Nivy Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) Hello guys, I am 23years old female from India. I have (or should I say had) a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. Before my exams he sent me a Parker Pen as a token of good luck. I always knew he liked cookies, so after my exams were over, I baked a box full of cookies for him. Now just before I was going to send it to him, he told me not to send it coz he doesn't like gifts or anything. I thought, he might be happy after getting it and I couriered it anyway. After receiving the package, he blocked me everywhere and told me not to contact him again. I mailed him saying that I was sorry but he didn't listen. After a day, he had unblocked me but didn't talk to me. I kept on texting him, calling him but everything went unanswered. This continued for 3 weeks until 4 days back I nagged the **** out of him. I constantly begged and pleaded for an hour and that enraged him. He told me that I was now harassing him and it was his biggest mistake that he unblocked me. He even said that "I've learnt a great lesson now". And then again he blocked me everywhere. He blocked my calls too. Then I wrote him a mail stating how embarrassed I was about my behavior. He then replied "I am not in state to love.....I'll tell you everything one day....till then don't contact me." I didn't contact him since that day. I am trying to go for NC but its hard. I uninstalled whatsapp. I don't check facebook. But I have to be on twitter coz I help trending contents there. In twitter I find it hard not to check his profile. I click on his name and find me blocked everyday. I was holding up good since yesterday but today I have this strong urge of contacting him. So, I joined this forum and I hope you all can give me a little insight into how to handle all of this situation and all. Thank you everybody Edited March 4, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed name (Robert) and added paragraphs (William)
Jasejasejase Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Don't do it hun ... Don't contact him Anymore and don't beat yourself up for nagging him. My ex did exactly the same ... Ignored me and made me send text after text. Made me feel like a stalker. I also uninstalled what's ap. Im on day 8 of no contact and also struggling today. It's the worst feeling in the world isn't IT? I'd rather have a broken leg
Author Nivy Posted February 29, 2016 Author Posted February 29, 2016 It kills me sometime. I am trying and keeping myself busy but the heart is sooo heavy right now! I am soo glad you commented. Thank you sooooo much. Lots of love and support
Jasejasejase Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You are welcome. I posted as I know exactly the place you're in as im In the same place right now. I bet people keep telling you that IT just takes time and that your heart will be less heavy. It just doesn't feel like that at the moment does it?
harassed Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Oh this is great! great, i can see this is going to be helpful for me.
Jasejasejase Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Sarcasm? Im just trying to explain im In the same position and finding it hard to see light at the end of the tunnel
harassed Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You don't really care for the man at all though. I mean, you were played and left without closure. if he was honest and straight forward then you wouldn't be strugling so much. Sorry about my grammar, I am from out of country and still learning the languarge! I am sorry he was a jerk and you feel responsible.
contel3 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 My guess is he didn't want you to send the cookies because he didn't want someone to see it. Maybe his family or a secret girlfriend. Every time you want to text him keep in mind how disrespectful this guy has been. He blocked you without any explanation. Take a deep breath and be strong! You will get over him. I know you can do it! I'm really sorry this happened to you. Remember true closure comes from within. You have no reason to contact this guy ever again.
TheScientist Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Hello guys, I am 23years old female from India. I have (or should I say had) a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. Before my exams he sent me a Parker Pen as a token of good luck. I always knew he liked cookies, so after my exams were over, I baked a box full of cookies for him. Now just before I was going to send it to him, he told me not to send it coz he doesn't like gifts or anything. I thought, he might be happy after getting it and I couriered it anyway. After receiving the package, he blocked me everywhere and told me not to contact him again. I mailed him saying that I was sorry but he didn't listen. After a day, he had unblocked me but didn't talk to me. I kept on texting him, calling him but everything went unanswered. This continued for 3 weeks until 4 days back I nagged the **** out of him. I constantly begged and pleaded for an hour and that enraged him. He told me that I was now harassing him and it was his biggest mistake that he unblocked me. He even said that "I've learnt a great lesson now". And then again he blocked me everywhere. He blocked my calls too. Then I wrote him a mail stating how embarrassed I was about my behavior. He then replied "I am not in state to love.....I'll tell you everything one day....till then don't contact me." I didn't contact him since that day. I am trying to go for NC but its hard. I uninstalled whatsapp. I don't check facebook. But I have to be on twitter coz I help trending contents there. In twitter I find it hard not to check his profile. I click on his name and find me blocked everyday. I was holding up good since yesterday but today I have this strong urge of contacting him. So, I joined this forum and I hope you all can give me a little insight into how to handle all of this situation and all. Thank you everybody Hey! Is he married, or perhaps has very strict parents? That was my first thought!
