traveler_n Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 I've gone on about 6 dates with a guy and we usually keep in contact quite frequently. The last time I saw him/heard from him was 4 days ago. He left to go to Puerto Rico at 4 a.m. and gave me the key to his apartment. I asked if he made it there ok and he said that he had just landed. I was browsing my instagram feed and I noticed he added a "provocative" looking girl from the place that he is visiting. I didn't intentionally look for this. I know that we're not exclusive but he seems to really like me/care for me and we are intimate. He told me he liked me, he always asks if i'm okay, he does things for me, cuddles with me, etc. He wrote my a sincere message when we first started "dating" letting me know that he is looking for a relationship and what his expectations are. However, he's a pretty sexual person and sometimes I question if he is really looking for a relationship. Is it ok for him to possibly be hooking-up with other girls? I really don't know if he is or not but my guess is that he probably is. Is it typical for a guy not to keep in contact while on vacation? I know that "dating" doesn't equal a relationship. I just don't want to end up getting hurt because I've been hurt many times before. Thanks!
CarrieT Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Why did he give you a key to his apartment - and after only six dates!?!?
kidm Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 He doesn't have to contact you while on vacation and he can sleep with other women overseas or even when he's back. You've only been on 6 dates and are not in an exclusive relationship. If you're not comfortable with him dating and sleeping with other women, keep your legs closed until you have established commitment down the road. You can't assume anything. On another note, I also found it strange that he gave you a key to his apartment after 6 dates. Did he say why? Seems like a weird gesture...
GR4 Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Why did he give you a key to his apartment - and after only six dates!?!? Yeah, that is very weird I have to say. Sounds like you're moving way, way, way too fast with each other. I'd never dream of giving my key to someone I was dating. He's away on holiday. When I'm on holiday I don't want to be spending my time on the phone. Wait for him to get back. 2
Author traveler_n Posted March 5, 2016 Author Posted March 5, 2016 He left me with a spare key and told me to leave it under his mat whenever I left his place. He didn't tell me to keep the key.
d0nnivain Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 He gave you unfettered access to his place while he was away. That is still odd. It's only been 6 dates with no talk of exclusivity. On vacation he has lots to fill his time besides his phone or computer. It seems typical that he's not calling. I don't stay in touch on vacation.
preraph Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 I guess everybody is different, but when I "go on vacation," to me that means I get totally away from my everyday life and totally escape and want no reminders of it. 2
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 I just don't want to end up getting hurt because I've been hurt many times before. Thanks! Then why do you put yourself in these situations where you can get hurt? If sex means something more than just sex to you then wait before jumping in bed. If you don't want to deal with multi dater then address exclusivity early. You make the rules of your love life and if it doesn't sit well with men you date then they can go date someone else.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 It sounds like you are getting a bit too invested with this guy. If he is involved with other women, you need to protect yourself from getting hurt, both emotionally and physically (wear protection because you don't know who else he is sleeping with). I suggest that you go on a few dates with other guys while he is away so you aren't sitting around waiting for him. Remember you have other options, and you don't have to settle for a player. See what else is out there. You might find a guy that doesn't just say he is looking for an exclusive relationship, but actually shows you he wants one with you.
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