Jump to content

I am in love with you versus ILY?

Gaeta

By Gaeta
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

About a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend of 3 months started saying little things like.

 

* Lets stay home like 2 love birds.

 

Then it turned into:

 

* You're gonna make me fall in love with you even more

 

then Last night he said:

 

* You see why I am so in love with you!

 

I have not reciprocated, I am kind of taken back when he says these things. He also never said ILY so I'm confused.

 

Usually people say ILY first then you wonder did he mean he's in love or he just loves me. In my case it's the opposite, he's in-love with me but does he love me !! Aaarrg!!

introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

Posted
Posted

I think he's testing the waters.... getting ready for the big ILY.

 

Love but not in love usually happens when people have been together a really long time and are no longer feeling that rush of initial emotion. Can also be when the relationship is at its expiration date.

 

In love but not love can mean that love is on the way (my guess in your case) or simply an expression of extreme infatuation, without consideration of the other things that come with truly loving someone.

 

Some people see these terms as interchangeable.

 

I think this will all be made clear in the next month or so!

  • Like 4
wildsunandmoon Member

wildsunandmoon

Posted
Posted

I think you should playfully reply to one of his texts saying "Oh? Do you really? ;P"

sunshine2 Established Member

sunshine2

Posted
Posted

Kind of soon for ILY. My last BF told me at 2 months and I wasn't there yet and in the end he was just someone who didn't want to be alone and probably said that to every women he dated. I don't know if this is good so soon in the relationship.

  • Author
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I think you should playfully reply to one of his texts saying "Oh? Do you really? ;P"

 

He only says these thing when we are together. And that gets my heart raising and I become mute lol

Lorenza Established Member

Lorenza

Posted
Posted

Saying ILY in the beginning of the relationship still means "I'm in love with you". It's still the chemistry of a new relationship, so it doesn't even matter how it's put into words. Still means "my brain is high on oxitocin when I'm with you".

  • Like 3
  • Author
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I think he's testing the waters.... getting ready for the big ILY.

 

Love but not in love usually happens when people have been together a really long time and are no longer feeling that rush of initial emotion. Can also be when the relationship is at its expiration date.

 

In love but not love can mean that love is on the way (my guess in your case) or simply an expression of extreme infatuation, without consideration of the other things that come with truly loving someone.

 

Some people see these terms as interchangeable.

 

I think this will all be made clear in the next month or so!

 

You're making a good point. It could be his way of expressing how much he is infatuated. That would explain no ILY. I am sure he knows ILY is a big commitment and you have to be sure.

  • Like 1
jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted

I think he's looking for some positive feedback from you before jumping in w/both feet, G. (Might be kinda perplexed right now if you haven't told him it's ok to say it in so many words.)

  • Like 2
AMJ Established Member

AMJ

Posted
Posted

 

* You're gonna make me fall in love with you even more

 

then Last night he said:

 

* You see why I am so in love with you!

 

I have not reciprocated, I am kind of taken back when he says these things. He also never said ILY so I'm confused.

!

 

To me this is the same as saying I love you. He's probably disappointed you didn't say it in return..

  • Like 3
Summer3 Established Member

Summer3

Posted
Posted
About a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend of 3 months started saying little things like.

 

* Lets stay home like 2 love birds.

 

Then it turned into:

 

* You're gonna make me fall in love with you even more

 

then Last night he said:

 

* You see why I am so in love with you!

 

I have not reciprocated, I am kind of taken back when he says these things. He also never said ILY so I'm confused.

 

Usually people say ILY first then you wonder did he mean he's in love or he just loves me. In my case it's the opposite, he's in-love with me but does he love me !! Aaarrg!!

 

Your boyfriend sounds romantic. :love:

  • Like 2
  • Author
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Your boyfriend sounds romantic. :love:

 

You should all, at least once in your life, date a man from France :D

  • Like 4
PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

Posted
Posted

I'm probably completely wrong but I always assumed being in love is one step further to ILY? I sometimes say ILY to various members of my family / very close friends but I can't ever see myself telling them I am in love with them + as a half-Frenchie, I'd assume he means he's really in too deep. And yeah, French guys rock (some of them anyway...!).

