Nahcarts Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) Think this was the right area. Anyways I am beyond unsure what to do. Basically two summers ago I met a girl through Facebook of all places on a page for our University as we were both going into 1st year. We got talking and had a lot in common and near the end of the summer we were going to see each other before school started but she disappeared for a week and it seemed like nothing was going to happen, although it turned out her friend past away and disconnected herself from everyone. Unfortunately at the same time a very close friend of mine who id liked for awhile told me she liked me and we started dating (ex now). She was sad but understood the situation, and we stayed friends and we continued to message and see each other occasionally at school. Fast forward to now, she'd been with her bf for a year and a half and had been having trouble for awhile but broke up 3 weeks ago and at about the same time told me she has had feelings for me and wished things had worked out between us originally. Immediately I was hesitant to respond because I like her a lot but didn't want to be a rebound despite her repeatedly saying I wasn't and that I was always her #1 choice. So a couple days later I asked her out and she said it was just a little too soon and needed some time, which I totally understood as she was in a relatively long term relationship (although kinda wish she'd waited to tell me all this when she was over him). Anyways, we kept talking for the next week, I was slightly flirty but was just keeping things light. But she seems to have disappeared on me again, she replies to things I say but not with the same enthusiasm she used to and hasn't messaged me first in awhile, when she used to a lot. We now haven't talked since Wednesday and I have no clue what do do Its really bugging me because I haven't felt this strongly for a girl in awhile. Edited March 7, 2016 by Nahcarts
Jabron1 Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 [she] told me she has had feelings for me and wished things had worked out between us originally. Immediately I was hesitant to respond because I like her a lot but didn't want to be a rebound despite her repeatedly saying I wasn't and that I was always her #1 choice. So a couple days later I asked her out Good. she said it was just a little too soon and needed some time, BS. She didn't 'need time'. That was a soft rejection. Anything other than a yes or a reschedule is a no. And you should stop giving her attention. we kept talking for the next week Why? But she seems to have disappeared on me again, she replies to things I say but not with the same enthusiasm she used to and hasn't messaged me first in awhile, when she used to a lot She's got bored of you, because you aren't enough of a challenge. We now haven't talked since Wednesday and I have no clue what do do You go and chase other women instead. Forget about her. Its really bugging me because I haven't felt this strongly for a girl in awhile. You've become obsessed with pursuing this one girl. Approach twenty women, and you won't be thinking about this one anymore.
preraph Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 You should just not do anything right now until she figures out what she's doing. Most couples break up and get back together at least once. They're probably still communicating. She may have already used you for rebound by letting you know she broke up, but that's okay. She's only human. She has you on her mind. So just let her initiate contact and let her know you want to give her time to really get past the last relationship but to let you know when she is ready to actually date. Otherwise, this could turn into a cry on the shoulder friendzone if she's still hung up on her ex.
Author Nahcarts Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 Good. BS. She didn't 'need time'. That was a soft rejection. Anything other than a yes or a reschedule is a no. And you should stop giving her attention. Why? She's got bored of you, because you aren't enough of a challenge. You go and chase other women instead. Forget about her. You've become obsessed with pursuing this one girl. Approach twenty women, and you won't be thinking about this one anymore. I mean it was like only a couple days after her break up so to me it was somewhat understandable, had a feeling id get a no, I just wanted to let her know where I stood. And I continued messaging her cause I like talking with her, wasnt gunna get all angry and disappear, shes still a friend of mine. Maybe she did get bored perhaps, idk. I don't really fall for girls that often so when I find one I like, I put my focus on them
Author Nahcarts Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 You should just not do anything right now until she figures out what she's doing. Most couples break up and get back together at least once. They're probably still communicating. She may have already used you for rebound by letting you know she broke up, but that's okay. She's only human. She has you on her mind. So just let her initiate contact and let her know you want to give her time to really get past the last relationship but to let you know when she is ready to actually date. Otherwise, this could turn into a cry on the shoulder friendzone if she's still hung up on her ex. Yeah that’s what im worried about, wouldn’t be happy about that. But she does know where I stand and that I want to be with her, not just a friend. Actually just messaged me saying sorry for being distant the past week. Thanks for the advice
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