Author Amorphium2 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 I'm going to try this at a different angle. Did she know you were actually on a date? I go out for drinks with male coworkers all the time. (My industry is mostly male though.) It's not unusual for it to be one on one even. I have never considered these meetings dates. it's not usual, in group settings yes. At our first date she joked about it being a bad idea because we are coworkers, but she just grinned and still accepted.
Justanaverageguy Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 (edited) At our first date she joked about it being a bad idea because we are coworkers, but she just grinned and still accepted. OK so its clear it was a date. She knew and was overtly rude and accepted an offer from another guy to go back to his place directly in front of you while on a date. I don't care who it was if she did that with out an up front explanation that's beyond rude and your initial response was correct. See you later - no further contact. The real question is why are you still talking, thinking, concerned about her ? Stick with your first instinct and move on. In terms of how you deal with it at work - If you need to work with her act professional otherwise simply avoid her. Case closed. Edited March 8, 2016 by Justanaverageguy
Author Amorphium2 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 OK so its clear it was a date. She knew and was overtly rude and accepted an offer from another guy to go back to his place directly in front of you while on a date. I don't care who it was if she did that with out an up front explanation that's beyond rude and your initial response was correct. See you later - no further contact. The real question is why are you still talking, thinking, concerned about her ? Stick with your first instinct and move on. In terms of how you deal with it at work - If you need to work with her act professional otherwise simply avoid her. Case closed. Well, after 2 days in the office (it's a small open-plan office with ~8 people in the same room) it's been awkwarad but manageable. That's why I wanted to make sure we are "ok" before we met at the office again. She is definitely avoiding me; it's not very obvious but noticeable, she doesn't look me in the eye, avoids standing too close to me etc, even though she said everything's ok but now I am again remembering to care more about how people act than what they say, I just needed that reminder. We are a group of 3-4 smokers (her included) and I'm normally the guy who "rounds up" people for a smoke break, I just asked her normally and she sometimes asked if other people were coming too, which I always made sure of. Fortunately I got transferred to another office in the same city, an ad hoc decision from my boss because someone took sick-leave, which will leave me with a shorter commute so I can leave the weirdness behind and relax. Thanks again for all the answers here, you really helped me to at least keep a somewhat level head.
Marc878 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 Go dark and block her on everything. You can't rationalize irrational behavior. This was not worth any additional time or effort on your part. Her actions told you everything you needed to know. Chock this up to experience learned.
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