Amas5750 Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Hi, I'm female and 30. I've been dating a great man (we are in love) for 5.5 months..... Problem is- im baby obsessed now. He tells me he loves and and wants kids with me but that 5 months is not a long time and its not the time yet for us. How can i stop being clucky. Do u think he is reasonable? Am i unreasonable to day i want to start trying within a year? He doesn't want to put a "timeline" on it. He says when it's right we will have kids. Im scared cos i got a divorce 14 months ago amd im all a bit crazy from It. I.e. fear/ anger a bit I know i'm being emotinally charged and i can hear my bio clock craving a baby. How do i just cool it? ? Advic e? ??
AMJ Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 5 months is pretty soon to be deciding to have a baby together. But you should see things in the relationship progressing somewhere. When things are going nowhere, that's a problem. By the time women are 30, most of us know whether we want kids or not. Men take a little bit longer to figure that out sometimes. But he may not want kids at all and could just string you along. Timing is everything in relationships! He could just need more time, or he may never want the things you want.
basil67 Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Yes, it's too soon. A baby isn't like a wedding which can be undone for a divorce - it's forever and (I believe) should involve a long more consideration. Now, while I'm the first to suggest women shouldn't put off having a baby, at 30 you've still got a good 4-5 years before your fertility starts to plummet. Give it another year and then see how you feel.
Raena Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 You have plenty of time to make a decision about a baby. I didn't have my son until I was 36 and it all worked out very well. All I'm saying is, just because you hit 30 doesn't mean you have to have a child right this very minute. It can wait a year or two until you get to know this man better. 1
still_an_Angel Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 You're in a new relationship, he may be great now but this relationship hasn't been tested properly, it takes time before the true colors come out. Having a baby is very serious, do you want a baby to fulfill you or meet a child's needs?
katiegrl Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) Hi, I'm female and 30. I've been dating a great man (we are in love) for 5.5 months..... Problem is- im baby obsessed now. He tells me he loves and and wants kids with me but that 5 months is not a long time and its not the time yet for us. How can i stop being clucky. Do u think he is reasonable? Am i unreasonable to day i want to start trying within a year? He doesn't want to put a "timeline" on it. He says when it's right we will have kids. Im scared cos i got a divorce 14 months ago amd im all a bit crazy from It. I.e. fear/ anger a bit I know i'm being emotinally charged and i can hear my bio clock craving a baby. ---- **How do i just cool it? ? ^^You cool it by realizing if you DON'T cool it, you run the risk of pushing your boyfriend right out the door, cuz seriously girl, 5.5 months in is WAY too soon to be discussing this!! Leaving you alone, single and starting from scratch once again, searching for yet another boyfriend...which could take a long time. Slow down! Edited March 7, 2016 by katiegrl 2
preraph Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Are you nuts? You don't have a baby with a man you've only known for a few months! Think of the child.
kendahke Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 He is being completely reasonable. You're still in the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship, let alone being on your honeymoon after your marriage. If you need a baby that badly you can always use a sperm donor clinic and raise it on your own. What you are talking about is using and altering the life of someone you barely know just to satisfy your need to have a baby and that's not right. And quite frankly, if you're still messed up from your divorce, then perhaps it's a bit too soon for you to be in a relationship at all.
AndOrchid Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 14 months since divorce and dating for 5.5 months now. How long were you married for? You started this relationship only 9 months after your divorce. You admit you're "a bit crazy" from it still. You cool it by recognizing that you're not ready for another relationship, let alone a baby, at this point. A baby is a big responsibility, it's not something you do to try and make yourself feel better.
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