 

Enjoy, Gaeta :).

  • Like 1
Mrin Established Member

Mrin

Posted
Posted

Dude here.

 

I see no difference between saying ILY and proclaiming that he's so in love with you. If I were him I'd be all like "wtf?"

  • Like 4
PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

Posted
Posted
Dude here.

 

I see no difference between saying ILY and proclaiming that he's so in love with you. If I were him I'd be all like "wtf?"

 

Yeah but he's the one saying it + he's French!

hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

Posted
Posted

It's a precursor for saying ILY. He's feeling it and gearing up for it while feeling you out. My bf started making those kinds of remarks at about 3 1/2-4 months until I finally just asked him if he was saying he loved me. He said yes and from that point on, it has been ILY's all the time.

AMJ Established Member

AMJ

Posted
Posted
You should all, at least once in your life, date a man from France :D

 

And Brazil...Argentina...Spain...lol. :love:

rester Established Member

rester

Posted
Posted
I think he's testing the waters.... getting ready for the big ILY.

 

To me this is the same as saying I love you. He's probably disappointed you didn't say it in return..

 

Dude here.

 

I see no difference between saying ILY and proclaiming that he's so in love with you. If I were him I'd be all like "wtf?"

 

It's a precursor for saying ILY. He's feeling it and gearing up for it while feeling you out.

 

Just going to quote the above as that's what my thoughts are.

Summer3 Established Member

Summer3

Posted
Posted
You should all, at least once in your life, date a man from France :D

 

LOL! I'll tell my husband to pretend he's French. :cool:

yxalitis Established Member

yxalitis

Posted
Posted
You should all, at least once in your life, date a man from France :D

Yeah, I did that, the sex was awful...NO VAGINA...horror...

He was romantic though...

  • Like 1
zenguy Member

zenguy

Posted
Posted

It's interesting the amount of people downplaying what he said.

 

No, he actually said "I love you". Just in other ways.

Miss Peach Established Member

Miss Peach

Posted
Posted
You should all, at least once in your life, date a man from France :D

 

I'm not sure if you know this but the word for like and love (aimer) is the same in French. I vote that he's testing the waters.

  • Author
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm not sure if you know this but the word for like and love (aimer) is the same in French. I vote that he's testing the waters.

 

Yes I know, I am also French. I am French Canadian and he is French from France.

 

We have no word for 'like', we 'love' everything.

 

I was thinking about everyone's answer and I think I will mirror him. Next time he does something sweet, which is often, I'll say: and that's why I am so in love with you too.

 

 

  • Like 1
BlueIris Established Member

BlueIris

Posted
Posted
About a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend of 3 months started saying little things like.

 

* Lets stay home like 2 love birds.

 

Then it turned into:

 

* You're gonna make me fall in love with you even more

 

then Last night he said:

 

* You see why I am so in love with you!

 

I have not reciprocated, I am kind of taken back when he says these things. He also never said ILY so I'm confused.

 

Usually people say ILY first then you wonder did he mean he's in love or he just loves me. In my case it's the opposite, he's in-love with me but does he love me !! Aaarrg!!

 

He isn't saying it the right way? Or you don't want him to be falling in love with you?

  • Author
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
  • Author
Posted
He isn't saying it the right way? Or you don't want him to be falling in love with you?

 

I am wondering if his ' I am so in love with you' are just flirting ? and an ILY would be a clearer statement for me. If that makes sense?

 

Yes I do want him to fall for me.

RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

Posted
Posted

Well you will have to update us once you find out more :)

 

When I don't want to say "I love you" (because I dont) but want to show affection I will say "I love the way you say that" or do, or look or make me feel, or what ever.... I will love an action, I will "love" things they do, but I am careful not to say "I love you"

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...