MgoBluegirl Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 I have not been on this site for a while. I am divorced and so sick of being single I could puke. I met a guy 3 months ago on match.com. We hit it off immediately and we have seen a ton of each other these past weeks. I was kind of wondering where we stood so outside while he was having a cig I walked outside to talk to him about it and didn't get the reaction I wanted. He is like 'What? so we are a couple now?" and then said he really didn't want anything serious right now. Whatever. I was pissed and disappointed and we wound up having a fight. This was Monday night. I found myself kind of shellshocked at his reaction since I thought we were totally into each other and I brought up the idea we should take our ads down. He apparently has no intention of taking his ad down. This is from a guy who spends almost every night here when when I do not have kids. I told him right now since we are not on the same page here we should probably just take a break seeing each other. I noticed even that he had been updating his ad before the talk and wanted to know where we stand. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else he said no but was not ready to make a commitment yet. He left after gathering up a few of his belongings. I sent off a few teary texts saying if this is the end I will miss him and he said he will too but he just doesn't want anything serious right now. I basically feel like a glorified booty call. I got a phone call last night from a blocked number which I normally don't answer but it was him. He said he really needed my help as he had been arrested for dui and drug possession (pot a ton more than what he is medically allowed). His bail was set at $10000. I don't even understand how bail works I guess he has to post 10% cash then the rest goes to a bondsman or something? anyways he said he was desperate and knew he could count on me and promised to pay every dime back. For a second I almost agreed until he told me we aren't serious and I am not going to put up my hard earned money for a guy that is not my boyfriend. I told him that I am sorry but I am not in a position to help him. He almost begged and says he has no one else to turn too and that his daughters birthday is Sunday and he has to see her. I said I am sorry but he made it clear where we stand and we really have no relationship anymore. I wished him luck and hung up. Was I a total bitch for saying no? I did have the money technically saved plus I own a house but why would I risk it on him? And if he doesn't show up to court I lose it right? 6
CarrieT Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 You are not a bitch and totally did the right thing. He is not responsible and you have no reason to trust that you will get your money back. 5
Emilia Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Are you kidding OP? Even if you are his mother you aren't obligated to pay out $$$$$. He is a criminal, good riddance! 2
Author MgoBluegirl Posted March 5, 2016 Author Posted March 5, 2016 well he is now yes but I did some snooping around on him when we first started dating and couldn't find anything on him but a few traffic tickets. He has a medical marijuana card that allows him some pot but its all BS anyways you can get one for anything. I am kind pissed he doesn't want to be serious but wants me to bail him out. I will not even answer his calls and texts now. Are you kidding OP? Even if you are his mother you aren't obligated to pay out $$$$$. He is a criminal, good riddance! 4
SunnyWeather Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 kudos to you for being strong and not giving in to his compelling story. who knows, maybe he was playing you for money? 3
SunnyWeather Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 ... I will not even answer his calls and texts now. well done! 3
LydiaLong Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 MGO, you don't know how proud I am of you that you did what you did. I'll wager MOST women would have put up the money, and they wouldnt' have gotten it back. He can't have it both ways. You did exactly the right thing. Count yourself lucky that you dodged this bullet. He's a loser. 8
266696687 Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 I have not been on this site for a while. I am divorced and so sick of being single I could puke. I met a guy 3 months ago on match.com. We hit it off immediately and we have seen a ton of each other these past weeks. I was kind of wondering where we stood so outside while he was having a cig I walked outside to talk to him about it and didn't get the reaction I wanted. He is like 'What? so we are a couple now?" and then said he really didn't want anything serious right now. Whatever. I was pissed and disappointed and we wound up having a fight. This was Monday night. I found myself kind of shellshocked at his reaction since I thought we were totally into each other and I brought up the idea we should take our ads down. He apparently has no intention of taking his ad down. This is from a guy who spends almost every night here when when I do not have kids. I told him right now since we are not on the same page here we should probably just take a break seeing each other. I noticed even that he had been updating his ad before the talk and wanted to know where we stand. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else he said no but was not ready to make a commitment yet. He left after gathering up a few of his belongings. I sent off a few teary texts saying if this is the end I will miss him and he said he will too but he just doesn't want anything serious right now. I basically feel like a glorified booty call. I got a phone call last night from a blocked number which I normally don't answer but it was him. He said he really needed my help as he had been arrested for dui and drug possession (pot a ton more than what he is medically allowed). His bail was set at $10000. I don't even understand how bail works I guess he has to post 10% cash then the rest goes to a bondsman or something? anyways he said he was desperate and knew he could count on me and promised to pay every dime back. For a second I almost agreed until he told me we aren't serious and I am not going to put up my hard earned money for a guy that is not my boyfriend. I told him that I am sorry but I am not in a position to help him. He almost begged and says he has no one else to turn too and that his daughters birthday is Sunday and he has to see her. I said I am sorry but he made it clear where we stand and we really have no relationship anymore. I wished him luck and hung up. Was I a total bitch for saying no? I did have the money technically saved plus I own a house but why would I risk it on him? And if he doesn't show up to court I lose it right? Well done! I am so impressed by your reaction here!! You totally did the right thing! 3
LostOnes05 Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Proud of you...that's a huge request. And yes, if he didn't show up you would lose your house. No Bueño. 2
Shining One Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 OP, you did the right thing. Don't question your decision on this. 3
preraph Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Hell, no, you don't give this guy bail money! I'm glad he finally was honest with you after you cornered him, but he must have known you wanted a real boyfriend, for no other reason than most women do. He just banged you while he could until you wanted more and then bailed. So let him get his own butt out of jail. He is either looking to stay single and not interested in a real relationship, just sex, and someone to bail him out of jail. He can call his mommy for that. 2
smackie9 Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Even if he said you were official and you were newly Bf/GF....in jail and needs bail money? D-E-A-L-B-R-E-A-K-E-R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This guy is an f-ing loser. Tip: sorry I know this is old fashioned but if you want to make sure a guy is in it for the long haul, keep your legs closed until further notice. Never "assume" commitment is in the cards just because you get along famously. 2
mortensorchid Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 I'm glad to hear you said no. I didn't realize he was in this situation until the last portion of the story. He wants you to bail him out? Let him rot. You're not his mother nor his bank, he can go whining to her about his being in jail. 2
Recommended Posts