Author Nivy Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 I am not even able to share it with friends because I sometimes feel they won't understand and that's why I started writing here. I felt there are more people who are going through this exact phase and will be able to understand. Yes this is soooo hard. Every day I go to his twitter profile and find myself blocked. It breaks my heart but I dunno why I keep doing that. When I go to check his profile, I could hear myself scream ffrom inside "Don't Do this" but I just can't control my fingers! This is sooo hard. I don't know why breaking hearts aren't yet illegal.
Author Nivy Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 You are welcome. I posted as I know exactly the place you're in as im In the same place right now. I bet people keep telling you that IT just takes time and that your heart will be less heavy. It just doesn't feel like that at the moment does it? I am not even able to share it with friends because I sometimes feel they won't understand and that's why I started writing here. I felt there are more people who are going through this exact phase and will be able to understand. Yes this is soooo hard. Every day I go to his twitter profile and find myself blocked. It breaks my heart but I dunno why I keep doing that. When I go to check his profile, I could hear myself scream ffrom inside "Don't Do this" but I just can't control my fingers! This is sooo hard. I don't know why breaking hearts aren't yet illegal.
Author Nivy Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 You don't really care for the man at all though. I mean, you were played and left without closure. if he was honest and straight forward then you wouldn't be strugling so much. Sorry about my grammar, I am from out of country and still learning the languarge! I am sorry he was a jerk and you feel responsible. It hurts how we care for them and they never think twice before hurting us soo bad! 1
Author Nivy Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 My guess is he didn't want you to send the cookies because he didn't want someone to see it. Maybe his family or a secret girlfriend. Every time you want to text him keep in mind how disrespectful this guy has been. He blocked you without any explanation. Take a deep breath and be strong! You will get over him. I know you can do it! I'm really sorry this happened to you. Remember true closure comes from within. You have no reason to contact this guy ever again. He told me he lived with his father and they were quite friendly and frank withe each other.....!!!!
Author Nivy Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 Hey! Is he married, or perhaps has very strict parents? That was my first thought! No he is not married and his father is a very gentle man who was never against anything of this sort.....he was very friendly with his dad!
harassed Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 who cares anyways .. there are lots of men! go find a new one
Jasejasejase Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Hi nivy I know hun .. I know how tough it is. All I can say is i wish there was a magic switch where you could just stop thinking about him. I would be using it too. Keep talking, keep venting. I guess we're all in this together. Day 9 of no contact for me and still a mess.
Author Nivy Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 Hi nivy I know hun .. I know how tough it is. All I can say is i wish there was a magic switch where you could just stop thinking about him. I would be using it too. Keep talking, keep venting. I guess we're all in this together. Day 9 of no contact for me and still a mess. I just couldn't control it anymore and sent him a mail yesterday but as usual he didn't reply. I am feeling like an idiot right now! I don't know how I'm going to move on.........
harassed Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Or you can hire an investigator to find out.. If it's killing you all that badly then get closure.. It's not like you need to know, he doesn't want to be with you! it's no big deal but if you need to stop torturing yourself then do something to find your answer.. you are pathetic for needing answers but if it helps you move on, id rather comfort the OMG he doesn't like me then the why why why.. the why why why is whats killing you for sure.. I mean the truth is, they move on ! and so do you..
