Wewon Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) You do nothing. If this goes sideways in any way, even if he rejects you and you have to deal with the awkwardness, you get to go right back to being an 18 year old girl and he gets to live with the side-eye and suspicion of the whole situation. Edited March 7, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Grumpybutfun Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Cassandra, how is your relationship with your father? What is the underlying root of this attraction? Best, G 1
truth_seeker Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 I'm going to take a different approach. I think Cassandra should test the professor out. Wear really sexy clothing to class... something that shows off your cleavage... I'm talking head-turning, jaw-dropping, tongue-wagging outfits. Lets see how the professor handles it... I bet he'll be encouraging Cassandra to stop by his office after class for some extra credit work 1
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 He might feel the same way. How can I tell? And we are both single adults! I get it You are 18. You are an adult. But trust me, in his eyes you are a child. How do you tell if he likes you too? You wait . . . 4 whole long years. Then you see what happens after you graduate. If you genuinely like this man, you should want to protect his career by not doing anything that could cause him to lose his job.
AMJ Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 This isn't a romantic crush. Yes, he's attractive, but that's not why you like him. Be honest with yourself, do you actually want this really old man to rip your clothes off and hook up in his office? Picture that happening. That's not what you want. You want that to happen with one or two or even five of the hot guys your own age in your class, or in your dorm. Your interest in him is like this. He treats you like an adult. He's probably the first man in your entire life who takes you seriously, maybe shows an interest in you academically, and does not treat you like a little girl. You don't even think of yourself as a grown woman yet, so being treated with that much respect is very, very attractive, and it's lighting up a bunch of feelings that you've never experienced. You've had very few interactions with men his age. Most of your teachers until now have been women. Whatever your relationship with your own father is, is relevant, but the point is that your dad treats you like a little girl. Not like a woman. The fact that he doesn't look like a dad, and that he's attractive, is making this confusing. If he were a woman, you'd think nothing was strange about your interactions with him. He respects you, he does not want to sleep with you or date you. He had to work very hard to be a university professor. He would not jeopardize his entire career and life's work to have sex with girl young enough to be his daughter. He's probably married or in a relationship with someone closer to his age.
Author cassandra1997 Posted March 7, 2016 Author Posted March 7, 2016 I guess I'm fantasizing more about some cuddling... after that I would see what happens.
Popsicle Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 I am freshman in college. I am 18 and I am taking biology. My professor for the spring semester is in his mid-fifties and divorced. First of all he is really cute in my opinion. He's over six feet, very athletic, broad shouldered, full hair of (mostly grey) hair, blue eyes, really nice big hands. Also he's very intelligent, mature and funny. I've gone to his office a few times and he's really a gentlemen. Also, he's very close to his three young children and sees them weekly. He has photos all over his office. I am really having strong feelings for him. What am I supposed to do with this? I just don't feel like dating anyone else although I get plenty of offers. This is not at all uncommon. You probably aren't the only student attracted to him either, considering that all you do is sit there for hours each week just staring at him.
AMJ Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 I guess I'm fantasizing more about some cuddling... after that I would see what happens. Aww how cute. Young dove, grown men do not fantasize about cuddling. Just don't do anything stupid like profess your love for him in an email. Or flirt with him. Don't do it. Pay attention in his class, get a good grade, and find a cute guy your own age. 3
Popsicle Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Aww how cute. Young dove, grown men do not fantasize about cuddling. Au contraire, there was a study done that concluded that men like cuddling and kissing more than women do. 1
GorillaTheater Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 He had to work very hard to be a university professor. He would not jeopardize his entire career and life's work to have sex with girl young enough to be his daughter. You'd think so, wouldn't you? Yet every year I deal with faculty who chose poorly.
SammySammy Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 This is not at all uncommon. You probably aren't the only student attracted to him either, considering that all you do is sit there for hours each week just staring at him. You're right. Having taught at a college, I know this is not uncommon at all. He probably knows she's attracted to him. He's seen the look and the tell-tale signs before. She's not the first. Won't be the last. However, if he's professional and at all concerned about his job, he's not going to let it develop into anything. 1
NYC-BigKat Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 It doesn't matter that the semester is over. As long as the OP is enrolled as a student at the institution where the professor teaches he will lose his job if he dates her. It's also not a matter of who she wants to date. The other person has to want to date her too. It's highly unlikely that her professor sees her in a romantic way. To him she is a student & a child. Um...what proof do u have of him feeling this way? Have u spoken to him?
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Um...what proof do u have of him feeling this way? Have u spoken to him? Of course I haven't spoken to him but statistics are on my side. More importantly, the OPs own words & description of how her professor acts towards her indicate that he is professional & she has a school girl crush. Even if he does want to date her, he can't, without losing his job.
