Dating atheist only...thoughts?

[VintageWine]

I've been an atheist since 2014. I don't have a problem with people believing in a God(s). I have friends that are from different faiths, some are also non-believers as well. When it comes to friendships, I don't care. When it comes to relationships (romance) I do care. I came out to my mother about my atheism and also my sexuality in 2014 or whenever, it didn't go well, it went terrible. Thrown out the house, came back, thrown out the house again and back.

 

The things I didn't like was just that my sexuality and non-belief being seen as a "crime" when it's not. I'm still the same person regardless of these things. I love my mom, don't get me wrong, I just don't get why it had to go that way, thankfully, I'm over it. Anyways, back to the main point of this thread. I decided today I want to date atheist only. Why? because personally I feel as if I would be better off with that. When it comes to dating, and it gets to that point that things get more serious, you guys start thinking long term....what comes to my mind is kids because I would like a family of my own someday. I do not want to raise my kids teaching them about religion at such a young age. I want to teach them about loving people, accepting people as who they are regardless of whatever (gender,sex,sexuality,race,belief...etc).

 

When they reach a certain age, that's when I will start teaching them religion, however, I don't want them to just be an atheist or whatever cause I'm an atheist. I want them to make their own path. Believe whatever they believe, they can be Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, whatever, I don't care. I want my kids to discover themselves, religion is a personal thing and it should be treated that way, regardless of anything.

 

I don't want my kids to be brought up the way I was brought up, I want to raise my kids and let them know that I will always love them regardless of their beliefs, sexuality, gender whatever.

 

Also, I don't want to wait until marriage to have sex with someone. I love sex, I love it a lot, I have a high sex drive, I need sex. Am I wrong for wanting to date atheist only? and wrong for not wanting to wait until marriage to have sex with someone?

 

I'm starting to feel a bit bad right now it reminds me of my ex FWB in a way. According to him he wants to be with someone of his culture and background because it's easier. I want to be with an Atheist because I feel it would be easier in the long run. I don't want to be with someone that's going to worry about me going to hell because I don't wait until marriage to want to have sex with someone, I'm bisexual and a non believer.

 

Thoughts and opinions are welcomed. I also know by doing that lowers my dating pool in a way.

 

Edit - I also stopped caring about my mom wanting me to be with a believer. Is that also wrong of me for not caring for what she wants?

 

And my god, I probably sound selfish. x.x

Edited March 6, 2016 by VintageWine

[loveweary11]

As a long term atheist, my advice would be just to go for people who aren't very religious.

 

When it comes to relationships, if religion never comes up, it doesn't matter what they believe deep down.

 

Most everyone I've been with believed in God, higher powers, paganism, w.e.

 

It was never an issue because it was a small part of their lives, as being an atheist is a tiny part of my life.

 

Life is too busy/interesting to devote time to religion, which works out pretty well for us atheists, actually.

[joseb]

Well, I guess I'm lucky cause living in Australia it's almost never an issue.

I don't really know many people that actually believe in a God that resembles anything like the traditional Christian one (or hell or any of that). I know a few people who might have a bit of a belief in something maybe, higher powers or whatever. Often it's more of a hope really.

 

Even back in catholic Ireland, these days it's not too cool to be banging on about religious piety given what's happened with the catholic church. I think most people there are probably moving towards Aethism or something like it.

 

So yeah, I'd focus on people who either are not too religious or who aren't into a traditional belief system that you don't feel comfortable with.

[MoreAmore]

Atheist here.

 

I'm not ever dating anyone who is a believer. The thought process there, and the rational focus, are just too important to me to ignore. I won't date anyone who isn't a skeptic, either. There's nothing wrong with having value important to you.

 

And there's a ridiculous number of good men (even in the religious area I live in) out there who meet that qualification, so I don't have to ever "compromise."

 

I don't want to be arguing with my partner over core values, or in a position where I'm expected to indoctrinate my children or look the other way while others do so.

[Doop]

Well, I guess I'm lucky cause living in Australia it's almost never an issue.

I don't really know many people that actually believe in a God that resembles anything like the traditional Christian one (or hell or any of that). I know a few people who might have a bit of a belief in something maybe, higher powers or whatever. Often it's more of a hope really.

 

Even back in catholic Ireland, these days it's not too cool to be banging on about religious piety given what's happened with the catholic church. I think most people there are probably moving towards Aethism or something like it.

 

So yeah, I'd focus on people who either are not too religious or who aren't into a traditional belief system that you don't feel comfortable with.

 

Y'all don't know how good you guys have it. The US is a lost cause. We have the most idiotic religiously fanatical morons in the world. I think Ken Ham was y'all's last religiotard, and we inherited him. Now he's building a "life sized" replica of Noah's ark here in the US. Its sad how retarded our country is.

Edited March 6, 2016 by Doop

[Gaeta]

Of course you are not selfish.

 

If you're southern American I can see where it's going to make your life very difficult but stick to who you are and you'll meet someone who loves you just like that.

 

As a Canadian I've never had to deal with religious pressure. I was born and raise Catholic but up here it's nothing like you have in the US. It's very liberal, divorced and gay people, gay couples are accepted in our society in our Churches.

[JamesM]

Conservative Christian here. Married for decades.

 

Your attitude is correct.

 

I would advise anyone to date someone with similar beliefs. Period.

 

When you do marry someone, then you will find that similar beliefs and common ideals will make it much much easier. There are plenty of small differences that cause disagreements. Major differences will be continual rifts that may always be a problem.

 

Yes, some compromise and find happiness, but most don't and divorce.

[MightyPen]

OP I think your approach is logical (I'd expect nothing less from a fellow atheist).

 

I was VERY lucky in that I "de-converted" from religion in my late 20s (I was already married by that time), and my wife, who had been only mildly religious, was happy to say, "Okay then, I'm done with religion too! I'm sick of it anyway." It could have ended very badly.

 

Now my rejection was more intellectual and substantive, while hers was more of a "I have enough on my plate every day without worrying about religion," but in the end, we reached pretty much the same point together.

 

(She is more tolerant listening to religious people try to "sell us" on their messages...while I'm not so nice).