Tailor2000 Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 One of the things I keep hearing from Married people, people with Families, is that us single people, supposedly have so much free time, we're in control of all our time and can do whatever we want. What a pile of baloney. Married people seem to suggest that they're not in control of their time due to their families and what they have to do there. That might be true. But when you dig a little deeper and hear what these people get up to. Well, many of the married people I know are up to so much more than me. They go out visiting their friends all over the place, going for runs, going for meals, family functions, holidays. Oh wait. That's socialising. Are they trying to suggest that this isn't time that they control? Us single people, like married people, we have to cook, clean, shop, take care of the car, look after the home. And we have to do it by ourselves. We don't have any significant others to help us along the way, to pick us up when we're down, to encourage us. We have families - OK, no children, but we have brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, parents and friends. We have to do the social functions too, the parties, the meals, the birthdays, the weddings. Married people aren't exlusive in that. And we have to work, we have to squeeze in our hobbies, and our training, and our overtime, because we're single and we get taken advantage of at work because we don't have kids. Some of us are just better at making an effort with our friends, better at looking through our diaries and scheduling something in. The amount of times I've heard from married people about how "busy" they are. I mean really? How hard is it for you to look through your diary and find a free date. It's not difficult. I once told off a couple of close friends for that. They said "we have to do this, we have to do that". I said, me too. I've got to do that too. Your time isn't more precious than me. All you have to do, is look through your calendar, fine a date you are free and let me know. But instead, they even procrastinate over looking through their calendar. Could you imagine if these people were in a meeting, and at the end they had to schedule another meeting. Can you imagine the conversation? "Right, next meeting, next month?" "sorry, can't look at my diary for three weeks". Yet somehow doing that to your friends is more acceptable. 2
Gloria25 Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Agreed.... Yes, when you have kids it's hard to "control" everything cuz like some people who want to put their kids on a "schedule" - it's ridiculous cuz a baby and even toddler isn't gonna always wanna eat and/or sleep at the same time and to be so regimented with your kid as if your kid had to get up and go to do brain surgery the next day is just wrong. But, some people are selfish and want the kids to be on "their" schedule at moments when that's unreasonable. But, with age and the time they start going to school, it gets a bit easier to have more time on your hands and require them to eat/sleep at certain times. But yes, if you are boring, uninteresting, lazy and/or unorganized when you were single - being married isn't gonna make it better and/or change it. Some people have kids cuz they have no life and guess what? After the kids they still have no life. I see neighbors of mine...Some are out walking with their kids, playing, etc. Some - just like when they were single and/or childless - are doing the same routine of work/study then come home and sit on their couch, the same thing they when they were single and now they got a kid to sit on the couch with them and that's sad. But, people are gonna be who they are...kids and/or marriage ain't gonna change them. It's possible to have an interesting and fulfilling life if you make one for yourself. Some married peeps with kids, they find babysitters and make sure they have a "date nite". Some, they make play dates with other parents - and even watch each other's kids so they can free up "us/date nite" time for the marriage. Some get out and push their kid in the strollers, walk the dogs, etc. Some involve their kids in activities (T-ball, karate, music, etc.) and/or even coach, serve on the PTA, go volunteering with their kids - and, that way they socialize and have a "life". Now granted, I don't expect married people to be running the streets like they did when they were single, but again, some invite other married people over for drinks, games, and dinner - again, they have a "life"; and, while that "life" may not be the same when they were single, they're not just sitting on their couches wasting away. So, it's not that us single people have nothing but time on our hands - we, if we're a certain type of people - make time to have a "life". I'm single and yes, while I do have a lot of "me" time, I still get busy. I'm a "homebody", but not a "potato couch". When I'm not working overtime, studying, etc. I'm making time to work out, volunteer, learn something new. I'm not just sitting on my couch wasting time. Yea, some of my friends, when they get married and/or are dating someone they "disappear" and it's hard to find them to do anything - but those "friends" of mine? They had no life before they met someone, and some are divorced now and/or have issues in their marriages...IMO, cuz they leaned on the marriage and/or their SO to have a "life". Then, they come calling you up when hubby is having drama with them and they don't wanna be leaning on hubby. Some married people have a good balance. Now and then they do something with others without the SO (i.e. women getting their nails done, book reading clubs, guys having card nite/watching sports); and, that's good cuz that way they don't feel "ball and chained" to their SO and come back with something interesting to bring to the marriage. But, some SOs won't do anything without their SO. You see women dragging their hubby to the mall. Guys, just plopping in front of the TV watching the game while wifey upset in another room cuz he's ignoring her...and, that's sad. As long as your SO isn't trying to run the streets as if he/her is single - time away from your SO is ok. Yesterday, my brother and wifey were inviting me over to eat, watch movies, etc - but I had to turn them down, cuz yes, this single lady has a "life". Yes, they do take up a lot of my time; and, I needed a breather. So yes, us single peeps can also get "controlled" by our relatives with families - if we let them. I can't be on "their" schedule. I gotta do my thing. I "do" have a life - even though I'm single and childless. So, sorry for the long rant - but IMO, while kids and/or an SO take up a lot of your time - if you really wanted to you could have a "life". But, if you're a certain "type" of person (i.e. homebody, potato couch, socialite) being married or single isn't gonna change who you are.
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