She might hold the sex against me

[mattgoodman]

I had a first date Friday night. We ended up having sex. Well sort of. I couldn't really keep it up. It had nothing to do with her, she was very attractive I just couldnt perform

 

All day yesterday she was tetxing me saying she was sorry she was so bad

 

I told her it had nothing to do with her. I asked her on a second date. I said "if i idnt like you would i really wanna take you on a second date?"

 

She said she thinks she is the issue because it's happened before

 

What can i do to correct this!?

[d0nnivain]

There may not be much you can do. Don't pressure her. You asked, if she says yes, great. If not take the no gracefully & move on.

[road]

I had a first date Friday night. We ended up having sex. Well sort of. I couldn't really keep it up. It had nothing to do with her, she was very attractive I just couldnt perform

 

All day yesterday she was tetxing me saying she was sorry she was so bad

 

I told her it had nothing to do with her. I asked her on a second date. I said "if i idnt like you would i really wanna take you on a second date?"

 

She said she thinks she is the issue because it's happened before

 

What can i do to correct this!?

 

 

 

 

She can be telling the truth about it happening before. Or using it as an excuse to let you down easy. Either way you can try to ask her out a week from now to see if she has changed her mind though I think it's over between you two.

[mattgoodman]

She can be telling the truth about it happening before. Or using it as an excuse to let you down easy. Either way you can try to ask her out a week from now to see if she has changed her mind though I think it's over between you two.

 

 

she siaid yes to the second date

 

 

i just feel bad that she thinkis i couldnt have sex with her cuz she was disgusting though shes not

[introverted1]

The best "solution" is to quit talking and start doing. On your second date, let your actions tell her how much you find her attractive. This can include sex (and if you can't get/keep it up, do other things to pleasure her), but shouldn't be limited to sex. The way you look at her and touch her (even non-sexually) will go further to express your attraction than engaging in a "yes, you are"/"no, I'm not" debate about her attractiveness.

 

Good luck!

[mattgoodman]

The best "solution" is to quit talking and start doing. On your second date, let your actions tell her how much you find her attractive. This can include sex (and if you can't get/keep it up, do other things to pleasure her), but shouldn't be limited to sex. The way you look at her and touch her (even non-sexually) will go further to express your attraction than engaging in a "yes, you are"/"no, I'm not" debate about her attractiveness.

 

Good luck!

 

 

that makes sense will do this for sure

[preraph]

Best shot would just be to get real. New people having sex together often do not get off because they're nervous and don't know what the other one likes yet. The guy may get off too soon. Internet has given everyone unrealistic ideas about sex, how everyone is supposed to perform this way or that way and it's supposed to be a certain way. It's not.

 

I would just tell her let's not get in a hurry. Let's just relax and have fun. It doesn't matter whether either of you get off the first few times. A sex therapist would tell you to agree NOT to have sex right up front, but cuddle or kiss if you feel like it but agree not to follow through. Do that a few times and get relaxed.