that made you guys official on Facebook. He also interacts with you and makes references to you two being together. So...what's the problem? Do you think he's trying to hide you or something? Also, if you have pictures of the both of you on there he probably doesn't feel like he has to post any. 2
txgrl Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Does he 'like' the pictures that you put up of you two ?
normal person Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 It's amazing how much social media screws with people's heads in relationships. I do think you are being insecure here. I mean, you say he's the one that made you guys official on Facebook. He also interacts with you and makes references to you two being together. So...what's the problem? Do you think he's trying to hide you or something? Also, if you have pictures of the both of you on there he probably doesn't feel like he has to post any. Agree. It's amazing how you can imply that you want to marry someone spend the rest of your life with them and then have them freak out because you don't have enough pictures of them on Facebook. OP, social media and other peoples' opinions are just not a priority for some people, I'm one of them. I had an ex who used to get mad over this kind of stuff too, and it drove me nuts because I hate shoving my life in other peoples' faces. No one really cares or even needs to see pictures of anyone else doing relatively mundane, trivial stuff. People who have to post stuff like that aren't doing it for other people to see, they're doing it to satisfy themselves and their insecurities. I can't believe people over the age of 25 still get upset about this kind of thing. 2
AMJ Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 I'll be devil's advocate and take OP's side. Facebook is the place we post everything in life we're happy about, right? Maybe he's not a hardcore Facebook user, but would it kill him to post one stupid picture of them together to make her happy? She's not saying he needs to post every detail of their lives, but she wants to be included in his public life. I agree, it's crazy how much people let social media drift into our real lives. But it's not going away. It's time to adapt. Rarely do I defend this type of thing. Does he know this bothers you? I wouldn't let this derail your relationship. Casually drop some hints, like- you should use this as your new profile pic! You look so cute in it. Unless he's a complete fool he'll understand why, you won't need to say anything else. Some things to think about- Maybe his last breakup was publicly displayed all over Facebook and that's just humiliating. So maybe he's really hesitant before making his new relationship public knowledge. I know a married couple who used to have one Facebook account...well, just this week they both show up with two separate accounts and neither of them have photos of each other in their new separate accounts. Clearly they're splitting up. Crazy, right? One of my old roommates used to fight about this with her BF too. He still doesn't have photos of them together but they live together, have been dating for five years now...but he still has profile photos of his college girlfriend. One of my ex's won't put up photos of him and his new girlfriend on Facebook. Why? Because he keeps lying to ME telling me that he's not with her so I'll sleep with him. I'm not kidding. I mean, me and however many other women he's currently lying to. Not a good guy. I'm not saying OP's boyfriend is a bad guy- I'm just saying it's not at all wrong for her to be at least a little bit bothered.
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