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Love is crazy ..

AJWS0928

By AJWS0928
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AJWS0928 New Member

AJWS0928

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I'm beyond in love with my boyfriend, but it always feels like he's pushing me away. He doesn't like when I talk about my feelings, or anything like that. It's been an emotional roller coaster this whole relationship, I have been nothing but loyal and nice to this boy, but he always assumes that I'm cheating, I've never done anything to make him assume this. I treat him with respect but I feel like he's walking all over me and doesn't respect me or love me like I love him. He's always telling me "I'm tired of this relationship I want to be in it but at the same time I do" or "I want you but I don't want to be in a relationship with you." We've broken up countless amounts of times but we always get back together, but he claims to not want me, I don't understand. I need to know what could make things better between me and my boyfriend? How can I fix this relationship? Why is it so hard to let go?

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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I'm beyond in love with my boyfriend, but it always feels like he's pushing me away. He doesn't like when I talk about my feelings, or anything like that. It's been an emotional roller coaster this whole relationship, I have been nothing but loyal and nice to this boy, but he always assumes that I'm cheating, I've never done anything to make him assume this. I treat him with respect but I feel like he's walking all over me and doesn't respect me or love me like I love him. He's always telling me "I'm tired of this relationship I want to be in it but at the same time I do" or "I want you but I don't want to be in a relationship with you." We've broken up countless amounts of times but we always get back together, but he claims to not want me, I don't understand. I need to know what could make things better between me and my boyfriend? How can I fix this relationship? Why is it so hard to let go?

 

I responded in your other thread.

 

Having read this, you need to start to understand that the relationship isn't fixable, nor should you be trying to force it to happen. He isn't good for you and has directly told you he doesn't want to be your boyfriend anymore.

 

You simply cannot fix things if he doesn't want to. The writing is on the wall here, OP. Time to start detaching and recognizing your own self-worth. Never chase someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings.

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AJWS0928 New Member

AJWS0928

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Thanks for the advice!! maybe that's true, maybe I should just leave him alone.

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Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Thanks for the advice!! maybe that's true, maybe I should just leave him alone.

 

Not maybe, you should and must walk away. There is no fixing this. He's established countless times that he cannot give you what you want.

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mrldii Established Member

mrldii

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Based on your OP, OP, why exactly do you love him?!?

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Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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but he always assumes that I'm cheating

 

I read your other thread. Cheaters will project their own behavior on their partner. Blameshift to take the focus of themselves.

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AJWS0928 New Member

AJWS0928

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Based on your OP, OP, why exactly do you love him?!?

 

 

Someone asked why I loved him, I loved him because to me he was perfect, he was my everything and I absolutely adore everything about him. At first he treated me like a queen and I had never been treated like that, he made me happier than anyone. He texted me every morning with cute texts "goodmorning beautiful" or cute little short paragraphs that weren't much but always made me so happy. He was my sunshine on all my cloudy days. I know I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, but he always made me feel like I could be. I felt like he'd give me the world if I asked for it. Then as time when on he lost interest in me, shortened texts, no love being shown, I started to realize he didn't like me anymore so I tried harder. I love(d) him with all my heart, and that's a little bit of the reason I loved him.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Someone asked why I loved him, I loved him because to me he was perfect, he was my everything and I absolutely adore everything about him. At first he treated me like a queen and I had never been treated like that, he made me happier than anyone. He texted me every morning with cute texts "goodmorning beautiful" or cute little short paragraphs that weren't much but always made me so happy. He was my sunshine on all my cloudy days. I know I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, but he always made me feel like I could be. I felt like he'd give me the world if I asked for it. Then as time when on he lost interest in me, shortened texts, no love being shown, I started to realize he didn't like me anymore so I tried harder. I love(d) him with all my heart, and that's a little bit of the reason I loved him.

 

OP, you should look up Love Addiction and Anxious/Insecure Attachment.

 

I don't say that to be unkind; I really think you will find some answers as to why you're finding it so hard to let go. I believe finding those answers will help you to ultimately move on.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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Posted

Snip

Someone asked why I loved him, *I loved him because to me he was perfect, he was my everything and I absolutely adore everything about him.

 

This isn't love.

 

It's an unhealthy dysfunctional attachment.

 

Its addiction and dependency.

 

I do hope that you eventually find out what love is, because its something infinitely more profound than what you think love is.

 

 

Take care.

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mrldii Established Member

mrldii

Posted
Posted
Someone asked why I loved him, I loved him because to me he was perfect, he was my everything and I absolutely adore everything about him. At first he treated me like a queen and I had never been treated like that, he made me happier than anyone. He texted me every morning with cute texts "goodmorning beautiful" or cute little short paragraphs that weren't much but always made me so happy. He was my sunshine on all my cloudy days. I know I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, but he always made me feel like I could be. I felt like he'd give me the world if I asked for it. Then as time when on he lost interest in me, shortened texts, no love being shown, I started to realize he didn't like me anymore so I tried harder. I love(d) him with all my heart, and that's a little bit of the reason I loved him.

 

Oh. You fell in love with him, because he made you feel and think that he was in love with you.

 

Since it was all based on feelings and thoughts (based on his actions), the moment he stopped making you feel like he was in love with you, you should have done the same in return with him.

 

After all, if it's that easy for a guy to make you feel/think he loves you, it should be just as easy to stop feeling and thinking it, when he stops...yanno?

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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Once a person tells you they don't want you, you need to block them and never even talk again. If they tell you that and you stay around, now they have every excuse to assume you will put up with any amount of disrespect and pain.

 

Him continuing to stay involved despite the cruel things he says is just him having a little dependence problem and also not wanting to lose sex. It's not about you. It's about him. You can certainly do much better. Make him go away and don't give in to theatrics when you cut him off.

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