harassed Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I have to tell you something, I was like OMG life is over and I tried to climb but people were really mean to me and I didn't understand why. i was the worst case scinareo, the "invisible" who cares.. I mean I sat alone for THREE years and all i had was computer trolls and trust me, i would have been better without them. I felt like no matter what I did life wasn't going to improve but the key is to keep banging on doors until one opens! i am thick skinned and have been through EVERYTHING! Including dumped (yay) .. It's not so bad, it happens it happens, you move on! You needs to get properly dumped. So anyways get closure and we can chat!
William Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Folks, I merged a similarly focused thread from the thread starter and retitled this thread to reflect their current thinking on the matter. Please discuss this topic in this thread. There may be some duplicate content. Thanks!
PegNosePete Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Why are you asking us when he has quite clearly told you? "It was a mistake that I unblocked you. It's my fault that I unblocked you. You are literally harassing me now. Go away from my life." That is exactly what he was thinking when you contacted him. Do men really hate pleading and begging? It doesn't matter how "men" in general perceive it. All that matters is what this one particular man thinks. And he has told you quite plainly in the text I quoted above. Leave him alone. Sorry to say this, but he is not interested in speaking to you ever again. You need to let him go. Don't turn into a bunny boiler. 5
Blanco Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Seems clear-cut to me. He's been upfront that he doesn't want you to contact him, and you've ignored that. Multiple times. At this point, you're more of a crazy ex to him than someone he would want to be with romantically. Not saying you're crazy, but your behavior described is harassment, and he's done everything short of getting a restraining order against you to show you that he wants you away from his life. 3
Toodaloo Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I am not a man and I can see you were way too pushy. He asks you not to send things and you send them anyway. He asks you not to call and you call anyway. Stop. Leave him alone. You are dangerously close to being a full on stalker. Do not ever contact him again. 2
Redhead14 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I'll give a small overview of what happened. I sent him a courier that he told me not to and since the day he received it he blocked me everywhere possible. A day after that he unblocked me but didn't talk. I also didn't push him much. But few days back I kept on pleading and begging. I literally nagged him a lot. That I think got him irritated and he blocked me again saying "It was a mistake that I unblocked you. It's my fault that I unblocked you. You are literally harassing me now. Go away from my life." and blocked me immediately everywhere. After this incident I mailed him saying how sorry and embarrassed I am for all these to which he replied "I am not in a position to love right now. I'll tell you later about it but till then don't ever try to contact me." I tried my best not to contact him but after 5 days of this incident I again mailed him to which he didn't reply. Everyday I wake up checking whether he unblocked me or not. I find myself blocked and it tears my heart apart. All I want to know from all them men here is WHAT DO YOU THINK JUST HAPPENED WITH HIM? What was he thinking when I was pleading? Do you think he ever thinks of me (coz he hasn't contacted me yet)? And lastly.......any chances of reconciliation? Do men really hate pleading and begging? How would have you reacted? No one likes begging and pleading. Leave him alone. It's very unbecoming to you as well. There won't be any chance of reconciliation if you don't respect his wishes to start with. What was he thinking when I was pleading? -- "You are literally harassing me now."
Apparition Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I hate the perception some people have. Men are not all the same. Some men are racist, some men are sexist, some men are pigs, some men are snobs, some men are a*sholes, some men are kind, some men are clingy, some men are players, some men cheat, some men don't. All men do not think the same. Just like all women do not think the same. We are people, human beings, individuals with our own thinking processes and our own thinking patterns. Your guy sounds like a d*ck for blocking you but I'm sure he had his own reasons for blocking you and even if they are a*shole reasons, they're his, not mine just because I'm a man. No one can tell you how he feels or thinks, only he can. But he blocked you, so maybe it is time to focus your attention on healing. If you get back together one day, great, but do not make that your goal in life. You have other things to do like living. 3
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