Aries_de_ares Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 My met my boyfriend one and a half months ago. Both of us have dated several times and we came together very smoothly by a mutual attraction. We never officially declared we are dating until last week but we have been having a mutual consent that we are together. Slowly, I realize there maybe some problems between us that deters us from getting more intimate. I can tell he loves me. He bought me clothes when I said I don't have enough clothes (I simply intended to ask him out to shop with me). He tidied up my bed and swept the floor for me when he is over my place. He had done a lot of sweet things and I am very happy with him. I am guessing it is because of his background, he is a Korean from a single parented family. He does not talk about emotions and is very independent. Even though he replies very shortly whenever I texted him, he never say "I love you" or "Honey" whenever he responds... He is really into technology and Luxurious brands. He shares his ideas on the latest phones with me all the time. I would really appreciates if he can talk more sweeties-sweeties with me... I have total faith in him. However, I feel like there are something we can do to make our relationship more intimate. I am emotional and I feel safer if we talks more about life goals, knowing him loving me and more hugging in public.. I understand he feel uncomfortable with that and I am trying my best to encourage him getting over this obstacle. It would be great if any of you can share a bit about your experience to keep me hopeful-- just in case I get frustrated in the future...
smackie9 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 You only have been together for a month and a half......he's still getting to know you....the intimacy will come eventually. Some people don't say "I love you" until 6 months later. You can't force feelings or public affection....it takes time for some. 1
bathtub-row Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 I think you need to accept him as he is, and learn to understand his culture instead of trying to change him. Not everything needs to be gushy talk and romantic fairy tales. It doesn't mean he doesn't have genuine, deep feelings for you. It just means he shows his affection in other ways. If you can't accept that, then you should probably move on. But if you like him and trust him, then realize that he is who he is and love him for that. He sounds like a really good guy to me and I like the fact the he's genuine and doesn't just say things because he thinks you want to hear them. 1
basil67 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 I was going to suggest that perhaps it's a cultural thing but then I realised that he sounds like a totally normal bloke to me. I've dated many men over the years and none of them have been what you want your guy to be. Don't encourage him over the obstacle unless he ASKS to change without being prompted by you - otherwise you'd just be trying to change and mold him to be what you want. What is your dating experience so far? How many men have you dated, and of them, how many did all the things you're wanting from this guy? Lastly, 1.5 months in is far too early for most people to exchange I Love You. This is the time of infatuation and limerance. If you still feel strongly for each other when this intense passion dies, the remaining feeling is love.
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