louise6 Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Me and my ex had been together for over a year and had an amazing relationship, everyone would say how in love we looked and that we would always be the one couple that lasted. Apparently not. We lived close for about 6 months of our relationship and saw each other regularly, however I then moved about an hour and a half away so we didn't see each other much. We tried to stay at each others places at least once a week but, as we both worked a lot of weekends, we barely saw each other at weekends and when we did, we also used the time to catch up with his family. This wasn't too much of a problem but it did cause a few little disagreements as to not spending much time just us. None of this was a big deal though and we were always happy together. I was leaving my job an moving back down to where he lived and I told him I had started looking for jobs and that I wanted to settle down in one place - I've not lived in 1 town for longer than a year for the past 5 years due to university and jobs - so I wanted a place to call home for good now. I think he took it that I wanted to settle down and get married and have babies right now as he suddenly said he couldn't so this any more. He is 18 and I am 23, so I understand he isn't ready for that but neither am I and I wasn't expecting it. Previously he had always been the one saying how he wanted to live with me, get married and spend the rest of his life with me, not the other way round, although I thought he would be who I spent my life with. The next day he messaged me saying he had made a mistake but didn't say he wanted to get back together. We messaged for a while and then met up, where he said he wanted to be friends and see where things went, but then when we left he said he didn't want to get back together. Then a few more weeks passed and I met him at his and we slept together, he said he felt like something was missing but was willing to take baby steps to get back together, but never did anything after that. I then went no contact for a month over christmas, and he messaged me pretty much every day. I then quit my job after christmas and he messaged me about that and I messaged back, he wanted to meet but then never finalised any plans so I stopped talking to him again, then we started messaging again and he begged me to be friends but I told him I couldn't. Then we finally had some real closure and went our seperate ways, or so I thought, he messaged me a few weeks later about a TV show that we used to watch together and that they had been to a place we went on holiday together but I ignored him and he didn't message again. He then put up a picture form a night out with him, his best mate and some random girl, this did really hurt but I tried not to let it get to me, what bothered me more was that he then took the photo down again a few days later, and that messed with my head more, why did he take it down?! Since breaking up I have lost 2 stone and got into good shape, I dyed my hair, quit my job and am generally in a much better place - I really wasnt living at my old place and at my old job - and so I have been putting more outfit pictures on Instagram as I feel really good and I went out the other night and put a picture up which he liked. I don't understand why he liked it as we haven't been in any contact and he hasn't liked anything else I have put up, its really confused me. Because we live so far away from each other - he has now moved 2 hours away - we haven't seen each other since November. I know I will probably see him in May as I am working at the same place he will be, but I don't know how he is feeling or if there would be any chance of us getting back together? He told me he needed to mature, which I totally respect, but I miss him like mad and don't understand why we aren't together as we were so amazing together and I love him so much. Please can anyone give me advice on this confusing situation? I'm in a better place but still can't fully move on for some reason. 1
Toodaloo Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Its over. If you get back together with him he will waste your time and break up with you again. Don't do it. Just go and live your life and start afresh with someone else. Don't waste it. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 When you started dating him he was a 17 year old child probably still in high school while you were studying at university. You were at very different places in your lives. If you couldn't keep it together over a distance of 1.5 hours, you couldn't keep it together forever. This was a fun romance but now it's over. It's time for him to go to university & for you to date men at your own level, out of college. Start taking care of yourself. Stop losing weight. Hang in there.
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