NYC-BigKat Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Of course I haven't spoken to him but statistics are on my side. More importantly, the OPs own words & description of how her professor acts towards her indicate that he is professional & she has a school girl crush. Even if he does want to date her, he can't, without losing his job. That's why she should wait a little bit u know. If she likes older guys there's nothing wrong with that! I don't think people should make her like young guys if she just doesn't like them like she does older guys .
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 lets also mention among his peers/friends and family he would be the laughing stock......he's no idiot. He wouldn't put his reputation on the line dating a teenage girl at his age. Plus why would he want to go through that kind of humiliation just for a little titillation? 1
truth_seeker Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 He probably knows she's attracted to him. He's seen the look and the tell-tale signs before. So have I seen the "look" and "tell-tale signs" but women then tell me I'm paranoid or reading the signals wrong.
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 That's why she should wait a little bit u know. If she likes older guys there's nothing wrong with that! I don't think people should make her like young guys if she just doesn't like them like she does older guys . Older guys say late twenties/early thirties......
truth_seeker Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 That's why she should wait a little bit u know. If she likes older guys there's nothing wrong with that! I don't think people should make her like young guys if she just doesn't like them like she does older guys . I've known some younger women who would only date guys their Dad's age. Younger guys their own age wouldn't do it for them... something do with not having a strong relationship with their father's?
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 That's why she should wait a little bit u know. If she likes older guys there's nothing wrong with that! I don't think people should make her like young guys if she just doesn't like them like she does older guys . I never commented on her dating older guys. I said, it's unlikely that this professor sees her as more than a student but that if she does like him & if she cares about his career, she needs to wait until she graduates.
Cherryz Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Often we blame the adults. But sometimes we forget that teens your age can be pretty messy and troublemakers. Seducing older man and so on. And act stupid or innocent once the adult gets in trouble. You do NOTHING! You there to get your diploma. And not to make trouble and drama and mess with teachers. You probably will have feelings for 100000000 peoples before you die. So you dont need to go after every feeling you feel. Stop think about him, and make do what you there for, your diploma. See this also as a exercise for when you start working. You cant go mess with your boss and manager either!
ses Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 I remember having a minor crush on a visiting TA from another university. He was a doctoral student and was only a few years older so it was easy to relate to him. The crush was great motivation to study hard and get an A in his course, and any feelings I might've had dissipated when I found out he was getting married the week after the semester ended. What an honest relief. Many years prior I was a senior English dept aide infatuated with a freshman English teacher. Although I was 18 and he must've been in his early 20's, I wouldn't have asked him out until I graduated that year. I'm sure it was amusing for him to see how flustered I would get when the copy machine malfunctioned and he had to help me. Most faculty handbooks prohibit intimate relationships between faculty (professors/TAs) and students due the to power imbalance. Even when the semester ends it's not worth the risk of sexual assault/coercion rumors if things go awry. I know things do happen but it doesn't reflect well on anyone.
Lorenza Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 That's why she should wait a little bit u know. If she likes older guys there's nothing wrong with that! I don't think people should make her like young guys if she just doesn't like them like she does older guys . An 18-years old girl is basically a child. I don't think she has enough adult life experience to differenciate between real life and fantasy. The age and experience gap between an 18-years old and a 50-years old is way too big for such a relationship to be in any way healthy. There are girls who feel they're too mature for guys their age, but I doubt OP is very mature deciding from her silly wish to seduce her professor and cause him trouble. Though it'a more than unlikely he would be that stupid to even care about her advances.
Author cassandra1997 Posted March 7, 2016 Author Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) Hold on one second I just found this on youtube! https://youtu.be/ApcvLrRLc7k And this couple is 40 years difference! And my prof looks a lot younger and more of hunk than the guys in these videos. (I think I'm as cute as the girls are.) Edited March 7, 2016 by cassandra1997
AMJ Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Was she wearing a donut on her shirt? What is going on in the world today. Cassandra, you just like the attention that your professor gives you. He treats you like an adult and gives you respect. You've never experienced that before. Just let this one go. Or sit there and admire him for being hot and wonderful, but don't act on it. We don't all have to act on every single crush we've ever had. If you act on this crush, you will embarrass yourself.
truth_seeker Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 I already gave Cassandra the solution... start dressing hotter and see if the Professor notices and makes some moves. Maybe if the Professor makes a move, the fantasy might die out? It could be that Cassandra likes what she can't have... and once it becomes real that the Professor wants her, she will lose interest?
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