ss_2xt Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) Both of us got out of long-term relationships recently. I'm 33, she's 32. We're colleagues as well, but since i'm a visiting consultant only see her in the office now maybe once a week if at all. We hit it off from the start, kiss first date, slept together 2nd date (few days later) and it just kept on going like a good tennis match for 6 weeks. We both wanted to keep things light and drama free but wow was she refreshing compared to my ex (whom I broke up with 2 months before, hers was 5 months before). I left for 3 weeks abroad and in that time she said she met someone else and I was devastated. When I came back we talked about it, kissed and she said her heart's not in it anymore. It didn't add up.. nobody goes into something with such good momentum and then just finds someone else?! Other than polite hellos in the office we didn't really speak for 10 days. Then we both broke the ice and it was nice to do that, even teasing each other in the office again over some work related thing. Later that day she asked how I was but I didn't share my feelings immediately, but I had stuff to get off my chest. (mean time I went on a couple dates with other women, but really couldn't care less). Another week goes by and she asks again how I'm doing and this time I spill the beans, telling her how I think its BS, that she's hiding out of fear of getting serious. She admits it and also admits we have a special connection and that she also isn't seeing the other guy. I suggest restarting things very slowly, she says no, but I felt so much better after that and didn't bring it up again. 3 weeks go by, we do work drinks in the office, then proceed just her and I to drinks in a bar nearby. We end up at her place and sleep together again, she admits to me she's been thinking about this moment for many weeks as well. Unfortunately, I'm unable to finish.. the last time we had sex it was fire, this time was half-done (prob. too many GnT's and no dinner) but still I wished it had gone differently (probably anxiety too cos I wanted her so much and didn't want to scare her off). We hang out the next morning, kiss, watch a movie, go for coffee but then eventually I leave by lunch. Radio silence for a few days, then I'm in the office again and say hello, when we hangin out next - she says we'll be in touch. Again radio silence, its been a week and today I reached out if she wanted to hang, she responds quickly that she has plans with her sister and nephew (legitimate, but doesn't attempt to schedule another time). I say thats nice and just ask how she is over text.. no response. (tmr i'm in the office again but i think I should stop approaching her about plans). Essentially I feel that if I don't initiate, nothing would/will happen. During the first 6 weeks of magic it felt equal. Now I'm not sure what to do. I know I should let her come to me at this point as she's afraid of getting serious and I told her before I don't want her to be my gf (excluive), cos I was happy with the flow we used to have.. though she did say lets be exclusive at that time and then retracted it 10 days later. So please advise - do I keep the conversation going every week or really just leave it for another month like I did before? I feel frustrated that the most recent time we were intimate neither of us finished so in a way, this situation is reflective of that. I guess its clear I really like this girl, but she's hesitant to get back in it, but then when we are together it always feels right and she's just blocking the possibility of us to really open up as she did with me before. How do I get her to open up again and explore possibilities like before - leave her alone or pursue or what? Suggestions welcome! Edited March 7, 2016 by ss_2xt
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