andie1969 Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Or maybe not, maybe something really is wrong. Background, met biyfriend just over a year ago, dated and became "official" in May last year. We are both in Our 40's, divorced, he has a 14 year old son, I have a 13 year old daughter. The weekends we have our kids we always do something together, even if it's just dinner & game night at his house. Also, we usually go to his sons soccer game every sat night. Everything was fine this past week, haven't seen him since Tuesday due to work travel. We last spoke Friday afternoon, nothing wrong at all. That was the last I heard from him until I finally texted him yesterday afternoon. Me: what are you guys up to today? Him: playing video games That was it until I texted again around 6:30 Me: hope you guys had a good day good luck to (sons name) at soccer tonight! Him: thanks Me: not sure what's going on, but you seem off today. I know you're with your son so I won't bug you anymore, but just hoping everything is ok. That's is, no reply, nothing. No update on soccer game & he usually updates throughout if I'm not there for some reason. Of course I'm wracking my brain trying to figure it out, we went away for the weekend together last weekend and had a great time...just so confused. Obviously I know I need to talk to him, but he has his son til 6 tonight so no heavy conversations before that. I'm trying to give him his space, but this is so out of character for him. Sigh...why do I care so much? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I don't think you're necessarily too anxious. It's normal that you care after nearly a year together and of course you'll notice changes in his behaviour. Having said that, I don't think there's a reason to panic yet. Leave him to do his thing for a bit; I'd maybe give him a call tomorrow evening to catch up and see if something's on his mind. 1
Author andie1969 Posted March 6, 2016 Author Posted March 6, 2016 Well my intuition was right, he called & broke up with me. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Wow. Didn't see that coming. Sorry. The small silver lining is that you have good instincts & can trust them. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Well my intuition was right, he called & broke up with me. I'm sorry, OP. What did he say? 1
Author andie1969 Posted March 6, 2016 Author Posted March 6, 2016 It was a 6 minute phone call, he told me he thinks we should just be friends, after a year. I told him that was highly unlikely, I didn't want to be just friends, that I still love him and care about him. He said he's been thinking for a while and just doesn't have that feeling of "taking it to the next level" with me, so I guess that's that. It's over.... 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 It was a 6 minute phone call, he told me he thinks we should just be friends, after a year. I told him that was highly unlikely, I didn't want to be just friends, that I still love him and care about him. He said he's been thinking for a while and just doesn't have that feeling of "taking it to the next level" with me, so I guess that's that. It's over.... I'm sorry, I know you must be hurt and a bit shocked. My sympathies. Did you have any suspicion that he was checking out? 1
Satu Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Another weakling who sticks the knife in over the phone. Do not agree to be his 'friend.' You'll need to learn how not to love him. “O teach me how I should forget to think.” ― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means he might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of him on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying. Take care. 2
whichwayisup Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 It was a 6 minute phone call, he told me he thinks we should just be friends, after a year. I told him that was highly unlikely, I didn't want to be just friends, that I still love him and care about him. He said he's been thinking for a while and just doesn't have that feeling of "taking it to the next level" with me, so I guess that's that. It's over.... Sorry he hurt you. His loss not yours, though I'm sure right now it doesn't feel that way. Be kind to yourself right now. Nothing you did or didn't do make him break up with you, this is about him. No friendship can happen, it's unfair of him to want to still be friends after breaking your heart. He doesn't deserve to have you in his life anymore. 1
Author andie1969 Posted March 6, 2016 Author Posted March 6, 2016 Thanks everyone, yes it's been a blow & ive felt like crap all day. A friend took me out for bloody Marys so that helped a bit. Yes I told him friendship was not an option, how could a rational person think you go from a year long relationship where you're talking about moving in together to being friends?? Seriously! I'm still just stunned because we had such a great time going away last weekend....I feel totally blindsided. I KNOW what I need to do, it's the small matter of convincing my heart :/ 3
thecrucible Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 If he finds it so easy to entertain the idea of staying friends with you after you were both on the road to commitment, then he is worth letting go of in my opinion. It comes across to me kind of cold as if there was as much feeling from him, then he would have found the idea of being friends painful too. I think you should take the time you need to cry and react to the shock then start initiating your new life and plans because he doesn't deserve your tears! 1
Author andie1969 Posted March 7, 2016 Author Posted March 7, 2016 Just deleted/blocked him and any of his family I was friends with. Just so I won't have the opportunity to stalk/creep. I won't lie & say that didn't suck, it did, gonna be a rough week I'm afraid. 2
preraph Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 I'm so sorry. But wow, you have great radar! Don't ever doubt it in the future.
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